We've all heard the sayings, "You cannot pour from an empty cup," and "You have to put your own safety mask on first before you can help others with theirs." While these sentiments are true in all walks of life, they might be especially true for mothers, even if it might feel counterintuitive to a loving mom.
While there are certainly exceptions, it's generally acknowledged that mothers carry most of the emotional and mental loads of their homes and raising their children, from meal-planning to cleaning to navigating doctors' appointments, and that's not including the initial journey through pregnancy and childbirth.
It's easy for mothers to slip into the role of "mother" or "#momlife" or "provider" when they're trying to create an amazing, loving, and memorable childhood for their children, but in all of their efforts, it's just as easy for them to lose themselves and everything they loved and identified with before becoming a mom.
TikToker Mary Wilson points out in a viral video her "hot take" that women should be "baddies first and moms second."
"Women who are baddies first and mothers second are actually the best moms."
"Contrary to popular belief, your kids want you to be a baddie first, too, and a mom second."
"Why? Because moms who feel good about themselves are better mothers. When you take care of yourself first, you're better able to take care of your kids."
"A happy mother is a good mother. And kids love to see their mothers happy."
Wilson then gave examples of mothers taking care of themselves, like getting their hair and nails done, exercising, eating well, having a hobby, and getting a good education.
You can watch the video here:
@theemarywilson Baddie 1st, mom 2nd #momlife #momsoftiktok #motherhood #mothersday
Fellow TikTokers agreed with this sentiment and encouraged moms to practice self-love.
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Others understood where Wilson was coming from and admitted to needing the reminder.
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While it can be really hard for moms to balance it all, to the point when they might wonder where they'll find the time to take care of themselves in these ways, it's important that they show themselves the kind of love that they want to show their children.
By caring for themselves, they're preparing themselves to be able to fully care for their kids, and honestly, if they came from a toxic household growing up, they might help to heal their inner child, too.