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Billionaire Roasted After Giving Dating Advice To Young Men By Touting His Truly Awkward Pick-Up Line
Nope, this was billionaire hedge fund manager Bill Ackman logging onto X to offer lonely young men unsolicited dating advice as if he were America’s last functioning courtship expert.
Y’all… America is down catastrophically bad.
Ackman’s November 15 post, which has now surpassed 36.6 million views, lamented how difficult dating has become for young people.
He started off with:
“I hear from many young men that they find it difficult to meet young women in a public setting. In other words, the online culture has destroyed the ability to spontaneously meet strangers. As such, I thought I would share a few words that I used in my youth to meet someone that I found compelling.”
Insert the 30 Rock GIF of Steve Buscemi as a “hip teen” holding a skateboard at a high school, saying, “How do you do, fellow kids?”
Ackman then unveiled the golden line he used to deploy back when Wall Street was still writing off martini lunches as “research and development:”
“I would ask: ‘May I meet you?’ before engaging further in a conversation. I almost never got a No.”
Before we go any further, let’s pause and appreciate the cinematic absurdity of a hedge fund manager—one worth an estimated $9.4 billion, according to Forbes—advising regular, non-yacht-owning Americans on how to flirt.
This is the same Bill Ackman who founded Pershing Square Capital Management, the “activist investor” firm known for high-risk bets, public feuds, and a long history of dragging corporate America—kicking, screaming, and clutching its quarterly earnings—into whatever governance structure benefits him most.
“Out of touch” doesn’t even begin to cover it; this is a man whose idea of “meeting someone naturally” is bumping into a fellow mogul on the tarmac while both their private jets refuel.
And that’s just the financial side. The 59-year-old also enthusiastically styles himself as a public intellectual. He has donated to both Democrats and Donald Trump, a political U-turn with the same whiplash energy as a 1990s rom-com montage.
Most recently, he’s reinvented himself as a full-time conservative influencer, chiming in on everything from campus “free speech crises” to billionaire-solidarity culture wars. It’s the sort of ideological makeover only a man with a $9.4 billion cushion could attempt without requiring physical therapy.
He continued:
“It inevitably enabled the opportunity for a further conversation. I met a lot of really interesting people this way."
For additional context, Ackman has also been married twice: first to landscape architect Karen Herskovitz, with whom he shares three daughter, and then to designer Neri Oxman, whose name has enough elite cachet to be featured on Netflix’s Abstract: The Art of Design.
The billionaire added:
“I think the combination of proper grammar and politeness was the key to its effectiveness. You might give it a try.”
Ah, yes, nothing says foreplay quite like MLA formatting.
And oh, the internet sure gave it a try, but not quite the way Ackman intended:
In his post, Ackman also clarified that his “old school” greeting was meant to be inclusive:
“And yes, I think it should also work for women seeking men as well as same sex interactions. Just two cents from an older happily married guy concerned about our next generation’s happiness and population replacement rates.”
Of course, he mentioned population replacement rates. Nothing says “romance” like a billionaire slipping into a light demographic panic while encouraging you to use polite grammar.
You can view the whole post below: 
@BillAckman/Twitter
Meanwhile, Ackman was reportedly a guest at a White House dinner honoring Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman, seated alongside Elon Musk, Cristiano Ronaldo, FIFA’s Gianni Infantino, and several AI/crypto moguls. Quite the guest list for a man lecturing the public about meaningful human connections.
Because it is impossible to mention Mohammed bin Salman without mentioning the murder of Washington Post journalist Jamal Khashoggi, we must acknowledge the context: the CIA concluded in 2018 that the crown prince personally approved the assassination.
This is the geopolitical backdrop for Ackman’s nostalgia-infused plea for “proper grammar” in dating — a billionaire dispensing Victorian pick-up lines between war-crimes-adjacent banquets.
