Nathan Lane Opens Up About The Devastating Thing His Mom Said To Him When He Came Out As Gay

There are two types of people when it comes to first becoming acquainted with Nathan Lane: they either immediately assume that he's gay, or they assume he is a really good actor.

With some of his top achievements being The Birdcage, The Producers, Modern Family, and The Lion King, Nathan Lane is both. He's an incredible, immersive, and funny actor, but when it comes to his being gay, he's said in interview after interview that it's something he just assumes "everybody knows" about him.

But there was a time when his orientation was not so well-known, and his mother did not take it well.

While on The Howard Stern Show, the subject of coming out came up, and Lane reflected on telling his mom:

Prior to moving to New York, he wanted to break the news to her that he was seeing someone, and it wasn't the girl he'd told her about.

"I didn't want to tell her, but before I left, we had been through so much together, and, you know, I had never lied to her."

"So I sat her down and said, 'Look, I know you think I've been seeing a girl, but actually, I've been seeing a guy.'"

"And she said, 'You mean you're a homosexual?'"

"I'd never heard it put that way before, so I said, 'Yeah, I guess so.'"

"And she said, 'I would rather you were dead.'"

"And I said, 'I knew you'd understand.'"

"You have to understand this was another generation, and this is not a sophisticated person in that way."

"And she didn't say it in a vindictive or angry way... She said it with a sort of sadness."

In an earlier interview with James Lipton on Inside the Actors Studio, Lane further explained:

"I told my mother I was gay, and then her face went white, and then she said, 'I would rather you were dead.'"

"I said, 'I knew you'd understand'. And then once I got her head out of the oven, everything was fine."

"She came from a generation where, yes, of course, she would have preferred if I were straight and had gotten married, but she, you know, she was very accepting."

"What she enjoyed most was when I was in a musical. She would always say, 'I'm not saying this because I'm your mother; I'm saying it because it's true: you were the best one.'"

You can watch the segment here:

- YouTubeyoutu.be

In the "Today I Learned" subReddit, Redditors had qualms with people who were not allies to the LGBTQ+ community.

"Nah, she may have meant the best, but Nathan Lane's mom is a huge b***h." - n8opot8o

"When my dad told my family he was gay, the first thing my Grandpa said was, 'You know what we used to do to gays when I was young? Took them out behind the pub and beat the [f-word] out of them.'"

"Luckily, he didn't hold that opinion for long. He's even attended a few Vancouver Gay Pride Festivals with my dad now." - duncanfm

"I get that this meant that she understood the hardships associated with a homosexual orientation, and would rather her son not have to deal with them, but this is a HORRIBLE thing to say." - pelvicmomentum

"That's what gets me about people who say being gay is a choice. Who on earth would choose to be ostracized, mocked, and in far too common instances, attacked for who they are attracted to and love?" - ranhalt

" Parents who think that way should drop dead."

"I never accept the 'It was how I was raised' excuse. I was raised in an extremely bigoted household (my dad still says the n-word!) and I'm not like that at all."

"'That's how I was raised' is what people tell themselves to make themselves feel better." - baconson

"I like that he didn't let his emotions get in the way, and just shrugged it off with that comment. I mean, that's pretty harsh coming from your Mom." - brimshark

"Maybe his mom needed a 'pirin' from 'Birdcage.'" - Anabuis

"When it became known that Nathan Lane was gay, he was asked about it and responded, 'I just assumed everybody knew.' Classic." - Aktow

"I've never quite understood homophobia. As a straight female, I would feel physically sick if I were forced to be gay and to have sex with other women, and so I can only assume that gay people might feel the same way if they were forced to be straight."

"And let's face it, if it were a perversion or a lifestyle choice, then you wouldn't get gay Muslims or Christians, or anyone who lived in a community where it was frowned upon. So it's obviously not a lifestyle choice."

"I seriously don't get homophobia. Not from philanthropy, but because it doesn't make logical sense." - GTBlues

"Story time. When I was in ninth grade, I was (and still am) a huge Nathan Lane fan. I had to have my appendix removed. Friends of my family who lived in NY saw him at a bar the next night. Apparently, he had just had a huge breakup with his boyfriend and was very visibly distraught and crying at the bar in a restaurant."

"My friend walked up after hemming and hawing, trying to decide if he should ask him. Finally, he thought, 'Well, I'm probably not going to see him for a while,' so he went up and said, 'Look, I can tell you're going through something rough, but my friend just had surgery, and it would mean the world to him if he could have your autograph. If you don't worry about it, I understand.'"

"To which Nathan Lane said, 'No problem, what's his name?' and he signed a card, saying, 'Best Wishes and get well soon, Nathan Lane.' I was so happy."

"What a class act. He deserves the world and ten worlds of happiness." - Monoxboogie13

Lane's mother may have had the best of intentions in what she said, but putting it that way was too much.

Fortunately, he has made quite a name for himself, not just for being hilarious but for working through tough moments with humor, and apparently, that isn't just while the camera is rolling.