People Confess How Important Sex Really Is To Them In A Relationship

I love sex. And from experience I know it's important.

Toilet Thoughts

"A wise man once told me 'Sex in a relationship is like a bathroom in a house. It's not why you're there, but if it disappears it can be an issue.'"

Fubai97b

Desire

"Sigh... Prostate cancer survivor here. Since I had my prostate removed to stave off cancer, I have no sexual desire (this is rare; many men have ED problems, but an unlucky few like me have no sexual desire at all). My wife has been very supportive (we are both in late 60's early 70's) and we still have plenty of cuddles and our memories to fall back on."

amerkanische_Frosch

Checkmate

"I think it's something for which you need checkpoints every so often. While at the beginning you may have the same drive things can change on a physical level (hormones, etc) that may pull you one way or another. Don't assume that just because you had the talk years ago and you feel the same way that it's the same on the other side as well."

FellcallerOmega

"bringing it up"

"Doesn't have to be a centerpiece but I should never have to beg for it."

its_Is

"This to be honest. Always felt like I was the one 'bringing it up' so to say. Pretty big dealbreaker. And before someone saying stuff about how I could do something different/I did something wrong: Shut up. You have no clue about any context."

KanadeKanashi

Not Everything

"Sex isn't a super important part of a relationship until one of you isn't getting the sex you want to be getting. Then it can become very important."

ethnicbonsai

Clearly everyone is obsessed with sex. Big shock.

Same Page

"If it’s not important to you, you better make sure your partner feels the same or you are going to have a bad time."

lone_rutabaga

Human Intimacy

"I really don’t care at all. I used to think I wanted sex, but then I realized I just incredibly starved of human intimacy. Yes sex is an intimate thing but I’ll be just as happy curled up under a blanket with someone."

YUNGN0

"Agreed. Am dating someone who can't have sex right now for medical reasons... instead we just cuddled on the bed for a little bit. It was just as magical, if not more so."

Glamdring804

earth-shattering...

"I was someone who placed some importance on it before but not a ton. Then I met someone who really gave me an actual earth-shattering orgasm and that’s all she wrote. I’m still as attracted to him as I was when we first got together. Sex isn’t everything but when it’s good it really does take the relationship to another level."

SPtotheA

be-all-end-all...

"Pretty important. I love sex. It makes me feel closer to my partner. I love feeling desirable, vulnerable, loved, trusted, and just good. That being said, if my sexual partners decided they didn't want sex anymore for whatever reason, than our relationships wouldn't change for me. I'd miss the sex, and coping might be difficult initially. But as important as sex is, it's not the be-all-end-all when it comes to loving someone, and I'd still be grateful to have them in my life."

mother**queer

Desired

"For me the sex itself isn’t what’s important so much as the feeling of being desired. We don’t have to have sex often as long as I know I’m the only one you’re looking at in that way."

ImAshroom-69

Together

"Very important, it brings us so much closer."

Inside-Currency9002

"I was someone who placed some importance on it before but not a ton. Then I met someone who really gave me an actual earth-shattering orgasm and that’s all she wrote. I’m still as attracted to him as I was when we first got together. Sex isn’t everything but when it’s good it really does take the relationship to another level."

SPtotheA

80/20

"Crucial. My mom used to say when the sex is good it makes up 20% of a relationship, when the sex is bad it becomes 80% of the relationship."

WhiteTigressss

"Old Boomer Dude Here: She was right on point. My sex drive departed in my fifties and I don’t miss it, but my poor wife certainly does. The interesting thing is apart from that, I’m a pretty great husband. But the lack of intimacy is killing the marriage."

bdbdbokbuck

beyond a certain point...

"I'd put it as a requirement, but it's more like 'we need a certain amount of compatibility sexually for this relationship to work' rather than it being a primary determinant of how much I value the relationship. Like, beyond a certain point, if sexual compatibility is good enough, it doesn't matter if it's the best I've ever had or if we have it all the time. Other things are much more important. Nonetheless, if we couldn't even make each other happy sexually, there's no way I'd stay in that relationship."

d**gsucker

Desire

"I just want to be desired."

darlingmakinzie

"This. The actual act of sex is cool, but I want the desire. I want to be lusted after the same way I would lust at my partner."

xxDoublezeroxx

Bad Cuts

"For me it’s important because it makes me feel wanted. But I only want it if she wants it. Nothing worse than having it feel like it’s a chore or obligation for her. Once a month isn’t cutting it but I’ve tried everything to make things in her life easier that maybe she’d be interested. My self esteem is now at a zero and all I want is to feel wanted or desired."

TheHeed97015

Chores

"Very... sex to me isn't just getting my load off but it'd a actual 'connection' to me on a emotional level... being able to communicate with each other and have a good sex life because of it is just as important to me as something as simple like being able to share chores or being able to accept that you might disagree on things and that being more then okay."

6F1I

Partners

"Not at all important. To me the emotional intimacy matters. For me a relationship is a safe space where we can support each other and be there for each other. Sex doesn't have to be a part of that. Of course, as long as both partners think that way, otherwise there's gonna be a problem."

Name-Forsaken

speaking from experience...

"There are a lot of great responses in this thread. Great question, but also I think the wrong focus. The right one is 'how important is sex in the relationship you have?' If the answer to the question you asked is more or less the same from both parties, then all is good."

"If this is a source of disconnect then it can be a major issue. Sex and intimacy are foundational to a true relationship, but whether or not it is a load bearing support depends on both partners not just you. (speaking from experience)."

waremi

Hold Me

"It wouldn’t really affect me to not have it. Cuddles on the other hand... I can’t imagine a relationship without them. They recharge me and fill me with love."

machinedog

Sex. Love it. Hate it. We need it or need to communicate our needs. At least now and again.