Customer Service Employees Divulge The One Thing They Never Thought They'd Have To Explain To An Adult

You Understand What Profits Are, Right?

That we sell stuff for a higher price than we buy it in for.

They were genuinely angry that we didn't buy their crap for the same price we sold it at

Redwood_soft_boy

We Don't Control The Weather, Ma'am.

That if you order ice cream for 4 people on a hot summer day, but the 4 people are still like 30 minutes away, said ice cream is going to melt before the 4 people get there.

And no, that is not my fault.

mandaman1608

The Science Doesn't Check Out On That One

My first job at 16 was Party City. One day, I'm blowing up balloons at the balloon counter and a lady comes up to buy some latex balloons. I ask if she wants us to fill them and she said no, she'd do it at home. Making small talk, I said oh you must have one of the party time helium tasks at home.

"No, I blow them up with my mouth. You just put the string on them and they float!"

I do the multiple blinks, trying to work out in my head what she's just said. She fully believed she could blow up the balloons with her mouth and the magic was attaching a string. I tried to give this woman an impromptu chemistry lesson. She insisted.

I still think about that magic woman to this day.

LadyBearJenna

Just A Short List

Oh, so so so many things.

1. If you wish to return an item you must present the item and your receipt. I cannot process a refund if you have neither.
2. No, we do not sell asbestos. No, I cannot order some in for you.
3. When water boils it does indeed produce "bubbles". If the water is bubbling once it reaches temperature your kettle is in fact working properly.
4. Zip ties are not simply 'disposable handcuffs'. They can be used for other purposes and it should not be concerning nor surprising that a hardware store sells them.

That's What Directions Are For

You need to take the suppositories out of their foil packaging before you use them.

He complained that they didn't work and were uncomfortable.

I bet they were.

EmptyPomoc

Crazy How That Works, Huh?

A dialogue I actually had to have with a grown adult:

Him, pointing at the price tag on a shirt: "Excuse me, what do these numbers represent?"

Me: "The numbers right after the dollar sign?"

Him: "Yes."

Me: "That's the price of the shirt."

Him: "Oh, I see! Thank you!"

At least he was friendly.

elevenfish

The Math Checks Out On That One

You can't apply a coupon if you 1) don't have it with you and 2) doesn't even apply to wtf you ordered

CrazyQueen502

You Understand We Have A Limited Space Here, Right?

The library does not stock every book in existence.

Okorela

Also, the library has a finite number of copies of each book it does have. You are not the only one to have the brilliant idea of borrowing an insanely popular new title instead of buying it. In fact, you're #387 on the list, and we only have four copies.

jemmo_

Handling College Parents Must Be A Nightmare

Years ago I worked in student housing at a university and had to explain to a father, for well over an hour, that I could not make sure that his daughter was in her room by 8 PM and ensure that she never spoke to boys.

kor_hookmaster

I worked at a college. Dear Christ the helicopter parents!

"Can you look up the transactions on my child's account and send them to me?"

"Nope."

"Why not?

"Because your child is a legal adult and we protect their privacy."

"I'm their parent. They don't need privacy from me!"

"That's between you and them. The laws protect their privacy from everyone including their parent."

"Im their guardian and entitled to this information!"

"Without a court order, 18 year olds (or 22 year olds for that matter in some cases) do not have legal guardians."

"I'm going to report this to the Dean!"

"Please do as it will let them know I'm doing my job."

Zazenp

Wow...WOW...

- Hello, I made an online order and I see that you've charged me "X amount" for shipping cost twice.

- Hmm, that's weird, let me check...No, I see that it's the right amount sir.

- You are wrong, I've made 2 orders and I've already paid the shipping cost for the 1st one, I shouldn't have to pay twice.

- Oh, I see! You've made 2 orders, sure, we can make it one package and only charge you once for the shipping, but can you tell me the order numbers for your orders, because the system shows me that you've only placed one today.

- Yeah, the second one was not placed today...

-...When was it placed sir?

- I don't know, like 3-4 months ago, but still, I've PAID for the shipping cost before, why would I have to pay AGAIN?

Baator

Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.