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Jennifer Lopez Gets Candid About The 'PTSD' She And Ben Affleck Have From Their First Breakup

Lopez opened up to 'Variety' about how the scars of her first fizzled romance with Affleck have continued to affect their current marriage.

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez
Matt Winkelmeyer/Getty Images for ELLE

Jennifer Lopez is getting ready to drop her This Is Me... Now album and companion film, but it's certainly not without hesitation.

The album is a sequel to Lopez's third studio album, This Is Me... Then, released two decades ago, most of which was inspired by her first relationship with now-husband Ben Affleck.

Lopez and Affleck met on the set of their film Gigli in 2002 and began dating shortly after. They soon became engaged, with lavish plans to wed at Affleck's Georgia home.

But the power couple called off their wedding in September 2003, just days before they were to say, "I do," as a result of "excessive media attention." The couple officially split in January 2004, due in large part to their very public relationship and the media's heavy scrutiny of it.

Last year, Lopez told Apple Music's Zane Lowe that the 2002 album exposed their round-one relationship "right there on the record."

"That album, 'This Is Me...Then,' really captured a moment in time where I fell in love with the love of my life."
"And I just, it's all right there on the record."
"Every single song that we wrote, me writing 'Dear Ben,' it was such a special moment in time to have captured."

But after the breakup, the singer said she wouldn't even listen to - let alone perform - songs from that record.

"Once we called off that wedding 20 years ago, it was the biggest heartbreak of my life, and I honestly felt like I was going to die."
"And it sent me on a spiral for the next 18 years where I just couldn't get it right."

After the split, Lopez went on to marry Marc Anthony in June, 2004. The couple had two children together, twins Maximilian and Emme, in 2008, but they ultimately split in 2011.

Affleck went on to marry Jennifer Garner in 2005. They separated in 2015 before divorcing in 2018. Affleck and Garner share three children, Violet Anne, 18, Seraphina Rose, 14, and Samuel, 11.

In 2021, nearly 20 years after their very public breakup, Affleck and Lopez reunited, and the rest was seemingly history. The new-again couple eloped to Las Vegas in July 2022 and later had that Georgia mansion ceremony that was planned two decades prior.

Given the turmoil and heartbreak connected to JLo's first album about Affleck, it's no surprise that she - and others associated with the project - would be wary about the sequel's release.

In fact, Lopez told Varietythat she and Affleck both still have "PTSD" from their very public split, but they've learned a lot since the first go-around.

“... We both have PTSD, but we’re older now. We’re wiser. "
"We also know what’s important, what’s really important in life, and it’s not so much what other people think."
"It’s about being true to who you are.”

People on social media agreed that the couple's very public relationship and the media's involvement truly destroyed their initial go at love.


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But they're delighted to see the couple thriving now... and are greatly anticipating that part two album, as well.


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Lopez told Variety she's aware of the risks associated with the release of such a transparent album that exposes her vulnerability, but she felt it was her obligation as an artist to see it through.

“As artists, we have to follow our heart and this is me following my heart and doing something that maybe everybody didn’t think was the best idea, but I had to do it."

We're looking forward to it.