As we all know, no one, including Ted Cruz himself, can confirm that Ted Cruz is even human, and strange apparitions on the internet seem to lend credence to the theory that he is, in fact, a robot.
So it's not a surprise that, during a recent televised debate against his midterm election opponent Beto O'Rourke, Ted Cruz descended into an impenetrable silence when asked a personal, human-centered question on live television.
The query was simple: tell us something non-political about yourself that will give Texans an insight into who you are as a person. Easy!
For me, it'd be like, "The other night I cried actual tears at an episode of Real Housewives of New York while eating an entire plate of pizza rolls." That tells you everything you need to know about me, which is that I am emotionally unstable and unfit for office. Done and done!
Wasn't quite so cut-and-dry for ol' Ted...
Yikes. One can't help but wonder what possibly could have been going through his circuits head that caused such a pregnant pause.
Luckily, The Late Show has posited a theory and, well... it's perfect!
I mean, it checks out! It's not like someone could come open the panel in his back and hit ctrl-alt-del. It was live television! Mystery solved, as far as I'm concerned.
I kid, I kid! Of course Ted Cruz isn't a robot.
Everyone knows he's the Zodiac Killer and also one of the conspirators in the JFK assassination, all of whom were definitely human, as folks on the internet were quick to point out:
Though he might also be a reptile--who's to say?
Robot, serial killer, reptile, or otherwise, internet folk were delighted by the opportunity to laugh at Cruz's expense:
And came up with some theories of their own:
I've thought a lot about it and I think this last one just might be the answer. Now do robot reptiles eat Subway? THAT is the real question...
H/T HuffingtonPost, Daily Dot
@realDonaldTrump/Truth Social