Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

People Share Their Absolute Favorite Euphemisms For A Dumb Person

We're all not geniuses.

Everybody has varying degrees of knowledge and brain power.

And that is ok.

Though some of us are really lacking in any sense and every once and awhile people like to sugarcoat that fact when they call us out.

"Bless your heart."

That's a big one in the South. Means... "I like you, but Lord are you missing marbles."


Redditor MrMadJoker wanted to know the most creative ways to describe people who lack a few IQ points.

They asked:

"What's your favorite euphemism for a dumb person?"

"You're missing a few pieces of the puzzle."

Said to me from my Geometry teacher. Now I know what he meant.

And... he was right.

Cents

"I could give them a penny for their thoughts and I'd get change back."

hopefulsite126

tyler labine penny GIF by HULUGiphy

The Cells

"He's got 2 brain cells left, and they're fighting for 3rd place."

Striking_Yoghurt_690

"One more neuron and he'd have a synapse."

TxPunsterer

Bad Wheel

"The wheel is spinning but the hamster's dead."

ofsquire

"My old english teacher used to say 'I can smell the hamster burning.'"

cardew-vascular

"Bruh how u gonna do hamsters like that. Im dead 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣"

Mulberry0

YOU

"You're the reason we have warning labels."

ofsquire

"My bosses comment about my non-too bright coworker 'you can’t get mad at her- she’s the reason shampoo has directions and she probably still f**ked it up…'”

Smoopiebear

"You see? Because of me, they have a warning label."

WantToBeBetterAtSex

Hello?

“The lights are on but no one’s home.”

Lovemesomecarrots

season 1 s1 GIF by Dream Corp LLCGiphy

Ok... some of this is some good comedy.

Or Puppet...

"I'm an American, but I love when British folks call people Muppets. For a long time Europe has led the way in insult innovation, and I think it's time we caught up."

JonSnow31391

The Muppet Show Muppets GIFGiphy

Vanilla?

"Less useful than a chocolate teapot."

Pokeybumfun

"My Physics teacher used to say 'more pointless than a chocolate fireguard' whenever we had pencils that were too blunt for graph drawing hahaha."

ElegantEagle13

"German version of that is 'dumber than a piece of bread.'"

00192737292

I Like Turkey

"Shouldn't be left in charge of a ham sandwich."

accomplished_loaf

"I had a college professor who had met Gaddafi (God have mercy on him), the late dictator of Libya, and his impression was 'it would've been a shame to put that lunatic in charge of 10 chickens.'"

thefuzzybunny1

"Lol... for some reason this reminds me of Gordon Ramsay saying on Kitchen Nightmares that he wouldn’t trust a guy to run his bath, let alone his restaurant 😅."

thxitsthedepression

No Top Floor

"Your elevator doesn't go to the top floor. You're as sharp as a marble. You'd be stuck for an answer at hello (that's from Classy Freddie Blassie you pencil necked geeks)."

ferox965

"People tell me my elevator doesn't go the whole way to the top floor but I don't even HAVE an elevator."

"People tell me that too! We should go buy one~"

one_angry_custodian

Space

"My grandpa says: 'A lot of space between them ears.' Which is my absolute favorite, because a lot of people don't get it at first and just enforces the meaning."

Blobfish_Blues

Excited Aww GIF by TikTokGiphy

Not all of us are going to break IQ records. That's ok. But these descriptions are funny.

Want to "know" more?

Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.

Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.

More from Trending/best-of-reddit

Chris Evans; Snoop Dogg
Theo Wargo / Staff/Getty Images; Prince Williams / Contributor/Getty Images

Chris Evans' Fiery Defense Of 'Lightyear' Resurfaces After Snoop Dogg Says He's 'Scared' Of LGBTQ+ Representation

Disney and Pixar's 2022 Lightyear proved to be one of the more controversial releases from the house of mouse.

The movie featured a same-sex couple, as well as a very brief kiss between them, resulting in homophobes across the country calling for boycotts of the film

Keep ReadingShow less
James Yokeley
Wilmington Police Department

GOP North Carolina Elections Official Arrested For Allegedly Drugging Granddaughter's And Her Friend's Ice Cream

A North Carolina Republican election official arrested and charged with drugging two girls' ice creams has resigned from his prominent appointed position in the state's GOP. Initial information released by the police identified the girls Yokeley tried to drug as his granddaughters.

Wilmington Police Department officials identified the girls as his step-granddaughter and her friend on Friday.

Keep ReadingShow less
Gloria Gaynor
Bryan Bedder/Getty Images for Lifetime

New Revelation Seemingly Explains Why Trump Picked Gloria Gaynor As Kennedy Center Honoree

According to Federal Election Commission records reviewed by MeidasTouch, singer Gloria Gaynor—best known for the 1978 hit “I Will Survive” that has long been embraced by the LGBTQ+ community—has donated thousands of dollars to Republicans in recent years, a decision that could explain why President Donald Trump recently named her as a Kennedy Center Honors recipient.

In 2023 and 2024 alone, Gaynor contributed nearly $22,000 to multiple conservative and MAGA-affiliated names and groups.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshots of Jesse Watters and Brian Kilmeade (left and right); Melania Trump (center)
Fox News; Kayla Bartkowski/Getty Images

Fox News Hosts Slammed After Gushing Over Melania While Rating Former First Ladies' Attractiveness

Fox News hosts Jesse Watters and Brian Kilmeade were criticized after going on a bizarre tangent rating the attractiveness of other former first ladies while discussing the possibility of Vanity Fair putting First Lady Melania Trump on their cover.

The topic came up after the fashion magazine's new global editorial director, Mark Guiducci, floated the possibility of putting Trump on the cover, which led to angry pushback from Vanity Fair staffers.

Keep ReadingShow less
Mid-section shot of a naked couple kissing in a shower.
Photo by We-Vibe Toys on Unsplash

People Reveal What Happened After A Parent Walked In On Them Having Sex

Having anyone walk in on you while you're getting on with a partner can be mortifying.

But having your parents walk in can be earth-shattering.

Keep ReadingShow less