32-year old Nico Tortorella has a hot take on bottom-shaming within and outside of the queer community. A bottom is usually the receptive partner during penetrative sex.
Tortorella, who is gender-fluid, gave a candid interview with Attitudewhere they discussed the stigma surrounding anal sex.
Their conclusion?
"There's nothing more masculine than bottoming."
Tortorella clarified:
"I think that's [the stigma around being the receptive partner in anal sex] just a problem with the a**hole in general."
"And deeming certain body parts as dirty or filthy."
"I think that is a deep-rooted issue with the body in general, whether you're male-bodied or female-bodied."
They went on to say that "specifically for men to be put in this 'sub-position' is not masculine," which is when they clarified:
"Anyone who's bottomed ever knows you need to man the f'k up to get the job done."
Tortorella and their partner, Bethany C Myers, have a polyamorous relationship.
Both partners have been advocates for gender and sexual fluidity.
Tortorella said of their relationship with Myers:
"I think both of those words, queer and polyamorous, are heavily weighted and they mean different things to different people. And what they mean to us works for us. And sometimes it doesn't."
"I am kind of a serial monogamist in my polyamory … I love dating one person at a time."
"I'm married, yes, but I love dating one person at a time."
"I have a partner in LA that I've had for a long time, but I'm not his only partner; he's not my only partner."
"We don't have all the answers, but we're going to figure it out. I'm sure other people will try to give us unsolicited advice on a regular basis."
Tortorella and Myers plan to continue to be outspoken on both their love and sexuality, and Tortorella, ostensibly, on gendered roles in queer sex.