People Explain Which Unusual 'I Need This In A Partner' Traits They Refuse To Negotiate On

Compiling a list of must-haves or must-nots for a perfect partner in a relationship is easy for many.

Some of us just know EXACTLY what we want or demand of another person.

There are personal rules that must be adhered to.

The older people get, the longer the list.

And the more steadfast people cling to it.

At a certain point, we have to stand in our truths for what is best for us.

I do give some leeway.

And past breathing, my list isn't long.

That's just me, though.

Redditor Competitive-Unit6427 wanted to hear about the hard lines people draw in their search for a mate, so they asked:

"What is your unconventional 'I need this in a partner' that you will not negotiate on?"

After the Loss

"As a widow, I feel like I'd need a widower. It seems like we'd both be a bit more understanding of each other."

- Paper-Successful

"This makes a lot of sense. It’s difficult for people to empathize with that sort of loss if they themselves have not experienced it."

- LyannasLament

Life Cycle Omg GIF by La Guarimba Film Festival Giphy

Footwear

"I can’t be with a man who wears pointy-toed shoes. Or boots. It’s just a gut feeling. I just can’t trust a man with witchy feet."

- KitnwtaWIP

"I feel this about men in ankle socks. I can’t explain it either, just an instant, no."

- LittleBlag

"I'm very critical of shoes. On the first date with my husband, he had a pair of black boots on that were just perfect. I knew on that day that he was the one for me. Literally love at first sight."

- Kind-Blackberry-6221

Days on End...

"I need someone who either understands and supports my need to occasionally disappear into the mountains for days on end, or will do it with me."

- QueerDendrophiliac

"My husband does this! He does solo trips for a few days at a time every few months. People think it’s weird and ask how I feel about it. My feelings are that I get the whole house to myself for a few days! And I’m the home project person in our relationship, so I can do a crazy house project while he’s gone if I’m bored. I do miss him while he’s gone. But I also enjoy living alone for a few days, since that’s a rarity once you’re married."

- CaughtInDireWood

Homemade

"Ability to make decent potato salad."

- Prestigious_Beat6310

"My potato salad is passed on from my mom and is legendary. Bacon is negotiable. The bacon grease is not. It makes the texture perfect. Also, we're Polish if that explains it to any of you."

- bearbiy

"OMG. Every year, the community I live in has a barbecue. I bring my home-made potato salad, and I dare say that my potato salad brings all the old ladies to the yard."

"I’ll let you set the wedding date."

- bight_sidle

Warriors

"They gotta be like, unquestionably an asset, not a liability in a zombie apocalypse."

- HenriettaCactus

"I have always taken pride in how I would do in a zombie apocalypse… until now. Had a plan and everything until I had a daughter with CHD and a lifelong need for medications and possibly a couple more 'minor' heart surgeries. She doesn’t stand a chance, and I would do anything to give her a chance, which will probably wind up with me getting killed."

- Allidoisgwin

"I am so prepared for this. I keep my machete sharp, and have a bicycle with lots of panniers - essential for doing reconnaissance and gathering supplies without access to fuel. It always bugs me that zombie movies rarely show people using bikes. 😅."

- quantumrastafarian

Get it Right

"I have to share my annoyance at historical inaccuracies."

- LinaIsNotANoob

"You would hate my dad. He gets so annoyed at any mention that a historical movie is HORRIBLY inaccurate. He has old guy epic movie tastes and doesn't you dare ever mention that Braveheart is a pile of horse s**t."

braveheart GIF Giphy

I'm OUT!!!

"As a lesbian, her parents had better know. I ain't hiding myself."

- scubaordie

"As a lesbian, I second this. I dated a closeted girl in college, and while she herself was a very sweet person, it ended up destroying us both when her parents found out. She really believed in them, and sadly, I think their reaction shook her trust in a way that will never truly recover."

"My girlfriend now is incredible and came out to her parents last year, a little before we met. They are cool and even teased her about having successfully gotten a pretty younger girl after her divorce from her older wife, which amuses me to no end!"

