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Family is everything. But... family is also crazy and burdened with deep secrets. When we start to excavate some of those secrets we learn why some much makes sense and we learn things we can NEVER unlearn!


Redditor u/starman123 wanted to hear about everyone else's family dramas by asking..... Reddit, what parts of your family history is interesting?

You're Banished!

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My great uncle traced our family back 14 generations. We tried to take over in Wales, failed and were then banished.

dansden

The Community Stain. 

Interesting, if not incredibly sad. I had a great great grandma (or aunt, can't remember) who had 13 children out of wedlock, all by different men. She was nicknamed notoriously loose Julie by her town. The doctor told her not to have anymore children after the 12th, but she did so, and both her and that baby died.

The community felt she was such a stain on the town's reputation they refused to bury her in the town cemetery (back in the old days, small town). PeppermintCarnations

The Affair.

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Grandfather had an affair with my grandmother's sister. He got her pregnant and when the little boy turned 7, he went to live with my grandparents... and they raised him as their own. The pain my grandmother must have felt is insane. I didn't learn this until this year at 36. London82

To Australia! 

My Swedish ancestors arrived to Australia by boat. When they arrived one of them got crushed by a crate that fell off a crane on the docks. He made it all the way and didn't even get to set foot in Australia. nimernith

The Loop.

My family tree has this one branch that loops back to itself... The_Blatalian

Oh yeah? My family tree is essentially a family diamond.

My dad is my cousin and my grandpa is my uncle.

No, I'm not kidding. lukan2

Just the 2 of Us.

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My grandfather is an identical twin. During WW2 he joined the military and his twin took his place at his job. Grandfather got out of the army made up a new name he's been going by since. handsthefram

Generations. 

Women in my family have been going to college for seven generations (since the 1840s). Most of them have Master's degrees

Also one of these women (either my g-grandma or my g-g-grandma) was involved in the first car wreck in her city as a teenager when she stole her parent's car and drove it into a horse-drawn buggy. A legend. beesareoutthere

The Tilleys....

There were two Tilley's on the Mayflower that I could potentially be very distant relatives to. Apparently a prostitute and a horse thief. cockapooch

Elizabeth Tilley is my 14th great grandmother. No word on her profession or penchant for equine thievery. hedpe70

Wife 2.0

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My great grandfather came over from Germany with his wife. They had one child, but her second was an ectopic pregnancy, which killed her. So he brought her older sister over from Germany and made her wife 2.0. littlest_ginger

Shatner/Eastwood.

I have pictures of my great great grandpa, great grandpa, regular old grandpa and dad. They look exactly alike. You couldn't tell them apart.

My dad just had girls, but my sister has a son and he looks exactly like my dad. They all look like a William Shatner and Clint Eastwood combo. The male genes are strong in our family.

ETA - all the girls in our family look like their mothers. My sister and I are a carbon copy of our mom, my aunts look nothing like my grandpa. If I was standing next to my dad you'd never know we were related. It's like the DNA said 'I have one job and one job only.'

REDDIT

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@arlenedegaf/Twitter

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If you've ever worked with kids you know that their honesty and lack of filter can sometimes make them cringeworthy - and pretty hilarious.

If you haven't (or you don't have a thick skin) then you might not be able to appreciate just how funny kids can actually be. For those who can, this article should be a blast.

Reddit user moosepajamas asked:

Teachers of Reddit, what is the funniest thing you've ever heard a student say?

The answers could sometimes be insulting, sometimes silly, and sometimes downright baffling - just like kids themselves!


September 31

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One time I was asking students their birthdays. One boy told me that his birthday was September 31st. I tried to explain that this was not possible, but he insisted. Later, I looked it up. I then informed him that his birthday was November 17th.

He looked at me kind of confused and said "ohhhh." Then his face brightened and he said, "Well, last year I KNOW it was September 31st!"

- RedditStateOfMind

Jesus

I teach elementary band. One time we were preparing for a challenging playing test and a student said: "Man, I need to practice."

Without missing a beat the kid next to him says "My mom says I need Jesus."

- moosepajamas

Shown Up By A 5th Grader

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Was tutoring after-school a couple years ago. A kid asked "What time is it?"

I joked "Time for you to get a watch."

He responded "Time for you to get a new joke" without a moment's hesitation.

I had to laugh at getting shown up by a 5th grader. Two reading levels behind but witty as hell.

- Garlic_And_Sapphires

Jogathon

I had a student who was a newcomer (just moved to the US, almost no English) from Latvia. This kid is very bright and was one of my favorite 6th graders ever. We were having our annual jogathon, which is linguistically and culturally not translatable from Latvian.

Student: "So I pay you and you make me run?"

Me: "Yeah, that's actually how it goes."

Student: "This is simple. I don't pay you, you don't make me run."

Me: "uhhhh...."

- estrogyn

Rosa

Middle school field trip to a different state. One of the chaperones (a large black woman) wanted to get in a little nap in the back seat of the bus, so she made one of the students move to a seat in the front that was far from his friends. He got in the seat and started sulking. He was normally a pretty lively kid, so I leaned forward and asked what happened.

To which he replied: "I think I just got reverse Rosa Parks-ed!"

- almost_queen

The Moon

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I teach sophomores. One day, this girl was sitting at her desk, looking very concerned, and obviously wanted to ask me something. Finally, she blurted out, "Did anybody else see the moon in the sky during lunch? It's supposed to be out at night, something is wrong!"

- cubfanbybirth

Physically

Teacher to student: "Were you in class yesterday?"

Student, sounding more lost than anything and probably answering too honestly: "Physically... ?"

It wasn't so much an attempt at humor as just the summation of how we all felt in that class, one of those "it's funny because it's too true" things... we all were showing up, we were all sitting in the class physically... but being there? That was another question...

- Allisade

The Ladies

First grade. 6 yr. old lil dude about 3 ft. tall and 80 lbs. walks in late from recess.

Me - "Why are you late?"

Kid - grabs his hunk of belly with both hands like a ball of cream cheese and says "The ladies love this!"

Sits down like nothing happen with no smile.

- BoBoShaws

Synchronized

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He asked me "If a synchronized swimmer starts drowning, do they all start drowning?"

I lost it in class.

- bunsenbernerr

It's A Miracle

I teach high school, and one of my sophomores referred to merry-go-rounds as "miracle rounds". He legit thought that's what they were called 😂😂 I corrected him and he refused to believe me lol.

- royalredhead

The Pizza Guy

I was sharing information about math in art to my students (they're about 13 years old) and mentioned Leonardo da Vinci. A student said: "The pizza guy?"

I was confused, but later she said, "See! The pizza party!"

We were looking at The Last Supper.

- catpflug

Astronomy

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"I thought Astronomy would be easy because I know all about it but he hasn't even brought up horoscopes yet and we're 6 weeks in."

- chrisrayn

Budget Cuts

I teach band. One day I'm working with the high school jazz band and we're going to start mapping out some basic compositions. I pass out blank sheet music for them to use, which is simply blank 5-line staves with no notes, no symbols, etc.

One kid gets his sheet music expecting it to be a new song we're going to work on, sees that it's blank, looks up and says "Wow, budget cuts must've hit us hard, huh?"

- SquirrelSanctuary

Life Choices

Math prof. I finished a proof and to check understanding, I asked "does everyone understand my choices?" One of my favorite students ever piped up and said "Are we talking about your proof or how you've chosen to live your life?"

- coldstainlessnail

Before

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Wore a Captain America shirt to school since the student council had a super hero day. A student said I looked like Captain America - before the super soldier injections.

- numero1uno

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