And the internet was not done with him:
But here’s the thing: billionaires love treating structural problems as personality flaws, preferably in ways that never implicate themselves. Wealthy men like Ackman live in a bubble where “online culture ruined dating” is a legitimate diagnosis.
At the same time, the actual chokeholds on young people’s romantic lives are wages, rent, climate dread, political instability, and the creeping suspicion that billionaires are captaining the ship straight into the iceberg.
College journalist Nicholas Sherwood captured this dynamic perfectly in Psychology Today:
“If the public is to seriously confront the growing crisis of loneliness, it cannot—must not—frame the crisis as something exclusive to men. To do so is to allow the manosphere to take ownership of the matter and entrench culture further into a contemptuous, misogynistic fugue.”
In other words: loneliness isn’t a male issue, or a female issue, or a “rich man wants to feel wise” issue. It is a human issue—one that will not be fixed by hedge-fund courtship scripts, billionaire nostalgia, or demographic anxiety disguised as dating advice.
Still, if you ever find yourself at a party with Bill Ackman—perhaps one where Elon Musk is passionately explaining Mars colonization to a houseplant—you’ll know exactly what to do. Just walk up, place a hand over your heart, and say with the purest, most grammatically sound diction you can muster:
“May I… log off?”
Treasury Secretary Ripped After Offering Bonkers Explanation For Why Beef Prices Are So High
Appearing on Sunday Morning Futures with Maria Bartiromo, Bessent was asked to address rising beef prices. Bartiromo played a video clip of Omaha Steaks CEO Nate Rempe claiming Americans could see ground beef costing $10 a pound.
When asked to explain why, Bessent went back to the Republican standby of blaming Democratic President Joe Biden, claiming beef prices were inherited by Trump despite prices skyrocketing under Trump. Then the Trump cabinet member went on a flight of fancy with his next excuse.
Bessent stated:
"And there’s also, because of the mass immigration, a disease that had been—we’ve been rid of in North America made its way up through South America, you know, as these migrants brought some of their cattle with them."
Trump's Treasury Secretary expected people watching Fox News to be stupid enough to believe migrants from beef-producing nations like Argentina, Brazil, and Uruguay were trekking from South America through the jungles with cattle.
The ridiculous comment drew the mockery it deserved.
In a thorough skewering, Fred Schott posted a few of the memes in the "Antifa, Republicans, Democrats & Independents United Against Trumpism" Facebook group with a caption reflecting on some top Trump lies that his MAGA minions gobbled up and regurgitated online.
He highlighted the repeatedly disproven campaign lie about immigrants eating pets in Ohio and the denial of Trump's close association with registered sex offender Jeffrey Epstein, before mocking Bessent's ridiculous excuse for rising costs caused by Trump's losing trade wars and complete ignorance of how tariffs work.
Schott snarked:
"Look, I’m sure the Ohio folks were eating the cats and the dogs. And that Trump sent birthday cards only to Clinton’s friends, not his own."
"But folks from Argentina coming thousands of miles through rainforests, deserts, and cartel checkpoints with their cattle, and then smuggling cows across the border with them? Were they walking them through with their paid Cowboy Coyotes or did they ride them in?"
"Maybe they have cow catapults like we saw in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Yeah, that must be it. Perhaps Fox will show the cow-flying scene from the movie as proof of it. While CBS gets sued for editing, you know, reality."
"Ok, I did see a guy with three cows on the plane the other day. But it wasn’t like they were in coach."
You can see his post here:
Fred Schott/Facebook
People dunked on Bessent across social media.