- Bada**Halfie

Circus Tricks

"Ok. Its kinda weird, but I find juggling hot. There's something both absolutely mesmerizing about it, and the whole being able to concentrate and focus so well is just a crazy turn on. My partner doesn't do it often, but Lord, when I catch him doing it. Mmm."

- Megnuggets

"I've been attracted to juggling specifically before, but I realised quickly it's just useless talents in general I'm attracted to. Rubik's cube solving, pen spinning, magic tricks, backflips, drawing a perfect circle freehand - sign me the f**k up."

- shes_pH7

"I'm into trick juggling and other flow arts myself, and it makes all the practice so worth it when your partner likes it and gasses you up about it. It really re-sparks the joy I find in it."

- Stormageddon346

Let's Cuddle

"Sleeping in separate rooms. I am an extremely sensitive sleeper and for the life of me cannot fall asleep if someone else is in the room. Has nothing to do with how much I love you. I still like bedtime cuddles, but once it's time to actually sleep, I need you elsewhere."

- Gemeinhardtzbrent

"I just don't understand why people are so adamant about sleeping together. Every single woman in my life talks regularly about how shitty their sleep is because their husband/bf snores or rolls around constantly, or kicks or hog the covers. I guess I just don't experience whatever warm fuzzies they get out of it. I just feel f**king tired all day after."

- isocline

Foundation of Knowledge

"I only date mathematicians."

- SweetPickleRelish

"Ha - my sister dated a lot of guys in med school and ended up going to med school. I had a habit of dating programmers and ended up programming."

"Pretty sure you would make a good mathematician!"

- WhaddaWhadda

"Kind of the same with me. They need a Bachelors of Science. Really, I’m looking for someone with an above-average understanding of Biology, Chemistry, Physics, Stats, and Calc, so I know they have a solid foundation of knowledge and the way the world works."

- Palmzi

CHIRP OFF

"Guys, this was supposed to be unconventional."

"For me, it's a fear of birds."

"What a freaking turn off it is to feel your man flinch while making out because a bird in a cage chirped."

- Accomplished-Hotel88

Incomplete

"Left my last girlfriend because she didn't completely open up anything... I hate having that tin foil cover under the lid of the sour cream. It's now a requirement, and the first thing I ask about anybody I date."

- W0ndn4

"Similar but a touch different: boyfriend says I never fully close anything because, for some reason, he shakes EVERYTHING before he uses it. I’m careful to close it all now, but I’m constantly holding back the urge to ask him why he’s shaking the dish soap."

Nah, Girl...

"Here’s something that took me well over 50 years to realize: I have to be with someone who isn’t negative. Like, if your whole persona is tearing down others, or looking for the worst. Yeah, I start to lose my mind. I’ve been told by past partners, 'Oh, you’re so easy going... You don’t care about anything.' Nah, girl... I care about a lot. But I can’t spend all effing day consumed with s**t I can’t control."

- RandyRhoadsLives

Safety First

"How they drive is really important to me. If they tailgate, have road rage, or speed up when people try to pass them, I’m out. I’ve had my life endangered too many times with men getting emotional about driving."

- Pinotnoirmidsizedcar

"Hey… mine was the same… I said it differently, but it’s the same answer."

"How someone drives is indicative of how they handle stress, the world not cooperating with their plans, and how they consider the health, safety, and mental well-being of their passengers."

"So I always say: MUST be a safe, patient, and courteous driver. Deal breaker."

- AlexLavelle

Let's Scream

"Gotta like horror movies. I spend a lot of time watching or reading horror. If we ever lived together, horror movie nights would be a regular thing. I'd be in a sexless relationship before a horror-free one."

- Dusty-Foot-Phil

Clown Frightfest GIF by Signature Entertainment Giphy

A safe driver is a must.

I am over the days of praying and breathing heavy while careening down the interstate.

I don't love birds, but I can forgive a person who fears them.

They can be a little whacky.

We really are a picky bunch when it comes to finding love.

No wonder most of us will perish alone.

I'm kidding...