Our gut instincts can signal to us that a situation may possibly take a turn for the worse.
Whether it's a doomed relationship or a job in the balance, these red flags give us ample time to prepare ourselves to back out before it's too late.
But sometimes, we pass these warning signs off as a fluke but learn too late after things go south, leaving us to live with regrets.
With hindsight being 20/20, strangers shared their experiences after Redditor DEMOSTOCKEDCKED asked:
"Whats the biggest red-flag you've ever seen but ignored it?"
Red flags seem to pop up most in romantic relationships.
The Mastermind
"She told me she's very manipulative. Turns out she's very manipulative."
– Ganda1fderBlaue
"At least she’s upfront about it!"
– StinkiePete
"That was part of the manipulation!"
– RestlessKaty
Two-Timing Thespian
"He still lived with his 'ex' girlfriend. She wasn’t his ex… he was dating both of us at the same time. But he gave me this big sob story about how he had nowhere to live me being so naive, believed him."
– Cute-Hottie
"I dated one of those. I had a gut feeling and found his 'best friend/roommate's Instagram. Luckily, it was public, and she had pictures of them kissing on the beach the week before. He tried to claim they were just being silly best friends. I stopped wasting my time."
– narcolepticadicts
Lawbreaker
"He got arrested on our first date."
– AngelicAdornn
"My first ever boyfriend got arrested within a few weeks of us dating because he had a bench warrant. In hindsight, probably not the best choice of partner, lol."
– Counterbudd
"Security Relationship"
"My partner of over a year didn’t reach out to me for 5 days after I had major surgery. My first ever surgery, and one considered to be an amputation. Not a single text. I saw him through the very same surgery years before when we were only college roommates."
"When I reached out to him while still bed-bound and asked why the radio silence, he said he 'had his own stuff going on' with his mental health. Like he always did. I’ve never felt as lonely as I did in that relationship".
"I stayed another year and a half before deciding he didn’t actually care about me specifically; he just wanted the security of a relationship and I probably could have been replaced by anyone. I will never date someone who isn’t objectively stoked about it ever again."
– Former-Finish4653
Coming And Going
"He arrived carrying only a single black rubbish bag filled with his possessions, but claimed that his home had burned down.🚩🚩🚩 A little over a year later, he left with a black garbage bag full of his possessions, therefore our place must have burned down as well!"
– Radiant-RRose
Not Invested
"Keeping an emotional distance. It's hard to notice when you're smitten, but it's a huge red flag when they keep you at arm's length but close enough to not make you feel neglected."
– Naughtyx-Angel
Temper Temper
"I watched my ex-wife have a temper tantrum in a parking lot. The car in front of her didn't pull into a spot fast enough for her. I put it down to her being tired, four years of her being tired."
– Register-Honest
Nudist Connoisseur
"I was with my ex for almost three years, and because of strange situations, I felt the need to search through his phone, and I found a message saved on Snapchat with his girl best friend saying that he wanted to see her naked. I talked with him about it, and he told me that he said that bc all his friend group were planning to go to a nudist spa. I believed him and forgave him."
– KuroTenhi
Likely Excuse
"Not me but my sister. When I first met her new boyfriend, I asked if he had any kids. Pretty straightforward and normal question. He got really awkward and gave an evasive answer of basically “it’s complicated.” It’s not complicated, he just has kids he doesn’t see or support. 🚩🚩🚩"
– obviousgaijin
All In The Family
"Drove 1500 miles to meet her family. When I got to their home in super rural Missouri, her brother was being interviewed by producers from the Jerry Springer show because their grandpa (29 years older than them) had stolen his girlfriend."
– intensenerd
Not The Marrying Kind
"On a first date with the now ex boyfriend. He constantly talked about his ex. Disparagingly. Should’ve ducked & ran. 4 months of being gaslit, love bombed. The first week we met he asked me to marry him. I said no. You don’t know me. And when you do, you won’t like what you see."
"We also fought almost every day. Very stressful. He was also very jealous & insecure. My favorite thing about him was him telling people I barely knew about personal stuff from our relationship."
"Things I thought were going to be between us. The only time in my whole life that I’ve gone to my mother for relationship advice. My piece of advice is whatever happens between partners should stay between partners."
– ImportantVictory5386
Things didn't fare better outside of romantic situations.
It's Conditional
"The biggest red flag is my best friend of seven years, always using me and taking advantage of me, only caring for herself like it was a one-sided friendship where she would come to me when she wants comfort and I would comfort her and make her feel better."
"And the minute she feels better she hung up so it's always about her, she would only call if she wants to talk about herself, would ask me to hang out only if she doesn't have a ride, if she asks me to hang out it would be the places that she wants ONLY, she likes anime stuff so we would go to anime festival abd movies."
"It was never the places that I wanted to go to, she would never ask me how I'm doing or how am I?, Even when my dad had a serious accident. She didn't ask How is he or comforted me ,the only thing she said was 'so you can't drive us to that festival anymore?' "
"And then called me the day of the festival and asked again if I can 'drive her' I thought she meant us going together so I said no I can't I'm sitting with my dad, she said it will only take 20 minutes, just come and drive me and then go back to your dad and than I can call you when I'm done to take me back home I really don't know How did I not see it."
– My-self-n-only
The Intrigue
"His friends literally told me to stay away from him. That should have been a giant red flag. But noooo, it only intrigued me more. "
– NuclearFamilyReactor
Peace Out
"I worked at a place in 2014 that didn't direct deposit because too many people would quit on payday."
– West-Improvement2449
Health Scare
" This is a bit different than others here, as it’s not about a significant other, but about my dad. "
"Around the end of Feb 2019, my dad and I went to pick up the puppy we’d just adopted. It was a bit of a walk from our van to the house, and my dad felt like he couldn’t make it. He had been having a bit of weakness and fatigue for a few months, that he kept saying was just from 'getting older' and he kept saying he was fine."
"He would keep saying 'I’m fine, don’t worry.' I believed him at the time. I went and got our pup myself while he waited in the van. I asked what he was feeling but he just said he was tired and that he’d be fine. The next day, he couldn’t stand or walk."
"I called an ambulance. After 8 hours in the ER, it turned out his kidneys had completely failed, and his body was flooded with the waste his kidneys couldn’t remove. Dialysis 3x weekly for the rest of his life."
"It was the first of many health problems, resulting from smoking and diabetes, that ultimately took him from us last year. Far too young (65). Don’t ignore the red flags for those you love. Push them to see a doctor. "
– Jagasi
Never underestimate the power of red flags.
They're there for a reason.
Have you experienced deep regret for ignoring the warning signs that are there to protect us?
