A West Virginia woman who is vehemently against pornography shared her strategy to ensure her husband, who is in recovery from porn addiction, avoided seeing sexually explicit scenes in the movie Oppenheimer.
In the film about the life of theoretical astrophysicist Julius Robert Oppenheimer, directed by Christopher Nolan, there are flashback scenes in which Cillian Murphy, as Oppenheimer, has love scenes with Communist Party USA member and real-life romantic partner Jean Tatlock, who is played by Florence Pugh.
Jourdan Kehr, a.k.a. TikToker @thatsnotlove, explained to followers that during those steamy moments, she had her husband close his eyes to avoid getting "triggered."
In response to a follower who wanted to see Oppenheimer with her husband but was "fully afraid of the Florence Pugh scene everyone is talking about," Kehr said that she researches everything before watching anything—including movies, concerts, or an "event."
"Especially this movie. I heard about it," she said of the scenes with Pugh.
One of the scenes people were buzzing about was when Jean Tatlock straddled Oppenheimer, who was married at the time and feeling distant at the moment, and asked him to read aloud a Sanskrit passage from a book she grabbed off the shelf.
She continues to have sex with him as he recites, “Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds." The passage is referred to later in the film when Oppenheimer detonates the first atomic bomb.
Despite hearing about the scene, Kehr said of the movie:
"Yes, we wanted to see it. It has an amazing rating. We prepared ourselves."
However, she said it was difficult to avoid other suggestive scenes because they were presented intermittently throughout the movie in a series of flashbacks.
Kehr talked about how she and her husband have had discussions about their protective protocol.
“Obviously, my husband and I talk about everything—if we go anywhere, or we go see anything, even if it’s a concert movie, an event, we have a game plan."
"We talk about things. Like, what if you get triggered? What if I get triggered?”
“Because I don’t want my night to be ruined by being triggered by something on a screen.”
Kehr said that "when things were happening" during Oppenheimer, her husband closed his eyes and laid his head on her shoulder until she indicated to him the naughty bit was over, at which time he would resume watching the movie.
She continued:
"It literally, and I will tell you what, right now. It took nothing away from the story."
"Him not looking at the screen during [sex scenes] did not change the storyline, did not change anything."
Kehr concluded the clip with:
"Have a plan. Talk about it before you go."
One issue that some people had with Kehr's anti-porn message was the suggestion that all pornography—even scenes depicting sex in movies—is harmful and that indulging in porn is tantamount to cheating.
It is a view shared by many conservatives and far-right Christians, particularly women claiming to be feminists, and it villainizes and shames female sex workers, who are often attacked for their line of work.
People had some thoughts.
After reading through the comments, Kehr explained in a follow-up video that her behavior was in response to suffering from "betrayal trauma."
She said:
“I went through betrayal trauma 10 months ago after nine years of marriage, 10 years of being in a completely monogamous relationship."
“I was fully under the belief that he didn't look at other women, he didn't self-pleasure at other women, porn was the furthest thing from my mind."
“I never would have thought or believed that he was using porn but he was and I found out about it on September 17, 2022.
"That was the hardest day of my life. It was the hardest following weeks and following months of my life.”
Some people gave her the benefit of the doubt.
She continued:
“Betrayal trauma has changed me as a person inside and out."
“It put me through a lot of stress. It put me through a lot of pain."
"It put me through sickness. It put me through depression. Gave me a lot of stress and a lot of anxiety."
However, a strong majority of people still couldn't get on board the sympathy train.
Kehr said of her husband's sobriety from porn addiction:
“I've come a long way in my healing... I'm still with my husband and I'm so happy and I'm so thankful and I'm so proud to say that he's been sober for 10 months."
“He's been doing all the steps, all the work, everything necessary to not only change, stay sober and reach long-term recovery but to also assure me that he is creating a safe space, he is becoming a trustworthy person and he is showing me the signs that I need by his actions, his behaviors and his patterns that he is going in the right direction.”
However, lo and behold...
Some found Kehr's view was not so shocking since a little internet sleuthing revealed Kehr was a right-wing Christian who would ask her husband if he frequently looked at other women.
X (formerly Twitter) user Beckaroo Banzai shared screenshots from an article on Kehr that was featured in the women's magazine, Evie.
The article mentioned a time when Kehr looked through her husband's search history on his phone and discovered a porn folder from nine years ago, around the time they got married.
When she confronted him on it, the husband broke down and admitted:
"There's something wrong with me. I don't know why I did this for so long."
The X user highlighted this as an example of:
"Typical purity culture–interest in any sexual content outside married heterosexual relations is considered deviant."
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Oppenheimer is currently playing in theaters.
It is Nolan's first R-rated film in 20 years.
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