Antifa, Republicans, Democrats & Independents United Against Trumpism/Facebook
Antifa, Republicans, Democrats & Independents United Against Trumpism/Facebook
Antifa, Republicans, Democrats & Independents United Against Trumpism/Facebook
Antifa, Republicans, Democrats & Independents United Against Trumpism/Facebook
Antifa, Republicans, Democrats & Independents United Against Trumpism/Facebook
Antifa, Republicans, Democrats & Independents United Against Trumpism/Facebook
Antifa, Republicans, Democrats & Independents United Against Trumpism/Facebook
Antifa, Republicans, Democrats & Independents United Against Trumpism/Facebook
Antifa, Republicans, Democrats & Independents United Against Trumpism/Facebook
Antifa, Republicans, Democrats & Independents United Against Trumpism/Facebook
Antifa, Republicans, Democrats & Independents United Against Trumpism/Facebook
Antifa, Republicans, Democrats & Independents United Against Trumpism/Facebook
Antifa, Republicans, Democrats & Independents United Against Trumpism/Facebook
Antifa, Republicans, Democrats & Independents United Against Trumpism/Facebook
Antifa, Republicans, Democrats & Independents United Against Trumpism/Facebook
Antifa, Republicans, Democrats & Independents United Against Trumpism/Facebook
Antifa, Republicans, Democrats & Independents United Against Trumpism/Facebook
Antifa, Republicans, Democrats & Independents United Against Trumpism/Facebook
Antifa, Republicans, Democrats & Independents United Against Trumpism/Facebook
Trump campaigned on a promise to lower consumer prices, especially grocery prices.
Instead, Trump's ineptitude has driven prices up across the board, tanked the economy, and increased unemployment.
Economists and ranchers say the Trump administration’s tariffs on beef from Brazil, Australia, New Zealand, Uruguay, as well as rising costs for feed, farm equipment and machinery for domestic beef producers are solely to blame for rising beef prices.
Girl's Hilariously Iconic School Photos Have TikTok In Stitches After She Asked To 'Try Her Own Pose'
But Canadian mom Brooke Hamilton was looking forward to the occasion with her children, Zuri and West, though she never could have expected how the photos would turn out. To mark the occasion, Hamilton recorded a video of the pair standing by the front door, smiling and hugging each other, with 10-year-old Zuri winking and posing in the final seconds.
As it turned out, when Zuri saw the photographer that day, she asked if she could come up with her own pose for the shot, which the photographer allowed.
The results were nothing short of iconic. West took two adorable photos that showed off his big smile and bright eyes, while his sister turned to the side, put one hand on her hip, and winked at the camera. Her other hand was held up in a "peace" sign while her mouth was open in a big smile, her tongue sticking out to the side.
Here is Zuri's school photo for this year:
@thenewmrshamilton/TikTok
You can see the video here:
@thenewmrshamilton Hahaha I can’t even be mad at this 😜✌🏻#schoolphotos #schoolpictureday #pictureday #makeyourownkindofmusic #canadiankids @Wade Hamilton
Fellow TikTokers were tickled by Zuri's personality and bravery in choosing her own pose.
@thenewmrshamilton/TikTok
@thenewmrshamilton/TikTok
@thenewmrshamilton/TikTok
@thenewmrshamilton/TikTok
@thenewmrshamilton/TikTok
@thenewmrshamilton/TikTok
@thenewmrshamilton/TikTok
@thenewmrshamilton/TikTok
@thenewmrshamilton/TikTok
@thenewmrshamilton/TikTok
Many also hoped that Brooke Hamilton would frame the photos and savor the moment forever.
@thenewmrshamilton/TikTok
@thenewmrshamilton/TikTok
@thenewmrshamilton/TikTok
@thenewmrshamilton/TikTok
@thenewmrshamilton/TikTok
@thenewmrshamilton/TikTok
Hamilton did not disappoint.
In a second video, she showed her children's photos from this year already framed and hung on the wall, starting with West looking adorably into the camera with his hands at his side, while Zuri struck her iconic pose.
You can see the video here:
Maybe more photographers should let children pick their poses, or offer a few fun suggestions to kids who are nervous or uncomfortable. There would have to be some rules, of course, since these photos are included in yearbooks, but it might make it more fun for everyone involved.
And instead of dreading picture day, parents could look forward to a photo that actually reflects their kids' personalities.