People Reveal Whether They Actually Loved The First Person They Dated

Everyone has their own unique love journey until they meet their person and commit to one another.

While exes may have let us down, being with them has been a learning experience that makes you appreciate the person with whom you share a life in the present.

That doesn't mean we don't reflect on past loves with a sense of wonder.

Curious to hear about the love life of strangers online, Redditor peacedemander111 asked:

"What was your first relationship like and were you in love with them?"

Redditors share their poignant and sweet anecdotes.

Poignant Love

"Met at 13, parted ways 10 years later. It was sweet, naive and clumsy. She passed from cancer a month before her 35th birthday. Yes I loved her deeply. Still do, in a way."

– Ostravaganza

"That’s really beautiful man, and also really heartbreaking… Love like that doesn’t just disappear, it stays with you in some way forever. Sounds like you had something really special, even if it didn’t last the way you hoped."

– sockmonkeylife

"Teen Love"

"It was very sweet. We were both very shy and nervous with each other at first, took us months just to kiss. We never had sex (he wasn't ready, actually, which is not the typical narrative) but explored other things about physical and romantic love, and he was really the perfect gentle and sweet first boyfriend to do that with."

"I loved him, though it was certainly a 'teen love' sort of thing -- like it doesn't compare to what love can be as an adult, that's for sure."

"Can't remember how or why we broke up. Nothing interesting, I think we just graduated high school, and our lives were going in different directions. Still think of him quite fondly."

– cherrycocktail20

"Useful Experience"

"My first relationship was... well, pretty typical, I guess. Young, full of emotions, everything felt so important at the time. I don’t know if it was love, but it felt like it back then."

"We were both learning, making mistakes, growing. In the end, we went our separate ways, but it was a useful experience. Now I look back and smile—it’s just part of life, after all…"

– Lina_oops

A Beautiful Love Story

"It was a very sweet, spontaneous, honest, intelligent young lady. We both immediately managed to interest each other and talked for hours. I was insecure, but once we took the step into a real relationship, it got better and better. And now we have a baby! No regrets! I love that woman."

– Lvcivs2311

Promising Start

"I am currently in my first relationship, and I'm very much in love 💕 I know people say the first one never works out, but I really think he's the one for me. We've been together for almost two years now."

"He takes such good care of me, and he's really helping the little girl in me heal. I feel so loved and cared for I never imagined I could find someone who could make me so happy 💕 I feel so lucky 💕"

– Fairlysolitary

These Redditors found that young romance wasn't always filled with rainbows.

"Emotional Manipulation"

"In high school summer school, I made friends with this girl. At the end of the semester she confessed her feelings to be, and in a number of different words basically told me I’m a piece of sh*t if I don’t have feeling for her too. So she basically used guilt to manipulate me into making her my girlfriend."

"Easily the worst relationship I have ever been, the guilt tripping and emotional manipulation never ended. Even when I broke up with her she still acted like I’m a piece of sh*t for prioritizing my happiness over being her boyfriend."

"I could not have been less in love with her."

– Adymus

Unrequited Love

"I thought it was good, and yes I fell hard. Wanted to ask her to marry me. She ended our relationship because she didn't 'love' me. I was devasted. It was my first and only real relationship very late in my life (28). It was also her first real relationship (25)."

"When we broke up she said she really just wanted to be in a relationship. It really broke me. Took a long time to work through it. But I have since moved on. Been single ever since and dating isn't going great (34) but I keep putting myself out there, maybe I get lucky and find someone who actually lives me too."

– AkasiaBonsai

It's A Hard No

"Abusive, toxic, and absolutely twisted. No, I most certainly did not love him."

– SillySub2001

Not Meant To Be

"I was a sophomore in high school and it was a girl I was friends with and had a crush on for like 3 years. Looking back we should've just stayed friends. My parents are extremely conservative Christians and drilled into me the importance of abstinence so I felt like I wasn't supposed to do anything."

"Cut to a few months after we started 'dating' (the only real difference is we would hug every day after school, we barely even spent time together outside of classes) and I kissed her after a slow song at the homecoming dance. She didn't kiss me back and basically ran to talk to her brother. I felt horrible."

"We were still 'together' for a few months after that, but I never kissed her again, and it just slowly fell apart. We were all part of a friend group, which, of course, fell apart after graduation, but she doesn't even talk to anybody from the group anymore."

"Now that I've grown up a bit and had some real relationships, no, I wasn't in love with her. I was infatuated/obsessed and had low self-esteem, so I couldn't understand why she liked me. Now, 10 years later, she's married with 2 kids, and I'm single and gay, lol."

– benwight

Rising From The Ashes

"My first relationship broke me, and made me what I am today. Grateful and pissed at the same time. I thought it would last a lifetime but ended as soon as it started. Look at me now, built and not broke."

– Ohmy_Kassyluvv

Despite the outcome, Redditors still experienced pleasant memories while exploring romance in their younger years.

Fond Memory

"Great girl. I definitely loved her, but I was also a knucklehead who didn't want my first relationship to last forever, so we went our separate ways, and that was that. After a few years of no contact, I reached out."

"We still keep in touch with each other, even though she's married with a kid and I'm in my own relationship. We'll send each other a Starbucks or Dunkin gift card on our birthdays. We live across the country from each other - and I haven't seen her in close to 15 years now - but I still consider her one of my really good friends."

– _Toaster_Baths

Learning Experience

"Toxic at first, but a bittersweet end for the most part. We both had some struggles with mental health which made things unhealthy at times. We broke up, spent some time healing on our own, and ended up getting back together. Second time around was better, but I think we both realized we didn’t work as well together as we wished we would."

"We broke up for good after a little over a year together overall. I think it was a good learning experience for both of us—there was definitely a big lack of communication. I would say I was in love with them."

– viroquie

Early Perceptions

"My first relationship was in middle school. We texted and talked on the phone constantly. My middle school self believed it was love."

"I think for most people as they grow up their understanding and definitions of love changes. This has been the case for me. I would not define my middle school love as love for my 30-year-old self. But I do think that for my understanding at that age, it was love."

– New-Training4004

We can only be present in the moment, and when we feel like we are on cloud nine during the early stages of dating, it can almost feel like love.

But eventually, the honeymoon phase ends, and we realize it's going to take work if pursuing a relationship is the mutual goal.

I tended to give up early and ended earlier relationships when I realized I wasn't up for the challenge of being in it for the long haul. In retrospect, I often confused love with lust, which I believe is fair to say is common.

Did you ever believe you were in love in your earlier dating stages?