Parenting is tough enough, but there is a definite gender gap, having kids of the opposite sex. Boys are gross, girls and loud, and everyone can agree that teenagers are usually awful.
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
Sounds like me in the shower.Giphy
Crying for no reason. My 10 year old daughter was in the shower and I heard her crying. I went in and asked her what was wrong.
"I don't know," she said. I just stood there like a dumba** staring at her for a few seconds trying to figure out how to respond. I finally said, "I'm gonna go get your mom."
That was my dad's experience too! He grew up with sisters, but his dad was very no-nonsense and wouldn't tolerate crying. My mom is very level headed and rarely emotional. And then of course he ends up with an emotional wreck of a daughter as soon as I hit puberty.
I remember coming home from school, putting some toast in the toaster, and just bursting into tears. The conversation went something like this:
"Did you burn the toast?"
"...did something happen at school?"
"No" (more sobbing)
"Why are you crying?"
"I don't know" (sobbing increases, and Dad just slowly backs out of the room).
Anytime I got emotional he would just disappear and go get my mom. He literally had never dealt with someone who would cry for no logical reason (meaning there was no problem for him to fix and make it better), and he was visibly uncomfortable and out of his element.
Ah the sex talk.
As a mom of both a boy and a girl...when I had the sex Ed talk with my daughter she was cringing and just wanted it to stop. Years later went to gave same convo with son. Told him if he had any questions I'd be more than happy to answer all of them. And boy did he! He STILL asks! Just last week (in front of three friends) son asks " mom , tell me again, what does a douche do". Dying inside.
This reminded me how the "girls are more mature" stereotype got totally destroyed way back in sex-ed at my school.
The whole time, almost all the girls were bright red and giggling to each other and snorting and saying "oh my god" every few seconds whereas us boys just acted like it was any old class (meaning there was the odd joke, but it was usually a throwaway line about a funny shaped penis or something). We'd ask questions, take part in discussions, fill out the worksheets with diagrams and presentations and the whole time the majority of the girls in the room just laughed at everything we had to say. Our teacher spent about 40% of every class sighing, furrowing her brows and saying "Girls! Please...".
Girls are full of surprises, if you're a guy raising them.Giphy
Three things have surprised me about my daughters.
- How early they form opinions on what they want to wear and what is cute. 14 months!
- How much they talk. It's a constant stream of data pouring out of them.
- How much of a challenge long hair is.
I have a boy and didn't expect him to have so strong opinions about what he likes to wear at 16 months of age either. He turned two in September and it only gets worse. I would have expected that behaviour from a girl, as I've been told numerous times by my mom that I, as a toddler, was extremely picky over clothes, would only wear dresses and threw tantrums over having to wear pants. It would seem my son takes after me. And my mom is laughing at me so hard.
This poor mom, she had no idea.
"Just learn to knock and wait. You will save yourself and him a great deal of embarrassment."
Watching my wife, who did not grow up around boys, learn and understand that boys are dirty, smelly, and gross is hilarious. I don't think she knew about pee on the seat or the floor. She didn't know they will make a gun out of everything even if they don't watch violent shows. And she is absolutely astounded to learn that "The groceries I just bought yesterday are gone!"
Once while our first born baby was in the tub playing with his penis she said "When do you think he will stop doing that?"
"I'll let you know." I said.
"When do you think he will stop doing that?"
When he's dead
Boys are lazy.
As the mom of a teenage boy, I have been surprised at how seemingly impossible it is to motivate him to do ANYTHING. Schoolwork, chores, anything at all.
The only surefire way to motivate a teenage boy is with a teenage girl.
You can tell when boys really start being into girls when all the sudden hygiene is a priority.
son: I need new shirts and some deodorant.
parent: what's her name?
Yes, yes it is.Giphy
Two-year-old boy who is potty training. I am amazed that he can be sitting perfectly on the potty, with his anatomy pointing down, and then pee all the way across the room from that position. Like, f*ck, is this why guys hold their weiners when they pee?
Imagine that it is like a water hose, if you crank up the water, it "straightens" real fast.
And sometimes it's splits into two beams both going in completely different directions than where you aimed.
I hate when I goes 90 f*cking degrees onto my foot somehow!!!
Girls can be just as gritty as boys.
My daughter is five, and the amount of poop/fart/pee/vagina jokes is shocking... like college frat house/army barracks level.
My 6-year-old keeps changing my Netflix login to really hurtful things like 'fart head', 'bum folds' and my least favorite 'fart accident'. I come in from work and she's got hiccups (laughing hysterically gives her hiccups) she hands me the remote so I can watch my shows and then waits for me to see. ;(
Sorry to be insensitive but your daughter is right, this is hilarious lol.
Penises are fragile.
I was unprepared for "penis injury". Everything else has been fairly smooth, but I honestly had no idea what to do, say, or even think when my poor 4yo dropped the heavy toilet seat on himself. There was horrible bruising, and he cried when he peed for about a week. And he knew I had no idea what it felt like so all my sympathy and offers of hugs were met with "you don't know!". No, sorry son, I really don't.
When my son was two he hurt his penis somehow, nothing serious. He turned to his mother and asked her to kiss it to make it better. She had to tell him no of course, but he didn't understand and was mad at her for a few days. First time I found out he can hold a grudge.