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With all of the world's most important leaders meeting in Europe simultaneously this week except him, Russian President Vladimir Putin had to find a way to pull focus. So of course, he went with the only natural choice—another absurdly large table.
Just months after his much mocked and memed meeting with French President Emanuel Macron at which he and Macron sat at opposite ends of a table long enough to seat at least 20 people with ease, Putin decided to one-up himself this week.
For a meeting with just five other people, Putin chose a rectangular table the size of a city block, seen below in a post from Anton Gerashchenko, Advisor to the Minister of Internal Affairs of Ukraine.
His post showed a photo of the nine-person meeting at the G7, at a normal table, beside Putin's farcically enormous spread.
Go big or go home, as the saying goes!
\u201cAbove - the G7 summit. \n9 people at the table. \n\nBelow - the Caspian summit (Putin is participating).\n5 people at the table.\u201d— Anton Gerashchenko (@Anton Gerashchenko) 1656520461
All eyes have been on Europe this week as leaders of much of the world were in Madrid and the German Alps for a NATO summit and this year's meeting of the G7, respectively.
At both gatherings, the hot topic was monetary and military support for Ukraine as it continues its fight against Putin's illegal invasion of the country and the resulting war that has just entered its fifth long month.
So Putin did what any dictator worth his salt would do--he had his own summit, the Caspian Summit, with his counterparts from Azerbaijan, Iran, Kazakhstan and Turkmenistan in the Turkmen capital of Ashgabat.
And he held it at an absolutely massive table. Like, the sort of massive table that has to be a joke, but somehow isn't? Just look at this thing.
\u201cPutin gets a bigger table every dam week. Feel like it\u2019s one of those share this so many times and I will make it bigger deals.\u201d— Reverend Winston (@Reverend Winston) 1656547256
Paint some lines on that tile floor and you could play an entire four-period game of American football inside that thing. Which brings up a very important question--how on Earth did anybody hear a word anyone was saying?
Also why are all those other people sitting at the perimeter of the meeting space? Was Putin all, "CAN'T SIT HERE" like those mean kids on Forrest Gump's school bus? Truly what is going on here?!
We'll of course likely never know, but Twitter has had an absolute field day laughing and eye-rolling at Putin's latest table game.
\u201chonestly can\u2019t stop thinking of this table at Putin\u2019s Caspian Summit in Turkmenistan, just can\u2019t, cannot, nope \u2014 still thinking \u2014 and now so are you\u201d— Alina Selyukh (@Alina Selyukh) 1656555039
\u201cPutin gets a bigger table every dam week. Feel like it\u2019s one of those share this so many times and I will make it bigger deals.\u201d— Reverend Winston (@Reverend Winston) 1656547256
\u201cThere are 5 world leaders attending today\u2019s Caspian Summit in Ashgabat. Putin is one of them. I think their table is too small.\u201d— Luke Coffey (@Luke Coffey) 1656530916
\u201cThe Putin table game is back at the Caspian summit being held in Turkmenistan. And this one is...well...huge!\u201d— Kabir Taneja (@Kabir Taneja) 1656525092
\u201cFirst photo: G7 Summit (nine people at the table)\nSecond photo: Caspian summit (four people and one Putin at the table)\nHow do you think can Putin's tables get even longer?\n#StandWithUkraine\u201d— Oleksandra Matviichuk (@Oleksandra Matviichuk) 1656534340
\u201cHave started dictator's "who's got biggest, stupidest table" competition.\u201d— Darth Putin (@Darth Putin) 1656556971
\u201cNothing odd at all \u2026.Putin at a summit table yesterday \u2026.\u201d— Mark Austin (@Mark Austin) 1656568697
\u201cPutin\u2019s table at the Caspian Sea summit in Turkmenistan yesterday. You could probably fit an entire hockey rink in the middle\u201d— max seddon (@max seddon) 1656569406
\u201cAnd you thought Putin's table in the Kremlin was long... [today at the Caspian Summit in Ashgabat \ud83c\udde6\ud83c\uddff\ud83c\uddee\ud83c\uddf7\ud83c\uddf9\ud83c\uddf2\ud83c\uddf7\ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\uddf0\ud83c\uddff]\u201d— Fran Olmos (@Fran Olmos) 1656509700
\u201cHas Vladimir Putin ever sat behind a normal table?\u201d— Byron Kaye (@Byron Kaye) 1656576712
We look forward to Putin's next meeting when he sits his guests at at opposite ends of the Great Wall of China or something.