After a solid year-long relationship with her boyfriend, a young woman found herself suddenly rethinking everything.
It all began during a harmless conversation about past relationships.
Her story shows that a single piece of information can completely change a person in your eyes.
She shared her biggest regret with an ex and he shared his. But she had no idea just how much he would up the ante with his response.
His story was such a shock that she was left seriously considering if things could go on at all. The inner struggle even reached the point where she needed advice.
So she took to the internet, specifically Reddit's "Relationship Advice" subReddit, to iron out whether her response was valid, over-dramatic or off the mark entirely. The strangers of the internet did not disappoint.
"ThrowRAimeeV" is her name on Reddit. That name and the circumstances make it clear this was a secret appeal for advice, harder still to hide thanks to life at home during the pandemic.
As her written story explained, it all began harmlessly enough.
"My boyfriend and I have dated for over a year now. Things have been great. I even moved into his apartment since the whole quarantine started. Over the weekend we were drinking a little wine and talking about our past relationships when I asked him what was the worst thing he did to an ex."
"I asked this question after telling him a funny story about my ex so I thought he would do the same but what he revealed shocked me."
When it was his turn, he abruptly took all the lightness out of the game.
"He said that he took the dog he shared with his ex fiancee to the vet and had him euthanized."
"There was absolutely nothing wrong with the dog. My boyfriend was angry over the break up. His ex fiance wanted nothing more to do with him but had asked to take their dog with her."
"He had felt his ex fiancee loved the dog more so he had asked for one more day with the dog, drove to the vet and watched their dog of 6 years get put to death."
She was utterly appalled by the discovery.
"I'm an animal lover but I don't want any pets because I don't have the means or time to take care of them. That said, I would never punish an animal because of what's happening between me and another person."
"And God, the way my boyfriend told this story with this small smile on his face. It scared and disgusted me."
That disgust did not stay in a vacuum, confined to the game and the moment only.
The information stayed on her mind and emotional turmoil grew.
"It's been almost 4 days since he told me and things between us are now weird. He tried to initiate sex today but I told him I was tired and needed to sleep but I'm still wide awake. I can't stop thinking about what he did."
"By all accounts my boyfriend was a wonderful, loving and caring man but now I see him in a new light. I told my close friends about this and they don't see what's the problem. They asked if I'm really going to break up a stable relationship over what he did to a dog over 8 years ago but they didn't see the look on his face when he told me."
"I'm sure a part of him had enjoyed it. If he's willing to euthanized a dog over a break up then what isn't he willing to do?"
Her discomfort eventually grew too much for her to feel comfortable around him.
She found herself stuck not knowing what the next move should be.
She made multiple appeals for wisdom at the close of her post.
"I don't know what to do. I broke my lease to come live with my boyfriend but...there's a part of me that doesn't want to stay here anymore."
"Has anyone else ever dealt with this kind of thing? Dated someone who euthanized their healthy pet out of spite? What did you do and what should I do? I'm so confused."
"(I did reach out to his ex fiancee to confirm if the story was true and she told me it was but to never contact her again before blocking me on Facebook.)"
The Reddit community shared her disgust.
They urged her to get out of that house and the relationship.
"Um. To answer your question, no, I have never 'dealt with this kind of thing.' "
"I am sorry you broke your lease. Can you go stay with your parents perhaps?"
"I'm not even an animal lover myself (they're cute and stuff, but not for me), but this is some sick sh*t. You are fully validated in your reason for not being able to look at him the same after knowing this. Who knows what this monster is capable of."
"But really, there's no justification in his action. And the fact that he's sharing that story with no regret or shame speaks volumes. You shouldn't look past that." -- SaintJacque7ine
"I work in a psychology field...Acts of benevolence are unfortunately no guarantee for future performance, whereas just one act of cruelty is highly predictive and will almost certainly be repeated."
"Consider this a warning. If this is what he's capable of doing to an innocent, doting animal that trusted him to look after him, what will he be capable of doing to you if you get on his bad side? I suspect that you've just seen the tip of an iceberg that is big enough to sink you both."
"Seriously, don't question yourself further, don't listen to your friends. Get out of that relationship." -- passiveobserver88
"End it, get a new lease, don't contact his past partners further, and don't have ongoing communication with him once you end the relationship."
"I'm willing to bet you are strong enough to deal with some housing inconvenience and upheaval to avoid the continuation of a relationship and living situation that clearly makes your skin crawl."
"Also what is up with your friends that they don't think something is wrong with that behavior? Yikes." -- lioshif258
Some comments carried the same message, but delivered it bluntly.
"That's some psychopathic stuff right there! Run sis!" -- elementarymydear024
"That is a red flag the size of Alaska. You need to run yesterday." -- lexisplays
"I didn't even read the description, the title was enough. Get. The. Hell. Out. Of. There." -- CosinesCosines
"REDDEST FLAG EVER" -- idlewildgirl
Other comments pointed to a secondary concern upon reading the story.
How did he even manage to do what he did?
"What kind of veterinarian would euthanize a healthy dog?????????????????" -- lol1015
"I'm not only furious with your boyfriend for doing this to a living creature who he had plenty of memories with."
"I'm furious with whatever veterinarian he took that dog to and just asked them to put it to sleep. That should be illegal. It's cruel and makes my heart hurt. Imagine their faces when he tells them what they want them to do and they just shrug and say 'okay.' " -- ThrowRAValkyrie
The saga did not end with the comments.
She returned to provide a brief update about where things stood.
"I texted my siblings this morning after my boyfriend left for work. I didn't tell them the entire story but told them I'm feeling unsafe with my boyfriend."
"My brother-in-law has relatives in the area who agreed to help me move out my things from the apartment and to be here just in case things turn ugly. I will be staying with them until my brothers can drive down here to pick me up."
"A part of me feels like this is too extreme and I'm causing everyone problems but I'm thankful for the support. I also want to thank everyone who left kind comments and gave me their advice/feedback. I'm going to have the [moderators] lock down the post. I'll try to update at a later date. Thanks again."
And so, the resounding chorus of internet voices calling for her to get out was heeded.
Updates like these go far in showing that advice on a forum—especially in the form of a deluge of the same conclusion—can help tip the scales and push a person to make the difficult choice they know they have to make.
*If you enjoyed this article, you can read more like it by clicking on the Relationship Advice link below.*
The book The Little Black Book of Big Red Flags: Relationship Warning Signs You Totally Spotted... But Chose to Ignore is available here.
