The Fastest Ways To Ruin A Wedding

I once heard a drunk uncle toast the bride and groom with... "Ah, I give it six months. Cheers."

Stolen

"Propose. If someone gets engaged at my wedding, imma die at their funeral that's a promise."

"Ultimate thunder steal."

xDuke46

See Ya at the Next One...

"My youngest brother made the following toast at the middle brother's wedding: 'This will be a great first marriage for the both of you.' I thought my mother would kill him."

honest_true_man

"There was a Married with children episode where Kelly went to a bar with a group of friends. When she sees a hot rich guy she says something like 'Oh my God look at him, he's the ex-husband of my dreams.' Find it funny to this day."

groundbeef_smoothie

Be Quiet!

"Literally anything that steals the thunder of the bride. Like announcing someone's pregnancy, proposing to your partner, or even wearing something more elegant than the bride's gown."

Natural-Resort

"Bringing your baby that was only a few days old, who no one had met yet, and standing in the doorway so all the guests can flock around you."

Its_Mrs_Nesbitt

"And the baby will eventually cry out loud during the ceremony."

Natural-Resort

Scandal

"Announce out loud that you slept with the bride or groom (preferably whichever is the same sex as you)."

Plastic_Dependent_95

"I'll do you one better. Announce you slept with *both* of them."

DoctorWatchamacallit

Just Kidding

"Say 'I don’t' at the moment the bride says 'I do.'"

MyDearDoughnut

"Or respond to 'I do' with 'Why? You can do so much better than me.' Then shout to the best man, 'You're single, right? Get up here.'"

Duane_S_Hall

This isn't comedy hour people. Try your material somewhere else.

Excuse Me?

"Show up in a wedding dress with your BF and ask the couple if they mind if you tag along since everything is already set up and paid for."

JanuarySoCold

Behave

"Bringing your poorly disciplined rambunctious young children."

WackyTabbacy42069

"Poorly disciplined is definitely key here. My kid was included on the invite and was rambunctious right before everything started, so I hauled his little butt out so his two year old lunacy wouldn't ruin the event."

"He calmed down and is in the pictures looking angelic, danced a ton at the reception, and loved being a part of the toast with his sparkling apple 'champagne.' Don't bring your kid and ignore them when they're being a**holes."

HulloMrsCumberdale

"this way"

"In most places a marriage certificate needs a witness or two to be valid so what you need to do immediately before people start filing in, turn all of the chairs to be facing the back - as people are still filing in, pull fuses from the switchboard, plunging the venue into darkness."

"Lock all but one of the doors, have an accomplice in a high vis vest shout, 'this way' but where he leads them is into the back of a truck that immediately starts heading for an international border. Pay the driver well enough for him to never contact you again. If any nameplates were put out of the reception tables then shred them. No witnesses, no wedding. Shoot your accomplice."

totodododo

Shake it Off

"Start dry humping the bride's leg like a dog on the dancefloor as a joke like my cousin did and get way too into it and not let her go even when she's clearly trying to shake you off and crying. Good Lord some people should just not drink."

Flaky-Fellatio

"And this is one of the many reasons there will be no alcohol at my wedding."

MiaLedger

Oh My...

"'It's nice to see them together! The bride's legs, that is.'"

SheepSurfz

"'I promise you, her family will leave the restaurant.'"

dfBishop

How are all of these ideas not just a "don't do" given?

Be mindful of others people.