Town Crier

When you're having a problem with a coworker, whoever presents their story to management first almost always comes out on top.

Sailor_Chibi

Often the case with law enforcement as well.

NDaveT

Lick-tenant Cable

As a toddler I wouldn't stop trying to lick electric plugs. My mom was so exhausted of preventing me from touching the plugs she just stopped doing it. I managed to lick a plug. Never ever tried it again.

BlueWildfire9

When I was around 10 years old I licked a cable once to see what would happen...worst idea ever. My tongue felt numb and I also felt some sort of burning sensation at the same time for at least 30 minutes.

yall_need_christ

Of Course What Really Matters Is The Blame

When I first started a job where I had real responsibility, I learned the importance of having written evidence. I was "leading" a project and needed approval for a $50,000 purchase (still above my pay grade at this time). The timing was tight and needed to give the okay within a few hours. I got a verbal "Of course that is okay, hurry and finish it!" from my boss. Well it turns out my boss's boss did not like it.

So my boss denied the fact he gave me the go ahead. My company proceeded to drag their feet to pay the $50,000 bill and I got cursed at by the contracting company and my boss's boss because my boss threw me under the bus. I have since learned to get written approval for everything even if it sets the project behind. I also learned most people in the professional world will do whatever they need to do to shift the blame.

Sworl

The Fight Is Within

Never get in a fight with an inanimate object. It will not get hurt but you will. I've known too many people that kicked/punched something and broken themselves. Walls don't complain.

Dawgsquad00

Yup. Went to school with a guy who got mad and kicked a fish tank. That resulted in a severed Achilles's tendon and a looong time on crutches.

asking-the-questions

Legalese

CYA (cover your *butt*) at work. Being the new person sucks at an office, and insisting on proper treatment can feel like a mistake but it's so worthwhile.

Started working at an office with very little in written expectations, processes, or training. Red flags were everywhere, but I was a newbie in the field and really needed a job, so I missed some red flags and ignored others.

One thing that I absolutely got right (by accident) was a hardcore CYA program. I wrote down everything during training (thinking I would train the next person better). I wrote down everything I was asked to do (trying to keep organized and not miss any assignment or task). I kept a copy of all of this on my google calendar/google docs.

After I left, I found out my boss was blaming me for a number of misses that were demonstrably not my fault. I ended up having to sue, and thank god I had a record to back me up.

MeowSchwitzInThere

Molten Egg

I was about 11 years old and I wanted a warm hard boiled egg. I took the egg out of the refrigerator, peeled it, put the egg in the microwave for about 10 seconds. Took the egg out and bit into it. It exploded when I took the first bite. I had a huge blister on my lip for a few days. Not so bright.

nutmegtwistymellow

Cuts Abounding

Not to be stupid with water guns. I was on holiday with my family and I was about 13 and my dad had bought two water guns that worked by you pulling it back as it suctioned the water up, I (being a dumb idiot) decided to suction my lip and it pinged back and cut my lip open. Had to go to hospital abroad and get stitches

007finfin

Get Me On Out

Not to get involved in office politics and to NEVER trust HR. I thought I was good friends with the HR woman, she would come in my office and tell me all about her personal life...even cried to me a few times. She would say things like "If it weren't for you I wouldn't be able to come in everyday". We were friends on social media. So in turn, I felt comfortable to talk about my own problems, especially with my boss. She talked about hers constantly so I didn't feel like it would come back to bite me. Well... as you're expecting, it did.

I got pulled into my bosses office with her right there taking notes as he talked to me for two hours about my performance and then said "I know she's a very nice person, but everything you tell her comes right back to me. So if there's anything you'd like to say you can say it now that were both in here... and just so you know, we're not trapping you"... I literally just sat there and took it and just okay'd everything and did not say a word.

She's avoided me like the plague since and I deleted her on all social media. As you can imagine, I'm currently looking for a new position.

kittygorilla

Too Many Fallacies

Everyone is willing to take advantage of you. As a student in college a while back I worked as a contractor for a startup and I didn't have a written contract. I worked my butt off for 3 months while they kept delaying my pay. At the end the owner refused to pay me and stated I could "go eff myself". Tried to get a lawyer but they said since I didn't have a contract it would be extremely difficult. Just had to file a labor complaint.

The lesson here is always getting something on paper :(

PM_ME_YOUR_CUTE_HATS