Rescue Dog Has Hilarious 'Response' After Homophobes Melt Down Over His Request To Be Adopted By Lesbians

Somewhere out there is a lesbian couple with 14 throw blankets, an oat milk habit, a Subaru in the driveway, and room in their hearts for one very opinionated rescue dog.

Congratulations, lesbians. It’s a boy.

Tommy, an adorable gray-and-white rescue pup with soulful brown eyes and seriously expressive ears, is searching for his forever home, and the folks at North Carolina’s STAB Rescue have apparently determined that only two moms will do.

STAB Rescue laid out the rigorous methodology behind the cute canine’s matchmaking demands:

“After careful consideration, absolutely zero scientific research, and Tommy making his preferences everybody else’s problem, we have determined that this man needs LESBIANS. 😂”

Tommy's adoption profile identifies him as a large adult American Bully and Catahoula Leopard Dog mix who is house-trained and good with kids and dogs. He’s also described as affectionate, funny, gentle, and smart, so frankly, the ladies could do worse.

Of course, Tommy has standards of his own:

“Extra bonus points if someone owns overalls. Automatic approval if you’ve ever said, ‘We weren’t planning on getting another dog...’ immediately before getting another dog.”

You can view the hilarious ad below:

The tongue-in-cheek ad earned plenty of love from readers who were in on the joke, but apparently not everyone was ready to celebrate Tommy’s search for two moms.

One commenter demanded to know how Tommy’s preferences were determined:

“How the f**k do you know the dog wants lesbian owners, did you ask it”

Well, yes, dear commenter. Obviously. Tommy was apparently very clear about it.

Let’s be real, folks. The entire post was one long, affectionate joke about lesbian stereotypes—and a pretty creative way to get more eyes on a rescue dog desperately needing a home.

But, apparently, even that was too much gay joy for some homophobes to leave alone. Instead of laughing—or doing that incredibly difficult thing called simply scrolling past—they showed up to argue over whether a rescue dog was allowed to “want” lesbian moms.

Unfortunately, one commenter managed to make things even weirder:

“Hope you are not planning on molesting that dog with peanut butter”

STAB Rescue responded by taking out the trash, deleting many of the homophobic comments. But simply cleaning up the mess apparently wasn’t satisfying enough.

The rescue returned with a follow-up ad starring Tommy as a “Professional Man Decliner,” allowing the dog at the center of this entirely manufactured controversy to respond to the grown men who were, quite literally, arguing with him.

Tommy opened his response with a message for his newly acquired fan club:

“A MESSAGE FROM TOMMY TO ALL THE MEN PERSONALLY VICTIMIZED BY MY REQUEST FOR A LESBIAN HOME.”

Tommy proceeded to absolutely drag the men who had taken his request personally, clarifying that he never said men were bad—he simply didn’t want them. And for anyone preparing another manifesto in the comments, the rescue offered a helpful reality check: These people were “BEEFING WITH A DOG.”

Check out PinkNews’ coverage of Tommy’s hilarious follow-up posts below:

The complaints did accomplish one thing, though. After careful consideration, Tommy decided to “become even gayer.”

And somehow, the internet loved him even more:

@loonamona/Instagram

@shhtheyrewatching/Instagram

@charlize_elger/Instagram

@missfoxyfoxfox/Instagram

@laleprincey/Instagram

@tleav/Instagram

@emjayy033/Instagram

@youdumbwitch/Instagram

@mscoralmakenzi/Instagram

@eliandmaloneysfosters/Instagram

@gannet_guts/Instagram

@thedwivah/Instagram

Behind all the viral laughs is a dog who has spent roughly two-and-a-half years waiting for someone to stay. Tommy’s adoption profile says that after being “used, discarded, and abandoned over and over again,” he needs a patient home where he can finally learn that people—and love—don’t always disappear.

Tommy remains listed for adoption through Saving the Aggressive Breeds Rescue, which requires a two-week trial adoption to ensure the match works for everyone.

So here’s hoping Tommy gets exactly what he asked for: two moms, an unreasonable number of throw blankets, a Subaru in the driveway, and absolutely no men filing appeals in the comments.

And if a bunch of triggered homophobes accidentally helped his future lesbian moms find their new son? Even better.