People's Biggest Culture Shock Moments Moving From Cities To Small Towns

Moving to a quieter way of life can be a HUGE process.

During COVID, people fled big cities like New York and LA in droves, searching for a calmer way of life.

For some, it was the best decision they ever made, for others... they wept about their mistakes on TikTok.

There is a major system overhaul when you change your environment drastically.

I'm typing now from a beach in Florida, where a mere 2 years ago, I was bundled in layers of blankets in my freezing Jersey City abode.

I love both.

But I rarely leave the house.

So, who am I to judge? LOL.

Big cities? Small towns?

It's all a roll of the dice.

Redditor MrSocPsych wanted to hear about people's transitions from metropolitan living to the countryside, so they asked:

"People who moved from cities to small towns, what was the biggest culture shock?"

After Hours

"After 5 pm it’s effectively a ghost town. Nothing is open but one 24-hour gas station."

- liloldguy

"I live in a small town and this is so true. Especially after covid. Even places that were 24/7 since the beginning of time now close at like 9, at the latest. You also can't go by the hours on the website, because most places close earlier than that."

"Even the mines are starting to get rid of the night shift now."

- RedSquirrelFtw

Look Around

"Of course, it matters where you’ve moved, but when you enter a restaurant or bar, everyone turns to see who’s come in. At first it was off-putting then you realize they’re just looking to see if it’s someone they know. :) "

- The_Dark_Frog00

"I do it now too- turn to look and see if it’s someone I know. A good chance that it is. I’ve also been in situations where the person I was with is talking some serious smack about someone else in the town and turned around and saw that person standing there."

"It’s gotten to the point where if you want to just grab a cup of coffee with a good friend to talk about life and personal stuff you need to whisper or keep it to small talk because if anyone you know hears anything it takes about a week and a very bad game of telephone before way too many people know your business!! I hate it."

- IzzyFromBKLN

Hey Cousin

"The dating pool is ankle-deep. Someone has to break up, and we all move over one."

- dogchowtoastedcheese

"In my village back home, I was afraid to date for fear of accidentally hooking up with a relative."

the lady and the tramp kiss GIF by HULUGiphy

Hailey

"Grocery store employees asked me how my dog, Hailey, was doing."

- lisavfr

"I actually experienced this in a local grocery store in a city. I LOVED that grocery store. So many conversations between checkout lanes about the best way to prepare whatever dish someone was making that night. Customers and employees always asking after each other's families."

"So much kindness, connection, and community there. When that store went out of business, the employees dispersed in businesses across the metro area. Whenever we'd run into one in another business, we'd ask after family and other employees to catch up on folks' wellbeing. I miss that place."

- BryonyVaughn

Walk About

"The only store within walkable distance only sells liquor, snacks, and lottery tickets."

- Strict-Fig-5956

"Zoning in the US (and Canada) sucks a** and is the reason for this. Recently been looking at where to move to and seeing huge sections of just houses as far as the eye can see (at least a mile long in all directions) because of the crapy zoning laws. And just stores and huge empty parking lots in another section of the city."

"So you need to be able to drive everywhere (which is a waste of gas and time) in order to get anything because public transportation is also garbage in most places."

"Seeing places in Europe and other countries where you can walk or bicycle to multiple stores all over seems a lot nicer."

- iamfuturetrunks

Planning

"I lived in Vermont for a time and small-town life required a lot more planning. The grocery store was a 45-minute drive, so if you went once a week and forgot something you did without it. Four-wheel drive was a must. The people were more friendly and tolerant than I expected. Like the big city, no one really gave a s**t what other people did. People in the suburbs seem a lot more conformist than people in the city or in rural areas."

- BackInNJAgain

The Infamy

"Everyone, and I mean everyone, knows all of your business."

- Linux4ever_Leo

"Small caveat, everyone thinks they know all of your business, which may be worse."

Sometimes they actually do know your business, it's a small area, and word travels, but often they think they know and what they know is either a rumor, something true but maybe out of context, and has gone through the game of telephone like a dozen times, etc."

