People Break Down Their Excuses For Not Calling Their Mother

I try to talk to my mom frequently. But it's never enough for her. But that's ok. I still have her.

Wow

"Caught her forging checks in my name."

madmax435

Unrecognizable...

"She has dementia and has forgotten how to use the phone. Unless an aide is in the room when I call, the phone will just ring and drive her crazy. I visit her in person instead even though sometimes she doesn't know who I am."

Alpacazappa

"The last thing my grandmother said to me before I became totally unrecognizable to her was, 'you’re awfully big to be so little.' Even though I was 22 at the time she remembered me as a little girl."

MeasuredByChopsticks

Never Again

"Last time I saw her she yelled at me to go live with my dad and when I actually started packing my things and leaving she yelled 'you don’t want to take care of your own mother' and proceeded to beat me and call the cops saying I’m the one who hit her even though I had cuts, marks, and bruises all over my face and neck."

"She never got in trouble and she did all this in front of my 3 year old sister. She also told me I would be dead if I ever came back. We haven’t spoke since and I don’t plan to ever speak to her again."

99_problems_bbt

Uninterested

"She doesn't take any interest in my life. She will call me to complain about my siblings and ask nothing about me."

sagicorn2791

"I'm similar, she calls to gripe about all her problems for an hour then goes so what's new with you, but at that point in emotionally drained and I have nothing to say. She doesn't really absorb anything I talk about either so it's a bit wasted?"

vansnagglepuss

Die Phone

"We both really hate talking on the phone! We stay in touch vie text etc and I'll go see her, and my dad, in a couple of weeks when I've got some time off work."

Alpaca_Tasty_Picnic

I feel like a lot of moms are waiting by a phone. And we're hanging up.

Bye

"She's a helicopter parent despite not being around when I was a child and leaving me to be raised by my sister."

Special-Latina

same old...

"The last time I spoke with her I got. To update her on what I'm doing for work (yet another crappy entry level job instead of a career she can be proud of). Criticism over a hobby that I picked up and a "'It has to at least make money' warning. Criticism over me and my family still being in the 'same old tiny apartment.'"

"Thanks mom. This is why it's difficult for me to relate to people who had a strong, healthy connection to their parents."

Vidableek

Over It

"I don't want to. If I wanted to backtrack on years of work on my own mental health, maybe I'd pick up the phone. But it turns out that when you're abusive, manipulative, and generally sh*tty to someone for 25 years, maybe they don't want to talk to you anymore."

a**hat123

She never has...

"Phones work 2 ways. I call a few times a year. She never has. I have asked her to come visit. She does not ask me to come up. I have visited her. She has never visited me. Relationships require both to put effort in. After years of only me putting in time and effort I have learned that I am not that important to her."

dogfishshrk

Empty Person

"She is a soulless human being, addled with terrible personality traits, and is addicted not only to specific drugs, but to being not sober. She is a kleptomaniac and will steal from people who are charitable to her. She’s an uncaring mother and an awful person."

"My sister texted me this morning to say she’s been missing for two weeks, and I’m not concerned, because that is completely normal for her. She’s been addicted to hard drugs for at least 20 years now, I don’t see how she’s still alive, and I wish she wasn’t, she’s draining my entire family of love and resources."

michaelthagray

LOLOL

"Nice try, mom."

omgzzwtf

"This literally made me laugh so hard, deserves top comment."

knighttmair

Good Moms

"My mom is a narcissist. It was ok for her to take long weekend trips for days leaving a 5 year old with a 13 year old, however I'm a bad mom for going out on my anniversary and leaving my child with a adult neighbor who I paid for 3 hours... because 'You're a mom now, you aren't allowed to go out.'"

"Helicopter as in going to the school and starting trouble to pretend like she cared over really petty crap. Over dress you for the weather to be seen as a good mom. Dress you up like a doll so no one would even question that she was abusive because in her head if the image is good and she's hovering around, the kid won't be believed."

ChineseChaiTea

her own words...

"Last time she was in front of me she told me that I am weird because I was born a few days after Tchernobyl and the radiations must have done something to my head (her own words). Mind you, she says I am weird because I am not emotional, I prefer remaining calm and not succumb to stress."

"Because I have some depression, social anxiety and some undiagnosed social difficulties, I'm an overthinker/overanalyzer. It surely has nothing to do with my father being an alcoholic and extremely violent to her and his children. Nothing at all."

"So, I will not call her because I know that talking about it will not help with anything. I just act busy since this month began. I'll have to call her one day. I'm not even upset. I just don't want to talk to her and throw away all those years of therapy. Fortunately, we live in different towns."

Zestyclose-Ad-5439

Not Ready

"She was extremely neglectful to me when I was kid and now that I'm an adult she tries to guilt trip me into seeing her and calling her. She wanted nothing to do with me as a kid/teenager and now she wants a relationship. Sorry, but I'm not ready yet."

The_truth_may_hurt

The Lineup...

"Went to her for the first time about being severely depressed and suicidal for the past ~10 years of my life. She made it completely about herself. I was crying in fetal position as a 25 year old man on her bedroom floor. She asked me something, but I was in an almost frozen state and couldn't think of speak."

"She got pissed off at me and started berating me for not answering when I was the one who went to her. Somehow I've kept her in my life. No I don't call first, but do not avoid contact. I'm not sure if that's a healthy move. My excuse is having a huge lineup of past events that show me just how selfish she is despite her words contradicting her actions."

PM_UR_BUTTHOL3

Victims

"She’s always the victim. She leads such a boring life that all she has to talk about is unimportant crap in the lives of others. She suffers from PTSD, and gets SSI, so she’s always broke. She can’t handle the slightest criticism."

clever80username

I tried that...

"Every phone call is three hours long and I do not ever have that much time to myself, let alone for another human. And no, the length of the phone call doesn’t decrease if I call more frequently, I tried that. Texting with her was great but she hated her smart phone so went back to a clam shell that makes it hard for her to text."

sebthelodge

Facades

"She's manipulative and controlling. I wish she was just like any other mom. We would've been a great team (dad's never around). I just want someone in my family to know me for me. But apparently that's not the case. So I shall keep up the facade."

livingonramen27

"Cut her off. We may not be able to choose our family but we can choose our friends. I surround myself with 'big brothers, adopted moms, loving fathers, encouraging sisters.' To me they are the family that I should have had and everyone deserves. The 'real' family was never that real."

Phrogme1

Last Straws

"She's an alcoholic and relapsed about a year or two ago and despite us getting her in a position to get proper help several times, she chose booze + moving in with random dudes over and over again. The last straw was her getting blackout drunk and passing out on a public sidewalk and then getting picked up by the cops."

"My sister took her to the ER after that and then uninvited her from her wedding and we all blocked her telling her to call us when she's sober. Hasn't called us, but did text me happy birthday ten days after my birthday. Last I heard she's working in a liquor store."

cranialgrainofsalt

For the Best

"I just got off the phone with her & my Dad about 5 minutes ago, so I figure they deserve a break."

justduett

Not enough time for sanity...

"Because I can't afford extra sessions with my therapist, and my mom won't consent to mediated conversations with my therapist because she thinks mental health professionals are in league with Satan. My mom has 4 children. 2 of us cut her out of our lives entirely. One of us decided to see what happened if he stopped calling her, and now they haven't spoken in 3 years."

"My half brother that she abandoned as a child still talks to her occasionally because she's somehow less awful than his father, and he's desperate to have a parent in some fashion, but their relationship is entirely superficial. Untreated mental illness can be pretty awful."

paladiumsteve

Not all relationships, including blood, are meant to be. But if you can and if it's healthy... call your mom.