oh-myyy-ribbon

Rule Number 1 of being a kid- never snoop through your parents' things. I know it may seem like a cool thing to do because you want to rebel and break the rules, but trust me, the only person who's harmed by it is you. These Redditors tell their worst stories of what they saw in their parents' room.



That's tough to read.

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I found typed letters from my dad to my mom, in my mom's room. They had been divorced for a couple years at that time and the letters said some pretty horrible things about her and about how we were being raised.

I'm assuming she was keeping them in case she needed them in court.

Fatloaf

Awkward.

After my dad passed away, I searched through the browser history on his computer. Tons of porn and websites for ordering black market Viagra.

I didn't personally regret finding it, but I know my mom would have, so I deleted the history and never told her.

DeathSpiral321

Reminds me of the medical alert bracelet that says "Delete my browser history" instead of diabetes or epilepsy, etc.

jrkipling

Traumatizing.

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I ended up finding a quite kinky adult toy in my grandma's possession. That was 6 years ago but I still have the image seared into my mind.

HagridTheGangster

Maybe she thought it was a neck massager.

RaelfDis

Neck massager called "The Bulldozer".

lou_sassoles

A sentimental riding crop.

I found a riding crop in my parents wardrobe. I was like "when the f*ck did we get a horse??"

WalpoleTheNonce

Look, maybe it just died before you were born and they just kept it for sentimental reasons?

BlackJimmy88

NOPE.

Found some old nudes when I was like 11. I didn't realize it was mom at first.

walrustoothbrush

I had a similar experience, only she was right with me. I had gotten a digital camera when I was 8 or 9 ish and we needed a SD card for it. She got one out of her office and put it in the computer that I was sitting in front of, and right on the screen popped up a lot of images of her naked in several poses. She yanked that card out so fast.

Fite4DIMONDZ

And now for something completely different.

Giphy

I found my letters to Santa hidden in my parents' socks.

xXBli-BXx

In a thread of porn and other nsfw things, your story is cute and heartwarming.

land_lubber

That's a strange beer opener.

I found a beer opener that was shaped like a huge black penis. I put it back but then years later my younger sister found it and asked them what it was.

Their faces were red while I tried not to laugh.

Troutorama

A universal childhood experience.

Me and my brother found a stack of about 50 Playboys in my dad's closet when I was 13.

It was awesome for about a year till he discovered we had been messing with them and got rid of them.

Then we were all out of porn again but it was a very educational year.

land_lubber

My dad has had a subscription to Playboy since probably before I was born in the early 80's. They were always in the bathroom to read, he still gets them every month.

I grew up reading them, and didn't understand why my friends thought it was so funny- I thought all parents had that kind of stuff just around the house. He kept a lot of them in boxes in the attic, I'm pretty sure he saved a lot of the real old ones, they'll be my inheritance I guess.

TwinkiWeinerSandwich

Snoop on snoop.

Giphy

Found a letter about a kid my mum gave up for adoption when she was 18. Weird to think my mum had a whole different life before I came along when she was 27.

_Punderful_

My sister snooped in my mom's journal when she was about 13, and found that my mom had also had a child at 18 that she gave up for adoption. I found out by snooping through my sister's diary.

wonderwoman705

Poor dad.

My dad's journal from before I was born. He was so incredibly depressed. He talked about how my older sister cried on her way to kindergarten and it was the first time he'd been able to relate to her in years.

Totally broke my heart. I've never told him though. That was definitely not meant for me to read.

cedardream

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If you've ever worked with kids you know that their honesty and lack of filter can sometimes make them cringeworthy - and pretty hilarious.

If you haven't (or you don't have a thick skin) then you might not be able to appreciate just how funny kids can actually be. For those who can, this article should be a blast.

Reddit user moosepajamas asked:

Teachers of Reddit, what is the funniest thing you've ever heard a student say?

The answers could sometimes be insulting, sometimes silly, and sometimes downright baffling - just like kids themselves!


September 31

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One time I was asking students their birthdays. One boy told me that his birthday was September 31st. I tried to explain that this was not possible, but he insisted. Later, I looked it up. I then informed him that his birthday was November 17th.