"My family is fairly infamous in my hometown (legal issues, drug abuse, even the more traditionally normal folks are characters), and the s**t I've heard from folks that they totally believe is wild."

- SadFeed63

Can't Hide

"Loss of anonymity. Couldn’t go anywhere without running into people I knew."

- polocanyolo

"I live in a city of a million people and see folks I know all the damn time. My girlfriend and I have a few bars we secret ourselves away to when we don't want to run into people and just have a night with each other."

"Couldn't imagine being in a small town and literally knowing everyone."

- disisathrowaway

So Young

"Not judging, but the high percentage of very young parents (e.g. first kid at 18, 19, 20)."

- flitterbug78

"Yup, I have family that live in a small town about an hour outside Fresno CA, and it’s very normal there. Everyone there met their spouse in high school and have stayed together since. Most of my cousins were married by 18, and had children before they were 21."

- Deadbeat699

The Lion King Family GIF by Walt Disney StudiosGiphy

Chaos

"How life can just be still and quiet and the reverse cultural shock of returning to any city and dealing with the chaos."

- Apprehensive_Put6277

"I grew up in a small town in Jersey. My dad works a lot in Philly, and one of the younger guys who works for them was saying how much he loves living in the city, how there's always something happening etc, etc. After the 4th of July a couple of years ago he came in looking rough. "

"Told my dad he barely slept with all the noise. My dad told him 'See, that's why my small town is great. If I want all the excitement I can travel into the city, but after I can go back home to my quiet little town and just be surrounded by peace and quiet.'"

"My wife is originally from Philly and still has family there. We occasionally go into the city to visit them, and I HATE it. So many people and cars and sounds. If I were to walk out my front door right now, I'd hear nothing. Maybe a car going down the county road that down the street."

- Dr_DavyJones

Look Away

"People say hi to you on the sidewalk. The first time it happened, I looked around behind me, thinking it was someone else, but there was only me. So I said, 'I’m sorry, do I know you? and he was like... no? I was just being friendly,' and I felt SO. BAD. Because the city I grew up in you did NOT make eye contact with strangers, let alone say anything to them."

- feryoooday

The Other Side Hello GIFGiphy

Townies

"I actually grew up rural, then lived in the city for a while, then went back to rural."

"The thing that really struck me was how lots of townies think they have a lot of life experience when they don't. I suppose it's easy to think you've seen s**t when you've never been anywhere else to compare."

"I say this came as a shock because I never really noticed it before I spent some productive years in the city."

- reddittheguy

Freedom

"We live in the town of Sonoma in California after living in Boston and San Francisco."

"What's interesting is that in a small town, we've noticed that everybody went to grade school in the high school together. The roots run deep. They're super nice to us, it's almost like a farm community, but we're always going to be outsiders."

"Another thing I noticed is that when we throw parties, my wife and I are somewhat uninhibited, and we will sing karaoke or something. They haven't been socialized the same way we have with receptions, sales calls, and business trips, etc. At parties, you can see them kind of close off when they're confronted with socializing with people they don't know. They just don't have that gear."

- mmaine9339

Failures

"Grew up outside of Dallas, spent my first 4 years out of college as a field engineer. Holy f**k. The towns I was sent to barely qualify as villages. Less than 1000 people, dying infrastructure, no signs of investment."

"Maybe a gas station and corner store if they are lucky, a coffee shop that’s only open until 3 pm wouldn’t be shocking."

"You meet people who have never left the state they were born in, and a lot of times they don’t know what exists more than a 4-hour drive away."

"It makes you wonder where our education system failed and why society doesn’t care."

- sardoodledom_autism

Oklahoma

"Small town in Oklahoma as a black man by myself. I was in a bar and was actually told 'You know, you just changed my opinion about black people.' It was by an older white guy who hadn’t seen a black person in person since Vietnam."

- Kitten-Blossom

Mad Get Out GIF by Get Out MovieGiphy

I've never lived in quite so small of a town as some of these stories.

Some of these places are a bit much.

If I knew everybody and everybody knew me?

I'd run.

That's just horror movie nonsense.

To each their own.