Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

People Break Down The Best Way To Make Friends As A 'Thirty Something'

People Break Down The Best Way To Make Friends As A 'Thirty Something'
Free-Photos from Pixabay

With the responsibilities of careers and family and children, it can feel tough to make friends when you're over 30. The days of running up to randos on the playground and saying, "Wanna be friends?" might be far behind us, but that doesn't mean it's impossible to make friends.

NOTE: Remember to follow this advice in a post-COVID world, as safely as possible.


Reddit user, u/Llamatomb, wanted to learn some new tips and tricks when they asked:

"How do you make friends when you're 30+?"

Just Be More Open

Homer Simpson Hug GIF by Animation DominationGiphy

"Join clubs of activities you enjoy."

"Talk to the people at your job."

"Write a message to your old classmates or friends."

"Meet your neighbours."

R3makea

"I think about 80-90% of friendships are formed based on circumstance. They're coworkers, frequent customers, or neighbors. The other 10-20% are the familial friendships and friends from the past"

Ahstia

Look For Any Kind Of Connecting Thread

"My story; I recently switched jobs and I hadn't met any of my coworkers due to corona."

"I saw a coworkers Volvo V60 (my dream car) was up for grabs and I was the only one who showed interest in taking it, so I went by his house to see it; We started talking and it turned out we shared a lot of common interests; BBQ, Beers, Whiskey & [cigars]. He mentioned that he and some other coworkers had a little club and they got together for slowcooking sessions! I instanly became best friends with half the management at my company!"

Th3_Accountant

Baby Steps

"Started therapy this year and that seems to be going well. I bought a bass guitar which makes me interact with people at the music store because I have no idea what I'm doing with it yet. I also get my car washed twice a week so that I can tip the car wash person $5 and ask them to put my other mirror in because I can't reach it."

"Baby steps."

warWITHINtheGIRL

Shift Up The Meeting Priorities

"I'm not 30+ yet (28), but I've had good luck with just dating. We're all pretty lonely and if you go into the first date with the attitude to find a friend rather than a life-long companion, you'll usually have some pretty good luck."

GourdofThunder

Go On. Learn Something.

"If you like languages, a language group/meetings may be a good way. They usually also include foreigners who are also looking for new friends."

Pinglak

Let's All Go To The Sports Ball Games

"Post-COVID advice, of course."

"Check out meetups first your hobbies. Even if they seem like solo hobbies. Book clubs, running clubs, etc. most of my friends now are from a running club. They are amazing and really fun folks."

"Get new hobbies. What I like as an older adult is different than what I liked as a teenager."

"This is an important note : I HATED sports growing up and was terrible at them. But I just decided to go for it But I started playing sports where no one cared if you were good (running is good since it literally doesn’t hurt anyone else if you’re slow) and other sports with a lot of adult beginners. Aka, adulthood is a bad time to start playing soccer, but great for curling, hockey, running, cycling."

"Like other said, say yes to invitations."

GirlsLikeStatus

You Don't Even Have To Talk At First

"get involved in activities were you will see the same people on a regular basis. You have that activity in common at least and maybe create friendship from there."

-castle-bravo-

"to paraphrase C.S. Lewis "lovers stand face to face but friends stand side to side". You find friends in common interests and activities."

Delta_pdx

You Only Hang Out When Your Kids Hang Out

happy homer simpson GIFGiphy

"I feel like the catch 22 is this: Being a parent makes it easier, because you have a natural connection to others - kids the same age, play dates, etc. Buuuuut being a parent means you have so little time and energy for friendship, so it's kind of a wash"

peppermntn

Aw, I Have To Go To Classes To Better Myself?

"Some of these are difficult at the moment - coz Covid - but I’ve picked up friends along the way from the following:"

  • "Exercise classes (note - I suspect this works better for females than males): any class which is not expressly aimed at a certain age group, eg. if you’re 30, joining “Fab After 50” or “Mature Bums” (OK, I made that one up) isn’t likely to attract your direct peer group. However, general classes advertised as for all abilities tend to attract all manners of shapes, sizes, ages, experiences, etc., and it’s difficult to NOT find yourself chatting to people, which can turn into a friendship over time. For dudes, I’d recommend team sports as opposed to classes."
  • "Educational classes: veering towards “discussional” courses, such as the social sciences, humanities, arts, etc., where classmate interaction is encouraged, or even required. Or hobbyist classes such as pottery, painting, wood crafts, and so on. You’re (probably) less likely to pick up firm friends in classes aimed at a particular professional accreditation - as the students are just there to get that under their belt - but it’s obviously not impossible."
  • "Volunteering and/or picking up a small extra casual job, if your “real” job isn’t giving you the interactions you desire."
Emergency_Town3366

Oh Yeah. Jobs.

"Co-workers you really get along, can have fun, and have things in common with are hard to come by it seems, but it happens. 3 of us had been going to the bar for a beer or 2 before heading home after work most Fridays for a bit before Covid forced the bar by work to cut its hours and open later."

TheMightyIrishman

Go With A Book And Be Ready To Put It Down

"My boyfriend works at a local brewery, he's 30, I'm 26. A lot of the regular customers there are in their 50s, a lot of single men and women who would just go there, bring a book, order a beer, sit at the bar, and chat with people who sat by them. Some of our best friends are regulars there."