He looked at me kind of confused and said "ohhhh." Then his face brightened and he said, "Well, last year I KNOW it was September 31st!"

- RedditStateOfMind

Jesus

I teach elementary band. One time we were preparing for a challenging playing test and a student said: "Man, I need to practice."

Without missing a beat the kid next to him says "My mom says I need Jesus."

- moosepajamas

Shown Up By A 5th Grader

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Was tutoring after-school a couple years ago. A kid asked "What time is it?"

I joked "Time for you to get a watch."

He responded "Time for you to get a new joke" without a moment's hesitation.

I had to laugh at getting shown up by a 5th grader. Two reading levels behind but witty as hell.

- Garlic_And_Sapphires

Jogathon

I had a student who was a newcomer (just moved to the US, almost no English) from Latvia. This kid is very bright and was one of my favorite 6th graders ever. We were having our annual jogathon, which is linguistically and culturally not translatable from Latvian.

Student: "So I pay you and you make me run?"

Me: "Yeah, that's actually how it goes."

Student: "This is simple. I don't pay you, you don't make me run."

Me: "uhhhh...."

- estrogyn

Rosa

Middle school field trip to a different state. One of the chaperones (a large black woman) wanted to get in a little nap in the back seat of the bus, so she made one of the students move to a seat in the front that was far from his friends. He got in the seat and started sulking. He was normally a pretty lively kid, so I leaned forward and asked what happened.

To which he replied: "I think I just got reverse Rosa Parks-ed!"

- almost_queen

The Moon

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I teach sophomores. One day, this girl was sitting at her desk, looking very concerned, and obviously wanted to ask me something. Finally, she blurted out, "Did anybody else see the moon in the sky during lunch? It's supposed to be out at night, something is wrong!"

- cubfanbybirth

Physically

Teacher to student: "Were you in class yesterday?"

Student, sounding more lost than anything and probably answering too honestly: "Physically... ?"

It wasn't so much an attempt at humor as just the summation of how we all felt in that class, one of those "it's funny because it's too true" things... we all were showing up, we were all sitting in the class physically... but being there? That was another question...

- Allisade

The Ladies

First grade. 6 yr. old lil dude about 3 ft. tall and 80 lbs. walks in late from recess.

Me - "Why are you late?"

Kid - grabs his hunk of belly with both hands like a ball of cream cheese and says "The ladies love this!"

Sits down like nothing happen with no smile.

- BoBoShaws

Synchronized

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He asked me "If a synchronized swimmer starts drowning, do they all start drowning?"

I lost it in class.

- bunsenbernerr

It's A Miracle

I teach high school, and one of my sophomores referred to merry-go-rounds as "miracle rounds". He legit thought that's what they were called 😂😂 I corrected him and he refused to believe me lol.

- royalredhead

The Pizza Guy

I was sharing information about math in art to my students (they're about 13 years old) and mentioned Leonardo da Vinci. A student said: "The pizza guy?"

I was confused, but later she said, "See! The pizza party!"

We were looking at The Last Supper.

- catpflug

Astronomy

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"I thought Astronomy would be easy because I know all about it but he hasn't even brought up horoscopes yet and we're 6 weeks in."

- chrisrayn

Budget Cuts

I teach band. One day I'm working with the high school jazz band and we're going to start mapping out some basic compositions. I pass out blank sheet music for them to use, which is simply blank 5-line staves with no notes, no symbols, etc.

One kid gets his sheet music expecting it to be a new song we're going to work on, sees that it's blank, looks up and says "Wow, budget cuts must've hit us hard, huh?"

- SquirrelSanctuary

Life Choices

Math prof. I finished a proof and to check understanding, I asked "does everyone understand my choices?" One of my favorite students ever piped up and said "Are we talking about your proof or how you've chosen to live your life?"

- coldstainlessnail

Before

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Wore a Captain America shirt to school since the student council had a super hero day. A student said I looked like Captain America - before the super soldier injections.

- numero1uno

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