People Break Down The Best NFSW Historical Facts They Know

Well, things are about to get scandalous.

This is an NC-17 piece... just FYI!

Wars

"Roman troops where provided cow intestines condoms, as STD epidemics could decide the fate of entire wars."

ExistentialClutter

“The Final Member”

"There is a legal penis size in Iceland. It’s an old law from the Middle Ages after a woman was married off to a man and on her wedding night was so disappointed with how small his penis was that she took him back to the church to have an annulment. Because of her a law was made that a man must be at least three inches to marry."

"There is a wonderful documentary called 'The Final Member' in which this is an actual problem."

EmperorJJ

Supply and Demand

"In ancient Egypt, soldiers proved their battle prowess by presenting the severed penises of their slaughtered enemies. Traditionally, severed hands were presented, but in 1182 B.C. Libyans, and other allies invaded Egypt and were defeated by the army of Ramesses III, and Ramesses suspected that some soldiers were claiming extra credit by presenting the hands of women as well as the male soldiers. So he demanded penises instead. His victory inscriptions mention 12,535 foreskins and hands, and has images of the piles of the body parts at the Medinet Habu mortuary temple."

WillShakeSpear1

Priorities

"The original sex toy was created almost 1500 years before the wheel."

just-a-humanoid

That makes sense. See we are more open to sex talk than we think.

For Nothing

"There was a guy that tried to prove that yellow fever wasn't contagious and so he would pour the infected vomit into his freshly cut opened would, pouring it into his eyes, and drinking it."

"And soaking into a bath of it. And smearing his body with blood, pee, and spit. He was fine because yellow fever isn't spread through direct contact, it's spread through mosquitoes. So he did all that for nothing. His name was Stubbins Ffirth look it up."

UnknownDaemon42

FOOLS!

"In 1488 an Italian noblewoman Catarina Sforza-Riario locked herself in a castle to save herself from her enemies. Her enemies managed to capture her children and threatened to kill them if she wouldn't surrender. She climbed on ramparts, lifted her skirt to expose herself and shouted 'Fools! Don't you see that I can make myself more children?'"

Nerevanin

In Space

"Astronomer here! In 1992, two astronauts did not disclose they were married to NASA until it was too late to replace one of them and thus became the first married couple in space. While the two astronauts in question are not the kiss and tell types, most people assume this means space sex has happened (obviously you don’t have to be married to try it, but it does make it harder to figure out the couples). NASA’s official stance is that it hasn’t, but I’m not sure people really believe them."

Andromeda321

LOLOLOL

"The CIA once considered sending the Soviets condoms that were large labeled “small” to convince them that the US was well endowed."

"Source: https://archive.totalfratmove.com/cia-once-considered-convincing-the-soviets-that-all-americans-had-huge-dongs/"

bkai76

"Art"

"In colonial America, a guy was arrested and charged because he drew a lewd image of his wife in the snow. Puritans didn’t appreciate the art."

lethalgender

Lupercalia

"From the 13th to the 15th of February the Romans celebrated Lupercalia (Roman precursor of Valentine's day), which was a festival of love and fertility. Priests would sacrifice a goat and then cut the goat skin into pieces. Part of this they would wear on their heads, and other parts were cut into thongs. The men would then run around the city of Rome naked, hitting as many women with these thongs as they possibly could (being hit would help with pregnancy or becoming pregnant). So depending on what they wanted, the women would either deliberately stand in the way of the men, or try to run away while pretty much everyone was naked."

"In another part of the festivities men would draw names of women from a jar and the goal was that they'd stay together for the duration of the festival. This would often result in a lot of... you know... intercourse, and sometimes people actually fell in love and got married after they met during Lupercalia."

Doorbelldoor

Sorcery

"Witches were more often mutilated than actually burned."

thelesserdaughter

"Fun fact: None of the witches at Salem were burned at the stake. All were hanged and one man was crushed with stones."

KahlPono

"Burning was more of a European thing. Hangings were all the rage here in the colonies."

LeoPlathasbeentaken

Foucault

"French modern philospher Michel Foucault, in addition to studying crime and deviance in a Criminology sense, also applied his theories on punishment to his fascination with BDSM, having also written a number of kink-based works. He eventually moved to San Francisco and partook in gay bathhouses (notorious for casual sex). He eventually caught HIV and some have speculated (it may be written somewhere?) that he purposely contracted it as some sort of poetic social commentary."

"Oddly, I learned this stuff while getting my Administration of Justice major and studying Corrections, lol."

ShireGray

Female Serial Killer

"The deadliest female serial killer in US history had murdered 35 people with an axe by the time she was 18 years old."

Skulldetta

"Clementine Barnabet, member of a cult called the Church of Sacrifice. Preferred murdering several family members at once, often decapitating them. Not so fun fact: She was out of prison before she was 30 and never seen again. I'd rather not know what her actual body count was."

Skulldetta

History is saucy. Oh my...

Do you have anything to add? Let us know in the comments.