No 'but.'
Seriously. Just don't say it. "I'm not a homphobe-" and stop. There doesn't, and shouldn't, be anything after those words. Anyone who keep talking is no ally to anyone in the LGBTQ+ community. These stories are prime example of how.
Reddit user, u/ithriveintoxicity, wanted to hear about:
LGBT+ members of Reddit, What is your worst "I'm not a homophobe but" story?
Toss The Dad Out. Get A New Dad.
Coworker said "I have nothing against gay people but the worst thing that could happen to me is if my son came out as gay".
There are so many terrible things that could happen to your child, but you're worried about him being gay? I honestly feel sad for this child.
Gotta Advance That Plot Somehow
This definitely could be worse, but it's still incredibly annoying. When someone says "I think it's fine that shows have gay characters, but I hate it when they have it for no reason." Ah yes, because we all know that the universe made me a lesbian simply for character development.
Going To Make Those Neighborhood BBQs Really Awkward
Had a conversation with some ex-neighbours (straight couple, nice people) who both studied to become teachers, we were all the same age, around 24 back then. We often met for drinks and it was fun, at some point I mentioned something that gave away I was gay (something like "I texted with a guy" or something) and I actually assumed they knew, but the girl asked "oh you're gay?" and she didn't seem shocked just curious.
And it wasn't a big deal and we kept talking and they seemed very cool and suddenly she asked "but when did you decide to become gay?" and I thought she was joking. But she was dead serious. I tried to explain that that's not really a thing but she insisted that it's a choice and reversible. I was kinda in shock and we stopped hanging out then. Was weird.
Asked That Question In Front Of Everyone? Yeesh...
During orientation week at university we had a whole talk on being accepting of the LGBT+ community. Someone put up their hand and said that they weren't homophobic but confidently believed that God would never put someone in the wrong body and argued that transgender people are something discussed but aren't in fact present in every day society.
The lady holding the talk calmly said, "Well I was born with a penis and would you have known unless I told you? Am I some mystical being? Do I appear not well adapted to society?"
You could see this man with his hardcore outdated, conservative mentality had quite a shock to the system.
How Do You Say Something Like This With Your Kids Around?
When there were last presidential elections in Finland we had a gay candidate. My mother once said "I'm not a homophobe but I will move to Sweden if (the gay canditate) gets elected. I just can't live in a country where the first lady would be a man"
(fun facts both me and my other brothers is gay)
Eye Opening, Indeed.
My (ex)best friend and I were watching some video and there was this really effeminate guy in it.
He says to me, "God, don't you just wanna punch that guy in the face?"
So I say, "Why?"
He says, "Because he's so f-cking gay."
I say, "Dan, did you forget that I'm gay?"
He says, "No, I don't care that you're gay. You're one of the good ones."
That was an eye opening day in several ways.
Homophobes Suck Big Time
My "psychology" teacher in high school (mostly she just showed us the movie Sibyll) was told that I was an out lesbian and said, totally seriously, "huh. I thought only ugly girls went lesbian." She said this to my high school English teacher who was the only out gay faculty member at the time. He told me later and we had a laugh about how much homophobes suck
That's Not...No, That's Not How That Works.
In the dorm my freshman year of college, one of my floormates came out to a group of us as bi. Another woman, a self proclaimed "gold star" lesbian, told her she can't be bi because bi women don't exist. When asked to explain, she said, "Bi women are just s*uts who haven't found the right d-ck to satisfy them." And then later defended herself to the RA by saying she can't be homophobic since she's a lesbian... yeaaah.
Toss The Mom Out. Get A New Mom.
My mother told me "I accept you and all, but sin is sin. So, you being gay is the same as you murdering people and I just can't associate with that."
Ok. Thanks mom lol.
You Settled In? Strap In.
I got a "haha it's ok if you're gay as long as you don't hit on me like I'm not homophobic it's just weird" from my coworker where the girl got convinced I was in love with her and started being really annoying about it and was gossiping about it behind my back to our coworkers about how obvious I was about being in love with her and how I stared at her all the time and was being creepy.
This was total bullsh-t, I barely paid attention to her in general, especially after the whole "don't hit on me" thing. Our coworkers would tell her she was being an a-- and I wasn't into her, and one eventually told me what she'd been saying, and so I started scheduling my shifts so I wouldn't have to work with her.
She changed the narrative so that it was a "oh now she's obviously heartbroken that I don't feel the same way and is avoiding me" and one day when I was working a shift with her (I had picked up a shift for another coworker so they could go to a friend's birthday party) before we opened, I overheard her telling the girl at take out that she wasn't looking forward to having to work with me and get ogled.
I finally snapped and told her in front of half the staff to cut it out, because I wasn't and had never been into her. I mentioned she wasn't my type anyways and thought that was the end of it, but she accused me of lying and said I was obsessed with her, so I told her if anyone was obsessed, it was her because I got a text from a coworker nearly daily telling me what she'd said about me.
She later tried telling my manager that I was discriminating against her for being heterosexual. It was a mess.
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