Some sexual encounters you remember for life for the wrong reason.
That's why people should come with warning labels.
It's ok to have to be taught a bit or learn a little more.
But most of the people who need the lessons seem to be the most oblivious.
That's why I've given up and embraced celibacy.
Mama is too tired to teach.
Redditor XposeLLC wanted to hear about the times people had to end sexy time with a certain partner, so they asked:
"What’s the pettiest reason you stopped sleeping with someone?"
RUDE!
"She would enter the metro before the people got out."
- IloveponiesbutnotMLP
"Just like people who enter the elevator before letting others out."
- DrooDrawDrawn
The Amazing Race Canada Tarc GIF by CTVGiphy
Yuckie!
"I didn't like the smell of her hairspray. In fairness, this was in the late '80s when hairspray ruled the world."
- yakfsh1
"Oh man, I totally get this! I was a kid at the time, but I remember sometimes I’d be near a teenage girl (at the mall, or a girl who lived on my street) who would be very attractive but had this TOXIC hairspray smell that actually irritated my nose/sinuses. I was really young, so I just assumed it was a normal 'girls are yukie' thing, but reading your comment was like a time warp for me!"
- blue-wave
Bless your heart...
"He was VERY dumb, and it gave me a guilty conscience. It was almost like I was taking advantage of him or something. I wasn’t, he was just THAT stupid."
- Barfignugen
"Not sleeping with, but I started to date this dude over the summer, and when he visited, we made out a lot and then I realized holy crap this feels wrong. It almost felt like I was taking advantage of him. I’m 18, and he was 20, but I swear he was not a day over 14 in his mannerisms and just everything. It was awful."
- Snakes_and_Rakes
Green
"Her breath. I can deal with normal bad breath. This was not normal bad breath. It almost seemed like a reaction to something, like she was taking a new medicine or something, and horrific breath was a side effect. I could see in her mouth while she was talking one night, and I swear the back of her tongue was green."
- whitemanwhocantjump
Geography
"She didn't know Hawaii was a state."
- ScreamingNinja
"Mine didn’t know the number of United States. Maybe same person."
- txlady100
Oh No Wow GIF by The Great British Bake OffGiphy
Crickets
"Gave the worst bridesmaid speech in the world, never looked at her the same way again. Well..she pulled the folded up paper with the speech out of her bra, spent the first half roasting the bride, revealed that when the bride met the groom she said 'Oh no way would I ever marry him,' proceeded to lead into saying the bride was never choosy about the people the she slept with anyways, then tried to make a bunch of bad jokes to save the day, none of which hit."
"Quite literally crickets the entire speech. Bride didn’t smile once, then proceeded to wipe tears away by the end. Then I had to pretend things were all good the rest of the night - was just hoping the whole place would set on fire during the speech so I could run out."
- sexualpeelin
Shut Up!
"When we were having sex anytime she started to feel good she didn't moan. Instead she did this yell that would rise a little then start to crack. It sounded painful and was very grating on the ears. Not to mention she sounded hella distressed like she was being murdered. Couldn't keep it up."
- Master_Thief_789
Clean-up, Aisle 2
"She kept leaving half-drunk cups of coffee around my house."
- Euphoric_Surprise776
"My wife does this."
"I keep falling for it too, stupidly assuming that all of the dirty dishes are located around the kitchen so I fill the dishwasher and turn it on. Then I see a cup in the living room, one in the bedroom, one on the outside table, sometimes one just sitting on the ground in the garden."
"But if that's the worst thing I've got going on in my life then I ain't got no problems."
- BatmansShoelaces
MOVES
"When we hooked up, his 'moves' were comparable to a Chihuahua. Just, short, quick, rapid movements while holding on for dear life."
"Haven't experienced this during sex before, but in a similar vein with kissing. I met a guy at a club and was dancing with him. The conversation was great and I gave my friend the 'thumbs up,' but then he kissed me... It was like a snake tongue darting in and out of my mouth in rapid succession. My thumbs up behind his back immediately became a thumbs down, and my friend quickly snatched me away, LOL."
- tacoslave420
The Rules
"I knew he played Sudoku, which is honestly a plus, but then I learned he didn’t understand it. He would just fill in random numbers and 'try to make it work.' When I tried to explain the rules, he said it was too complicated and he preferred his own way of playing."
- DaintyBadass
"This cracked me up. It’s like on one hand, he was having fun but on the other… Imagine playing a game where it’s like accepted that there’s a less than 1% chance of you solving it and just being ~fine~ with that."
- jady115
Puff Away
"She kept telling me how everything happening in her life was because she was a Hufflepuff."
- Nibblefritz
"I think my stepdad thinks every Harry Potter fan is like this, treating the houses like zodiac signs. My fiancée is a Hufflepuff but doesn't frame her life around it, of course."
- mathemusician96
Harry Potter GIFGiphy
Home
"Happened to a friend of mine, she was dating a guy for a couple of months, 30s still living at home, parents were older but were independent. A sister close to his age also lived at home."
"He would come over to her place, have sex but would never sleep over. Was kind or serious, and introduced her to his parents."
"Leading up to Christmas/New Years, she wanted to make plans to go away for New Years, he said ok."
"But he stalled booking, they ended up having a fight, and he finally confessed he could never go away with her because he could never leave his parents, not even overnight."
- karenskygreen
Get your own...
"She said she didn’t want a drink when ordering at Subway, then drank most of mine and asked if she could refill it for herself to go."
- Tmunk16
"My husband does this. I just buy a larger size and expect him to eat it. He does."
- PurinMeow
"I try to stay cool when a woman doesn't want fries or whatever and starts eating mine, but I'm absolutely fuming on the inside. It's always me paying. I've offered to get you anything you want, but what you want is on my plate. Grrrr.
- JunkmanJim
Oh Gosh!
"I had a huge crush on him for years. He was gorgeous and pretty shy. Tall and thin with beautiful long hair. He even did some modeling. Well, I finally got to sleep with him, but when he finished, he said, 'Oh gosh,' in a voice that sounded just like Mickey Mouse. I could tell it was involuntary, and it just killed that crush I had on him. The sex was pretty bad, too, but I was trying to convince myself I could work around that and teach him. But the 'oh gosh' was the final nail."
- littletrashpanda77
Never! Forget!
"She sat on a pair of sunglasses I'd had for like 5 years, then laughed about it."
"It's been nearly 20 years, and I'm still mad about it."
- GoliathBoneSnake
Angry Inside Out GIF by Disney PixarGiphy
If someone destroys my property and doesn't apologize... I'm calling the police.
Sunglasses are expensive.
Should've sent an invoice.
Some of these stories are just an ad for celibate living.
Do you have any stories to add? Let us know in the comments.
@WhiteHouse/X
