As parents, we often will do whatever we can to ensure that our children succeed and are not taken advantage of.
But sometimes once they're old enough to start making decisions for themselves, we overstep boundaries to enforce what we think is right.
This is what one father, Reddit user, "AITAthrowaway3201," did.
When he finally had enough of watching his daughter offer tutoring services to her high school peers for what he thought was too little money, he took action, though probably not the right kind. He wrote into the "Am I the A$$hole?" subReddit, explaining the situation with his daughter.
A tutoring arrangement was set up by his daughter.
"I and my wife raised a very smart and beautiful daughter (currently 16). She always tops class and is even tutoring 4 of her classmates for 2 hours every weekend (except for Friday). She also voluntarily helps strangers on social media."
But dad isn't happy with the arrangement.
"I am very proud of her but she is extremely underpaid. Her 4 students scores in math and chemistry raised drastically because of her and I really believe she deserves to get paid more. She is currently only getting $10 per session."
Feeling like he had enough, he took action.
"Today I called 1 of her students and told her that starting from this week, the sessions will be raised to $50 and to tell the others. She apologized and cancelled the session for this week."
His daughter was upset, which led to an argument.
"A few hours later my daughter came to me and asked why I did this. I told her she is a great teacher and deserves to be paid much more for this and that she needs to stop being so kind or else people will end up using her."
"She told me that's none of my business and that I should keep these 'selfish ideas' to myself so I took the laptop I bought her and told her if she wants to continue teaching them she should buy her own. I am not allowing her to waste her time like that and told her to go to the room and think better about this."
Though he claimed to have good intentions, he was the only one who felt so.
"My wife however gave the laptop back to her because she believes my daughter did nothing wrong."
"I love my daughter with all my heart and it hurts me to see how she's getting used and how she is wasting her time. She is extremely intelligent and can do much better than this."
"I continued this conversation separately with my wife but my wife also thinks my views are selfish. I honestly don't think they are. What do you guys think?"
Reddit was quick to push back against the father's actions.
Redditors felt he was not valuing the skills his daughter was gaining as a tutor nor taking his daughter's feelings into account.
"This is what I came here to say. In my line of work you need to charge next to nothing to work up a foundation of clients before you can raise your price, otherwise no one will know who you are and not want to pay the same amount as someone who has a lot more reviews."
"Plus she wasn't working for free, just a bit under what she probably should. She's 16 FFS, it's not like she has bills to pay so why does she need to charge so f**king much to sit and explain math to her peers. Yes I understand getting paid for your work, and I agree. But at 16 she shouldn't be concerned about 'making enough money'." - Coco_Coa
"Many people volunteer tutor for exactly this purpose. Even if she were doing it for free, she's getting quite a bit of concrete benefit from doing it."
"It's also very possible that she genuinely likes the people she tutors, knows that they wouldn't be able to afford a higher price but gets so much enjoyment out of tutoring these specific people that she's decided that it's worth it."
"She may also feel like she doesn't want the added pressure she would feel if she was charging more, and likes having a more relaxed attitude from people who know that she's doing them a bit of a favour, too."
"And frankly, if he should be watching out for anyone using his daughter he should look for the person who went behind her back to tank a working relationship she had with a paying client without consulting her." - TheLoveliestKaren
"Also, regardless of how much money she's making, having this tutoring experience could be really beneficial on college applications (or job applications)!" - 3plantsonthewall
"YTA. She wasn't just tutoring her classmates, she was also spending time and socialising with peers."
"But even if not - you asked for 5 times what she got paid without even consulting her first. Gosh, what an AH you are!" - NoPracticalAttitude
After receiving all of this feedback, hopefully the father will take what he has learned and apply it.
If he can't, maybe hid daughter can tutor him.
The book Boundaries with Teens: When to Say Yes, How to Say No is available here.
@IrnaEnglish/X
