Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

Dana Carvey Channels His Nuttiest John Bolton on Colbert—& It's Unsettlingly Amusing

Dana Carvey Channels His Nuttiest John Bolton on Colbert—& It's Unsettlingly Amusing
CBS Photo Archive/Getty Images

On Friday, March 23, President Trump appointed former United Nations ambassador John Bolton to replace H.R. McMaster as his National Security Advisor. The news that McMaster was going to be replaced didn't come as a surprise to many—he and the President had butted heads for quite some time, and in the wake of Hope Hicks' departure as Communications Director, Trump has been much less hesitant about shaking up the personnel at the White House. What DID surprise many was the appointment of Bolton, an obscure Bush-era diplomat with a reputation for aggressive tactics and threatening behaviors. Stephen Colbert thought the issue warranted some discussion with Bolton himself (as played by Dana Carvey).


Carvey's Bolton is as hilarious as it is terrifying.

In the clip, "Bolton" swings by the show to ease Colbert's fears, but quickly makes matters much worse. He threatens to chase Stephen down a hotel hallway flinging staplers at him, and also mentioned sending some "big fat tanks" into North Korea. Meanwhile, his mustache grew ever larger because it "gets a bit engorged when it smells a war coming on."

Bolton's mustache even weighed in on the performance:

But it turns out Carvey's impression is a little too close for comfort.

Bolton was actually blocked from his original U.N. appointment by Congress, who kept him away from the position after receiving a message from over 60 retired diplomats speaking against him. Though Bolton's professional career is plenty controversial (he once said that if the U.N. headquarters "lost ten stories, it wouldn't make a bit of difference"), his former colleagues major problem with him was one of character.

During his confirmation hearings, his mistreatment of underlings and embellishment of facts both became sticking points.

In 2005, TIME ran an article detailing some of Bolton's alleged incidents. Here's a particularly revealing excerpt:

Government sources tell TIME that during President Bush's first term, Bolton frequently tried to push the CIA to produce information to conform to—and confirm—his views. "Whenever his staff sent testimony, speeches over for clearance, often it was full of stuff which was not based on anything we could find," says a retired official familiar with the intelligence-clearance process. "So the notes that would go back to him were fairly extensive, saying the intelligence just didn't back up that line."

Those episodes, sources say, frequently involved statements Bolton wanted to make about the malign intentions and weapons capabilities of Cuba and North Korea. Two analysts—one at the State Department and the other at the CIA—told the committee they had run afoul of Bolton in 2002 after they warned that he was making assertions in a speech about Cuba's weapons programs that could not be backed up by U.S. intelligence. Bolton, they said, tried to have them removed from their jobs. Witnesses say that after one of the analysts, Christian Westermann, wrote an internal memo warning of Bolton's embellishments, he was summoned to Bolton's office and subjected to a finger-wagging tirade. Westermann's boss at the time, Carl W. Ford Jr., told the committee in a public hearing two weeks ago that he considered Bolton "a serial abuser" of underlings and "a quintessential kiss-up, kickdown sort of guy."

​Bolton eventually bypassed Congressional approval by filling a vacancy left by his predecessor.

Well, if things get bad, at least we'll always have this photoset of Dana Carvey in progressively larger mustaches to keep our spirits high!

H/T - Huffpost, TIME, CNN

More from Entertainment/celebrities

Screenshot of JD Vance; Donald Trump
@Acyn/X; Kevin Dietsch/Getty Images

JD Vance Just Said The Quiet Part Out Loud About What Trump Really 'Takes Seriously' As President—And Yep, That Tracks

In his announcement this week that the Trump administration will be withholding $1.3 billion in Medicaid payments from California due to alleged fraud, Vice President JD Vance had people raising their eyebrows after claiming that President Donald Trump "takes fraud seriously."

As part of his role overseeing anti-fraud efforts, Vance said the administration is targeting California because state officials are not taking Medicaid fraud seriously enough. Vance claimed both California and American taxpayers were being “defrauded” and alleged that some patients had been given unnecessary medications after fraudsters encouraged “false prescriptions” and improper treatment.

Keep Reading Show less
Screenshots from @itsgoobz's TikTok video
@itsgoobz/TikTok

Woman Goes Viral After Revealing How She Caught Her Husband Cheating Thanks To His iCloud Account

Cheating is an absolute dealbreaker in most relationships—but when you add three children to the mix, it escalates to a level of betrayal that there's really no coming back from.

It's even worse when the cheater does little to apologize for or even acknowledge what they have done.

Keep Reading Show less
Screenshots from @maggieeatsss's TikTok video
@maggieeatsss/TikTok

Mom Goes Viral After Confronting Her Son About His Bullying Behavior At School—And Parents Are Applauding

Parents might not want to think about it or talk about it, but at some point, their children are going to make some mistakes, and the true test of their parenting is how they respond in those moments.

So when TikToker @maggieeatsss found out that her son had been bullying a kid at school, she knew there was no time to waste.

Keep Reading Show less
North Carolina Mom Slams MAGA Congresswoman For Attacking Her 10-Year-Old Son And His Teacher In 'Horrific' Letter
FOX8 WGHP/YouTube; Anna Moneymaker/Getty Images

North Carolina Mom Slams MAGA Congresswoman For Attacking Her 10-Year-Old Son And His Teacher In 'Horrific' Letter

Greensboro, North Carolina, mother Emily Mango is upset with MAGA Republican Representative Virginia Foxx over a letter the North Carolina legislator sent to her 10-year-old son in response to a school assignment.

Mango shared that her son Christian, who is in the 4th grade, was tasked with a writing exercise. Students were to compose a persuasive essay on a topic of their choosing and send it to a changemaker.

Keep Reading Show less
Hayden Panettiere
On Purpose with Jay Shetty; Neutrogena

Hayden Panettiere Claims Neutrogena Fired Her After 10 Years For Speaking About Postpartum Depression—And Fans Are Appalled

Despite being in an industry that many people only dream of, Heroes and Bring It On star Hayden Panettiere hasn't had the best of luck.

With her memoir This Is Me: A Reckoning coming out soon, Panettiere has been opening up about her experiences with discrimination and abuse, this time on the On Purpose with Jay Shetty podcast, shedding light on one very popular skincare line.

Keep Reading Show less