Pay attention! The signs are there! You just have to follow them. When people show you who they are at hello, just believe it. People are always slightly off guard in the beginning, they're checking out the scene so it's the best chance to catch them as their true self... before they figure out how to dupe you. Just go with the gut feeling.
One Redditor wanted to know what are the biggest signs we might be missing when finding new people by asking...
What's a huge red flag when meeting new people?
Rubbish...
"Leaving their rubbish on restaurant tables or cinemas floors, being mean to their friends, being on their phone the whole time or constantly pushing their opinions onto you." Reddit
"qualities."
Giphy"They are proud calling themselves jerks, two-faced and other very questionable "qualities." AlertWriter
"I was 21 when I started dating my ex husband. He proudly called himself an fool all the time, but he was always sweet with me so I never believed it. Turns out he really was an fool and I realized that if someone defines themselves negatively, you should probably believe them." coffeetish
Hold on, he's a man of culture.
"I once met a girl who told me she'd stabbed her ex partner and didn't believe in human rights; all within about 5 mins." TheMeowMeowMachine
Hold on, he's a man of culture."
"He's just throwing in a little of the good stuff before he unloads on her." weirdgroovynerd
Crap talk.
"They immediately talk crap about a stranger." Tylermcd93
"I went to a meet up recently and got some drinks with the people after. One guy gave me a bad vibe. He seemed like he had a really low tolerance for other people messing up and being a little awkward. He was like, "yeah I was a little bit nervous about going to the meet up but then I realized that there are some really weird people and there's no reason to be nervous." Just sat wrong with me because I'm kind of awkward and just want to meet new people."
"The last straw was when we were playing pool at the bar and this one girl had something wrong with her voice and couldn't talk very loud so he actually asked her if "that's how her voice always was or there's something wrong with it" What an idiot. He invited me to watch football with him the next day lol. I didn't respond." AltrdFate
Selling You Life....
"If they start talking about their MLM (multi level marketing) scheme. They see you as a prospect not a friend." AdamMKEAdamMKE
"I'm not selling something, I'm offering you an opportunity to better yourself." snazzle-bedazzle
So Dirty...
Giphy"If you you meet them and they're ranting and raving about their mess of a girlfriend, their backstabbing friends, and how the whole world is doing them dirty."
"Sure, they might be having a bad day and are venting but in my experience, people who openly and eagerly vent that stuff to strangers in public are usually much more at fault than they care to let on and cause a lot of drama." FancyStegosaurus
Everyone else is just AWFUL.
Giphy"You barely know them but suddenly you are their best friend. Everyone else is just AWFUL. You are so special and awesome. Especially at listening to their (many) problems. Because you are so empathetic and smart and insightful.... Don't run. Sprint." Whaleballoon
Stay Away...
- "When small talk becomes that person following you around. I had a more recent experience with this, but ignored the warnings mostly because of"
- "Excessive guilt tripping. There's absolutely nothing wrong about talking about a rough home life, but when you bring it up every five minutes, it feels like you're fishing for compliments/begging for attention."
- "They pry you away from others. I ran into my gf at a cross country meet and couldn't maintain a conversation for more than five minutes without this person finding a way to get me to leave her"
"I don't care what you have to do, stay away from these people." seirfemdeef
Something's Off....
"Feeling worse after meeting them than you did before. Sometimes the person just seems off, but you can't put a finger on what exactly. Over time, you realize that your gut instinct was correct." DeathSpiral321
"Oh gosh, NO!"
Giphy"Have you ever wanted to be your own boss? Do you want to earn some extra income?" L00katTheAwwL00katTheAww
"Reminds me of a conversation I had on a bus recently."
"Are you interested in being your own boss and running your own business?"
"Oh gosh, NO!"
"The look of confusion on his face was priceless. I don't like being in charge; too much pressure that I'll mess it up for other people." Cometstarlight
Me. Me. ME!
"When everything is about them." contra11
"I have a coworker like this. Will dump all this personal information about herself and then just walk away." BoilEmMashEmBoilEm
Dumped.
"If they make plans with you and the cancel later because they got a better offer." brokendowndryer
"I dumped a friend of 10 years for constantly pulling crap like this. It really crappy to always feel like you aren't good enough. She ended up getting mad at me for not bringing it up sooner.. all the more reason to cut ties." mossattacks
Storyteller.
"Always look out for the two-sheds: those people who can't go for five minutes without one-upping someone else. Not gentlemanly empathizing and sharing their experiences, but taking the whole "that's nothing; listen to my story" route." InkMage94
Nothing to Say.
Giphy"When a guy has absolutely nothing to say other than overly romantic/sexual stuff, or your possible future together, right after meeting. It's creepy and you don't even get to know each other better cause there's no conversation happening." Promptographer
Mistakes happen.
"Gets angry over the smallest thing. The cashier shorted you a dollar when giving change? Mistakes happen. Doesn't mean he/she was trying to scam you." i_am_a_goat_baa
The Guy at Work...
"A guy at work always tells new people how much he hates being married. Apparently loves his wife but hates being married."
"Then goes on to say she doesn't let him drink because he "becomes a nightmare to be with" - pretty sure he drank in excess on a regular basis - and that she will divorce him if she catches him."
"The dude still drinks and drives home to his wife. He keeps a toothbrush and toothpaste in a bag that he hides in a bush near his house so that she can't smell alcohol on his breath."
"Found out all of this after speaking with him for 5 minutes. Apparently it's the same story with everyone." b6109
The Google Way.
"I met a guy in the US earlier this year and, after hello, he literally said "I'm a venture capitalist and I just made $10 million from a company that Google bought out." He then started banging on about Google basically giving them money to go away. To be honest, I sympathized with Google."
"(Caveat: it might have been Facebook or Microsoft. I stopped listening pretty quickly)." the_real_grinningdog
We all Crazy....
"More specific to dating, but if someone always plays the victim in their other relationships e.g. calling all their exes crazy. If they describe 1-2 people, ok maybe they had bad taste or got unlucky. If everyone they dated was "crazy," then they should probably look in the mirror."
"On a related note, I always watch out for people who introduce others badly. If the first thing you say about people is "omg this person looks funny" or "they're a fool" I'm going to wonder how they'll think and talk about me to others." brutusjeeps
Engaging Convo....
Giphy"When they engage more about themselves than contribute to the conversation. I've met a few people who would talk all the problems they've had and would hardly ask any questions back. I've always felt so uncomfortable in these scenarios and usually don't pursue in a relationship with these types of people."
"Some people made very good points about individuals with ADHD. I should be more clear on my point by saying that some people are also very dismissive and sometimes refuse to hear what you have to say by cutting you off. I don't expect an interview from the other person, but it would be nice to have mutual interest in each other." binguchoi
Always keep your head on a swivel when making new friends!
What do you look out for? Let us know in the comments below.
@jmrphy/X
@CatholicCharm/X
@SWENGDAD/X
@nhoodpublicist/X
@jmrphy/X
@0xPuff/X