Countless people unexpectedly find themselves at a point in their life where they are truly at a loss of what to do.
Sometimes having trouble simply getting out of bed, and getting on with their day.
Knowing that this requires help that is beyond the scope of their friends or family, they find themselves finding a therapist.
Intimidating as this can be, people who take the brave step to seek professional help often realize that it was the best decision they have ever made in their lives.
Sometimes even owing to one thing their therapist told them.
Redditor PuzzleHeaded9030 was curious to hear about revelatory moments people had while in therapy, leading them to ask:
"What did your therapist tell you that flipped the switch in your brain for the better?"
Be Mindful Who You Listen To...
"'That voice in your head isn't you. It's a voice you have heard'."
"'You have grown up with'."
"'You have learned'."
"'The best thing about learning is that it is never finished; you can learn a new voice'."
"I'm still ages away from replacing the voice but it has made many scenarios much easier to manage."- CoreyCasselsYo
Waiting Usually Leads To More Waiting...
"Had a breakthrough revelation."
"Expected everything to change."
"It didn't."
"She then explained to me that change doesn't come from merely understanding what your issues are but from doing the hard work to undo those ingrained behaviors."
"Oh. Damn."- feliciates
Validation Can Be Everything
"Honestly the most therapeutic thing a therapist has ever done is just widen her eyes in horror."
"It's so validating to realize that yes, in fact, that thing that happened WAS really messed up and I'm not the crazy one."- The_Unthought_Known
The Road Not Taken
"Though I’ve been to therapy, this one is something I read online randomly:"
"'Just because things could have been different, doesn’t mean it would have been better'."
"I basically took it as stop fretting about what you should have done differently or how people treated you."
"You could have done it completely differently, the way you wish you did and something negative could have still happened."
"What happened happened, you can’t live in the past."
"All you can do is move forward."- gmkings
Your Life Is Yours, And Yours Alone
"Quit invalidating your feelings just because you think others have it harder than you."
"It’s not a competition."- be_kind_2_each_other
Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda...
"That you can decide that being 80 or 90 percent sure you’re making the right decision can be enough."
"It’s never usually going to be 100%, so aim for 80 or 90."
"Also that I could potentially equally regret having another kid as much as not having one."
"I was so stuck in the fear of regretting not having more that I never considered the equal opposite could be true."
"Now happily one and done and feeling very confident in that choice."- trustme_imRN
Amazingly, Not Everyone Is Treated Like One...
"This might seem odd....but 3 weeks into working with her, at 30 years old, this therapist looks right at me and asks 'do you see yourself as a person?'"
"My brain broke in that moment."
"I felt like my understanding of myself shattered in the exact moment that suddenly everything made so much sense."
"You see, my whole life, my family treated me as a prop, an accessory, a program, an extension of themselves....anything but a whole, actual human."
"So I never saw myself as one."
"Any courtesy, kindness, or grace I would extend to others....I didn't deserve....because I wasn't a person."
"Since then, I try to ask myself some very pointed questions when I'm mean to myself."
"If someone else in the EXACT same situation told you about it, would you tell them they're overreacting?'"
"'If you saw someone else who looked EXACTLY like you wear that, would you think the same mean things about them that you're saying to yourself?'"
"'What would you say to someone else in the EXACT same situation?'"
"It's still a long road, and it didn't 'fix' me, but it gave me a LOT of perspective and started me on a healing journey I never knew I needed."- CirqueDuRaven
It Becomes Easier To Love Others When You Learn To Love Yourself
"Why is it your job to fix everyone?"
"Why are you always at fault or think you are?"
"Why can't you give yourself grace?"- Direct-Flamingo-1146
The First Sacrifice Doesn't Have To Be Yourself
"It's not your job to manage other people's feelings and happiness."
"Fill your cup first."
"Don't tear yourself down to build others up."
"Don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm."- Alltheprettydresses
It Is NEVER OK To Take Others Down To Pick Yourself Up
“'Happy people don’t pee in other people’s cheerios'.”
"It helped me look at criticism differently."
'More productively."- BeBraveShortStuff
Some Things Are Truly Out Of Our Control
"Stressful situation."
"1.) Is it something I can control?"
"2.) If not, don’t stress too much over it."
"3.) If yes, what is within my ability? What can I do about it to make it better?"- breezyvanillabeans
We Have Emotions For A Reason
"Feeling your feelings doesn't involve processing them with logic or tell yourself a story about why they're happening, it's listening to your body, realizing what muscles hurt, what feels tight, fluttery, nauseous, hot, cold, or whatever else."
"It's noticing the burning feeling in your eyes, the lump in your throat, or feeling so light you could float away."- wsilver
A Good Mentor Is Always There To Help
"I had a lot of fear of authority figures and so I avoided talking to admin at my medical school about any issues I was having."
"We traced it back to an experience I had with gun violence from an authority figure."
"He said, 'well, Dr. Neil doesn’t have a gun'."
"It seems really silly but that mantra really helped me."
"Whenever I’d talk to my dean, I would think to myself 'Dr. Neil doesn’t have a gun' and it would help me reassure myself that I was safe in that situation."
"I use that mantra for a lot of people now."- Impressive-Algae-382
At One Point Or Another, Everyone Has To Move On
"When putting up boundaries, 'They’ll be mad at first. Then they’ll get over it. They don’t have any other option'.”- UnlimitedKisses
It's very easy to feel like we're all alone in this world, with no one who might listen to us.
But there are ALWAYS people who are willing and able to help.
Taking that big first step and asking for help is one of the bravest things anyone can do.
@jaketapoer/Bluesky
@BillAckman/Twitter