"I spent a lot of this summer at backyard fires at a 50 something year olds place talking about his army days, and he's just a guy who was bored at home so started going to his local brewery for a beer every weekend."

"I know it's hard with covid right how, but there's nothing wrong with going to a brewery or pub alone with a book and chatting with anyone who's down to chat."

PistachioMaru

Never Say No

  1. "If you have at least one friend, or know any other humans that you feel you can stand for longer than a few hours, find similar interests you have and this can lead to them introducing you to other people with the same interest (music, sports, gaming, etc.)"
  2. "NEVER turn down an invitation. Even if you're not feeling up to it, or feeling lazy, just go. You can always leave if you're not feeling it. But perhaps you might end up meeting someone who has the potential for friendship!"

"Its obviously hard now with COVID and so many social restrictions, but hang in there!"

Ftw_dabs69ish

Learn From All Age Groups

"Don’t limit yourself to an age group. Older people in general and who have nothing to prove can end up being your most supportive. They can also mentor you. And you can give them energy and cultural updates to keep them in the know. I’m 68 and my fiancé is 81 and we often have more energy than those under 50. And we have lots of stuff, good stuff, we want to share or give away and we have. A win for each other. And we don’t judge as we have probably been there."

Icy-Independence3621

Reciprocate The Effort

"If someone makes an effort to get to know you better, reciprocate the effort and find out what they're interested in. If you find something in common, then do whatever it happens to be with them (ie gaming, working out, etc...) and use the common interest as a bridge to do other stuff together."

"Honestly way better at making friends now than I was in my teens or 20s as well because I've basically accepted I am who I am as well instead of trying to be someone who I'm not"

watermelonpizzafries

When You Give Back, The Universe Gives To You

Greeting Season 3 GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy

"I felt lost when my Marriage ended. So I volunteered in the community , And found myself, found new friends, and found a sense of purpose for my spare time. Now, three years later when I go walking in the neighbourhood, I can say hello to a great number of people and I never feel alone. More than that, I'm hanging out with great people that also want to help the neighbourhood. In conclusion, Try volunteering."

sarudesu

Be bold, be brave, and don't be afraid to let someone new into your life.

Want to "know" more?

Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.

Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.

More from Trending/best-of-reddit

Screenshots from @realprogressive11's TikTok video
@realprogressive11/TikTok

Rural Michigan Woman Speaks Out About 'Dystopian' Grocery Costs In Eye-Opening Video

TikToker @realprogressive11, a rural Michigan resident, is tired of dancing around the subject and is ready to call it like it is: according to her, grocery shopping has become a "dystopian" experience.

And based on other TikTokers' experiences, this isn't specific to Michigan.

Keep ReadingShow less
Andrew Rannells Just Dished On How Dating Anderson Cooper At 25 Directly Inspired 'Girls' Storyline—And Our Jaws Are On The Floor
Daily Beast/Obsessed; Gary Gershoff/Getty Images

Andrew Rannells Just Dished On How Dating Anderson Cooper At 25 Directly Inspired 'Girls' Storyline—And Our Jaws Are On The Floor

After years of speculation, the tea has finally been spilled about who inspired Elijah Krantz and Dill Harcourt's relationship.

In case you missed it, the hit TV show Girls aired for six seasons from 2012 to 2017, and followed the lives of four young women making their way through early romance and career moves in New York City.

Keep ReadingShow less
Tom Holland and Zendaya
Pablo Cuadra/WireImage/Getty Images

Tom Holland Just Confirmed The Months-Long Rumors That He And Zendaya Got Married—And His Comments Have Fans Swooning

American actor and singer Zendaya and British actor and dancer Tom Holland first met in 2016 during the screen test and casting process for their roles in the 2017 Marvel made/Sony approved movie Spider-Man: Homecoming. The pair, both born in 1996, were successful child actors transitioning into adults, but still playing teens on camera.

They became fast friends, but didn't begin dating until sometime later, even if fans thought the attraction happened much sooner. They finally confirmed their relationship in 2021.

Keep ReadingShow less
Billy Porter; Elisabeth Hasselbeck
CBS Mornings

Elisabeth Hasselbeck Is Getting Some Major Side-Eye After Making Bizarre Dig At Billy Porter During Interview

Conservative TV host Elisabeth Hasselbeck first gained public notice in 2001 as a contestant on the second season of the CBS reality show Survivor, then she furthered her fame by marrying NFL player Tim Hasselbeck the following year.

After that, she became the conservative voice on The View for a decade (2003-2013), frequently clashing with her co-hosts and garnering animosity from viewers. Portraying herself as a trad-wife while in reality being a working mother, her next stint was on Fox News' Fox & Friends from 2013 to 2015 before being replaced by Sean Hannity paramour Ainsley Earhardt.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshots of JD Vance and Whoopi Goldberg
Fox News; The View

JD Vance Ripped After Running To Fox News To Whine About Whoopi Goldberg Supposedly Calling Him 'Racist' On 'The View'

Vice President JD Vance was criticized after he complained on Fox News that The View moderator Whoopi Goldberg had called him a "racist" during his appearance on the program.

While on The View, Vance sidestepped a question from Goldberg about concerns that the Trump administration was marginalizing Black history and communities.

Keep ReadingShow less