Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

Straight Men Share The Strangest Things They've Been Told Not To Do Because 'It's Gay'

Straight Men Share The Strangest Things They've Been Told Not To Do Because 'It's Gay'

For many insecure fellas out there, anything that is not completely in line with the behavior of John Wayne in an old western film is to be avoided like the plague.

For such dudes, to really throw off the scent, not only is any and all emotionally expressive behavior NEVER displayed, but it must be called out when other, lesser men engage in that kind of moral transgression.


This finger pointing often takes a specific form: calling it "gay." It's a bit absurd, as the insult arises from a feeling that a man isn't performing gender right. But being gay has nothing to do with gender.

Hilarity ensues, though, when the calling out becomes so paranoid and vigilant that very strange things are deemed "gay."

u/ma_damn_blueberry asked, "Straight men of Reddit: what's the strangest thing you've been told not to do because 'that's gay'?"

A Real Man Would Start Over

Giphy

I was reading a book and a couple dudes called me gay. Not for reading a book, but because I was using a bookmark.

u/RJ1337

Unsustainable 

There was a thread on here a while back where some poor girl told the world about an ex who wouldn't wipe himself or wash his genitals cause "touching a penis is gay"

u/amc7262

Can't Imagine How Ugly the Cup Holder Dispute Got

Giphy

My brother-in-law and I went to a movie. He told me it was gay to sit next to him. I told him to stop being a b*tch and I sat right next to him. For the entire movie.

u/writerintheory1382

A Very Thin, Hollow, Dr. Pepper Filled Penis

Use a straw.

Because apparently it's like having a tiny peen in your mouth.

I still use straws and haven't had the urge to be with a man yet.

u/PI3M3I

"No Being Dry!"

Linen shopping. By my best friend.

That's nice bro, but I need towels. Deal with it.

u/Shiasurasa

A Far Cry From "No Thank You"

Giphy

A guy in the bus offered his seat to a woman that was standing. She looked at him and said "Are you gay or something?" like it's gay to be polite.

u/Akinory13

The Long Stem Mimosa Glass Really Set Off the Alarms

Brunch. If steak, eggs and alcohol at noon are gay, well then f*ck it.

u/knaugh

The Most Aggressive Review of a Pedicure

Get a pedicure. Holy f*ck that sh*t feels so good!

u/Ducas24

A Stone Would be Hotter

Giphy

Girl - "Oh, I thought you were gay"

Me - "What?!? Haha, noooo. Why did you think that?"

Girl - "Because you were smiling so big and laughing a lot"

u/Titanruss

Geographical Determinism

I grew up in California before moving to the east coast as a teenager.

I've been told all Californian's are gay or at least bi, more than once.

iph0ne

High Schoolers are Insane 

I wore my watch on my right hand. Apparently when i was in high school that gay as f*ck.

jumpstart58

Heterosexuality is Generated From the Plaque Between Your Teeth

Giphy

Floss my teeth.

Apparently, gingivitis is something only hetero people have.

DeadWombats

Bear in Tights 

I sew renaissance type costumes as a hobby. I've been told I should stop doing it because sewing is either gay or women's work.

On the plus side I am a 6'2 bear of a man so when I tell them to f*ck off, they usually leave it be.

BattleFerrett

Fleetwood Mac. Nuff Said.

Enjoy female singers/fronted bands. I came from a very stupid place with a very stupid culture.

mindfeces

Clearly a Huge Freud Fan

Giphy

My sister told me that her Psychology teacher explained that every man that went to see a prostitute were secretly gay because they were seeking out the previous man's penis inside the prostitute's vagina.

inckalt

"Citrus is a Fruit, My Hands are Tied"

Tried to order a Mojito at a bar back when they were all the rage since I had only heard of them and never tried one.

Waiter looked at me and said "No. You're not gay so i wont get that for you."

But...i just wanted to try a popular cocktail....

RemedialChaosTheory

Straight and Wet

My sister told me this gem.

Her male friend said he hated being a guy because he COULDN'T USE AN UMBRELLA.

BoilEmMashEmBoilEm

"Lactose Proficient" is an Incredible Phrase

Giphy

Drink milk. Especially chocolate milk. I've been singled out on 3 occasions, and was once called gay for it. By store clerks, no less.

I love milk and I'm lactose proficient, so I told them I'd use my lactose proficiency however I like.

BloodRedCobra

Gay is the New Respectful

Having friends that are girls that you don't sexually harass.

premium_hunger

More from News/lgbtq

Vivian Wilson
@vivllainous/Instagram

Elon Musk's Trans Daughter Just Made Her Drag Debut At An Anti-ICE Fundraiser—And Fans Are Obsessed

Elon Musk's disowned trans daughter Vivian Jenna Wilson has made a name for herself online for mercilessly dragging the father who once said she was "dead" to him because she was "killed by the woke mind virus."

But recently she took it to a new level, leveraging her fame in her first drag performance at a Los Angeles anti-ICE fundraiser.

Keep ReadingShow less
Donald Trump
Brendan Smialowski/AFP via Getty Images

Trump Administration Fast-Tracks Eliminating National Suicide Hotline's LGBTQ+ Youth Support

On Wednesday morning, news broke that the administration of MAGA Republican President Donald Trump was eliminating certain suicide and self harm resources provided through the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.

The lifeline offered callers options to speak to people who specialize in meeting their needs. But the Trump administration decided this was a service that LGBTQ+ young people don't deserve.

Keep ReadingShow less
Donald Trump
Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images

Trump Blasted For Announcing New Additions To The White House Lawn As Global Tensions Escalate

President Donald Trump was criticized after announcing that two new flagpoles would be added to the North and South Lawns of the White House—not the greatest look amid heightened global unease as tensions between Israel and Iran ramp up.

According to the Associated Press, Trump watched as a crane installed the newest flagpole on the South Lawn, remarking, “It’s such a beautiful pole.” He later returned to the site to salute as the American flag was raised for the first time.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshots of Donald Trump from CNN supercut
CNN

Trump Mocked For 'Two Weeks' Iran Deadline With Supercut Of All His 'Two Weeks' Promises

President Donald Trump has a history of promising to resolve problems within "two weeks," and a new viral supercut mocks him for all the times he's said as much—including right now with tensions in the Middle East higher than ever.

Trump said Thursday he will decide within two weeks whether to involve U.S. forces directly in the escalating conflict between Israel and Iran, citing what he called a “substantial chance” for renewed nuclear negotiations with Tehran.

Keep ReadingShow less
red flag with pole on seashore
Seoyeon Choi on Unsplash

People Break Down The 'Silent Red Flags' Folks Tend To Ignore In Relationships

A red flag has come to mean any warning sign in life, in addition to the literal red flags that are placed on beaches or industrial sites to warn people of danger.

People will respond to situations by saying, "That’s a red flag." But before that language evolved, they'd just call them "warning signs."

Keep ReadingShow less