Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

Dana Carvey Channels His Nuttiest John Bolton on Colbert—& It's Unsettlingly Amusing

Dana Carvey Channels His Nuttiest John Bolton on Colbert—& It's Unsettlingly Amusing
CBS Photo Archive/Getty Images

On Friday, March 23, President Trump appointed former United Nations ambassador John Bolton to replace H.R. McMaster as his National Security Advisor. The news that McMaster was going to be replaced didn't come as a surprise to many—he and the President had butted heads for quite some time, and in the wake of Hope Hicks' departure as Communications Director, Trump has been much less hesitant about shaking up the personnel at the White House. What DID surprise many was the appointment of Bolton, an obscure Bush-era diplomat with a reputation for aggressive tactics and threatening behaviors. Stephen Colbert thought the issue warranted some discussion with Bolton himself (as played by Dana Carvey).


Carvey's Bolton is as hilarious as it is terrifying.

In the clip, "Bolton" swings by the show to ease Colbert's fears, but quickly makes matters much worse. He threatens to chase Stephen down a hotel hallway flinging staplers at him, and also mentioned sending some "big fat tanks" into North Korea. Meanwhile, his mustache grew ever larger because it "gets a bit engorged when it smells a war coming on."

Bolton's mustache even weighed in on the performance:

But it turns out Carvey's impression is a little too close for comfort.

Bolton was actually blocked from his original U.N. appointment by Congress, who kept him away from the position after receiving a message from over 60 retired diplomats speaking against him. Though Bolton's professional career is plenty controversial (he once said that if the U.N. headquarters "lost ten stories, it wouldn't make a bit of difference"), his former colleagues major problem with him was one of character.

During his confirmation hearings, his mistreatment of underlings and embellishment of facts both became sticking points.

In 2005, TIME ran an article detailing some of Bolton's alleged incidents. Here's a particularly revealing excerpt:

Government sources tell TIME that during President Bush's first term, Bolton frequently tried to push the CIA to produce information to conform to—and confirm—his views. "Whenever his staff sent testimony, speeches over for clearance, often it was full of stuff which was not based on anything we could find," says a retired official familiar with the intelligence-clearance process. "So the notes that would go back to him were fairly extensive, saying the intelligence just didn't back up that line."

Those episodes, sources say, frequently involved statements Bolton wanted to make about the malign intentions and weapons capabilities of Cuba and North Korea. Two analysts—one at the State Department and the other at the CIA—told the committee they had run afoul of Bolton in 2002 after they warned that he was making assertions in a speech about Cuba's weapons programs that could not be backed up by U.S. intelligence. Bolton, they said, tried to have them removed from their jobs. Witnesses say that after one of the analysts, Christian Westermann, wrote an internal memo warning of Bolton's embellishments, he was summoned to Bolton's office and subjected to a finger-wagging tirade. Westermann's boss at the time, Carl W. Ford Jr., told the committee in a public hearing two weeks ago that he considered Bolton "a serial abuser" of underlings and "a quintessential kiss-up, kickdown sort of guy."

​Bolton eventually bypassed Congressional approval by filling a vacancy left by his predecessor.

Well, if things get bad, at least we'll always have this photoset of Dana Carvey in progressively larger mustaches to keep our spirits high!

H/T - Huffpost, TIME, CNN

More from Entertainment/celebrities

Jelly Roll
Kevin Winter/Getty Images for The Recording Academy

Grammy Winner Jelly Roll Called Out After Giving Bizarre Excuse To Avoid Reporter's Question About ICE

Country star Jelly Roll is facing criticism after he attempted to avoid a question from a reporter about ICE after Sunday's Grammy Awards by claiming he's just a "dumb redneck."

The singer—whose real name is Jason Bradley DeFord—earned three awards on Sunday, winning Best Country Duo/Group Performance with Shaboozey, Best Contemporary Christian Music Performance/Song with Brandon Lake, and Best Contemporary Country Album for his tenth studio album, Beautifully Broken.

Keep Reading Show less
Screenshot of Kayleigh McEnany discussing "Melania" film
Fox News

Kayleigh McEnany Raises Eyebrows With Dubious Story About Her Mom Watching 'Melania' At Packed Theater

Fox News host Kayleigh McEnany—who served as White House Press Secretary during the final stretch of the first Trump administration—had people raising their eyebrows after she claimed her mother saw the new documentary Melania at a lively Florida movie theater that was "standing room only."

Melania follows current First Lady Melania Trump in the 20 days leading up to President Donald Trump’s second inauguration following the 2024 presidential election. The film was directed by Brett Ratner, who was accused of sexual harassment and misconduct by at least six women.

Keep Reading Show less
Minneapolis anti-ICE protest
Roberto Schmidt/AFP via Getty Images

The City Of Minneapolis Just Got Nominated For A Nobel Peace Prize—And Everyone's Thinking The Same Thing

President Donald Trump isn't going to be happy to know that the editors of The Nation have nominated the city of Minneapolis and its residents for the 2026 Nobel Peace Prize, citing the city's response to Trump's immigration crackdown that has captured the nation's attention since the murders of Renée Nicole Good and Alex Pretti at the hands of ICE agents.

In a statement addressed to the Norwegian Nobel Committee, the editors noted that "while individuals and organizations have been granted this prize since its inception in 1901, no municipality has ever been recognized."

Keep Reading Show less
Woman with her arms crossed
Photo by ᕈ O W L Y on Unsplash

People Explain Which 'Small' Social Rules They Refuse To Ever Follow

Home, work, the library, other people's homes, the grocery store; no matter where we go, there are rules and expectations.

Perhaps most of these are reasonable enough to assume everyone will follow along and do them to make the setting comfortable for everyone.

Keep Reading Show less
Kat Dennings attends iHeartRadio Jingle Ball 2025 presented by Capital One.
Jesse Grant/Getty Images for iHeartRadio

MCU Fans Concerned After Kat Dennings Reveals That Marvel Has 'Scanned' Her Likeness

When you hear that you’re getting a “body scan,” you probably assume it’s tied to a medical procedure—not that your entire physical likeness is being quietly archived for potential future use in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

But that’s allegedly what happened to MCU star Kat Dennings, who casually dropped the revelation while addressing her status in Avengers: Doomsday.

Keep Reading Show less