People Share Signs Your Significant Other Doesn't Actually Love You

You may be on cloud nine with the person you're dating or have been in a relationship with you for a while.

But sometimes you may wonder if the feeling is mutual based on hints that the other person who is sharing your bed isn't exactly on the same page with you emotionally.

It's an awkward place to be in, and when it turns out your instincts were correct that something is off, it's a huge letdown.

Curious to hear examples of these, Redditor Christophe12591 asked:

"What are some signs your significant other DOES NOT love you?"

When it's all about them all of the time, it's time to reassess the relationship.

Second Best

"If they constantly prioritize everything else over you or never communicate their feelings, that's a major red flag!"

– McDonaldsCashierr

"Deprioritizing you was going to be my answer. If your partner cancels on you because something cooler came up, or you tell them you want something small and they never bother to do it for you, or they put their own job/feelings/whatever before yours at your expense, they’re not in it for you."

"Loving someone means supporting and sacrificing to make them happy. Some people can do that for big gestures, but on the micro level they aren’t willing to sacrifice anything."

"They’ll never sacrifice 10 minutes of playing video games to help you wash dishes when they know you’ve had a long way, or won’t be quiet at night even though they know their partner has an early day the next day."

"They’ll never volunteer to deal with the repair guy when they know you have a work presentation coming up and need to focus because that would make their own day harder."

"They’ll never pick the smaller, uglier piece of chicken when you cook dinner. They’ll never ask if you want the last Sprite. They’ll never do these things because their happiness is higher priority than yours, and there is no way to love someone that way."

Take A Bow

"They act like being with you is an obligation, not something they actually want."

– Mystic_Shines

"Takes two to tango, most of the time this happens for a reason, and the other party is already way over the relationship but doesn't have the guts to end it."

– karlmarkz321

You're The Supporting Character

"When you're physically in the same room, yet you feel as though they're far away - that your presence is 'incidental' because their thoughts and affections are elsewhere."

– NaughtyGirl66l

"Or when you're physically in the same room and you can feel their anger and irritation about your presence radiating from them."

– AriasK

Passive disinterest in you.

"They'll listen to your stories- if it interests them. They'll hang out with you- if you're their only option at the moment. They'll get you something- if you ask them to (despite expecting spontaneous gifts from you, and you asking them for spontaneity in return; this can range from coffee to something more extravagant)."

"They'll never meet you halfway on a compromise, and instead ask you to set aside your own needs, even if it's something major that you can't set aside. If you ever manage to set aside your needs, they complain about how you don't do it more often."

"If you want to show them music, they ask you to put headphones in if they're not enjoying it- but will blast their music, no headphones, and expect you to always enjoy it or put YOUR headphones in when you don't want to hear THEIR music (yes, this one is something I'm familiar with)."

"But when it comes to THEIR stories, and what THEY like to do, and what THEY want, they expect 100% of your attention and interest. Compromising is foreign to them."

"Word of advice to people, before they end up in a 7 1/2 years long one-sided relationship; if they won't, don't, or 'can't' show interest in what brings you joy, or expect you to make yourself uncomfortable and small for their sake? They don't love you, they love the convenience of love that you give to them."

"All the examples I used were things my now ex-fiancée did for that stretch of time, and she only confessed to me earlier this month that she only ever saw me as a friend."

– Vulpine-Poltergeist

When things get hostile, it might not be a good idea to stick around.

Ticking Time Bomb

"You feel you are walking on eggshells around them because they pop off at you constantly and use disgusting insults/curse words."

– tokoloshe_noms_toes

When Everything Bad Is All On You

"Contempt. Everything is your fault. YOU didn't do this. YOU didn't so that."

– thekilgore

"Yeah. Or blaming you for how they treat you."

"I only acted that way to you (disrespect, insults etc) because YOU did this thing I don't like."

"Basically, it's always your fault for them feeling poorly."

– Deadmodemanmode

Whiplash Effect

"They insult you, then love bomb you to keep you trapped."

– bourkiii-beans

"Yep been there done that, took me way too long to leave. Never looked back and been single ever since. Totally happy about that. Also took me forever to heal after all the tear downs, I still struggle at times. It’s amazing what one person can do to another."

– IntoStarDust

People have started feeling like their SO was slowly drifting away, indicating a unilateral decision was made to move on.

Slow Realization

"You can kinda just feel the drop off in interest. You may not notice it as much while it’s happening due to denial or something, but looking back later on it becomes pretty obvious."

– FriendlyxxLady

"My ex did this to me, but I put it down to all sorts of different things before realising he just didn’t want to be with me anymore. Was probably about 6 months of being hardly spoken to and dismissed constantly."

"In the end, I was just like 'Do you not want to be with me anymore?', and he like couldn’t speak, and shrugged. And that was it, a 7 year relationship over. I felt like I’d dumped myself!"

– mrspillins

"You stop being a priority. And that's not to say you always have to be the number one priority all the time, but it should be reasonable. If your SO keeps going out with friends instead of spending any time with you for weeks, then maybe you need to have a talk."

– NaughtyxxGirl7

No Time For You

"Lack of time for you is the biggest red flag, romantic or not, family or not, friend or not."

– Adorable-7Madam

"This is a big one, I let the guy I was talking to get away with too much but when he started neglecting me I knew I was done."

– EatPrayLoveLife

"I was in an abusive relationship but scared to leave, so I kept busy with other things and then they flipped it on me and said I was toxic because I didn’t want to spend time with them even thought it was their abuse that drove me away."

– can1g0somewh3r3

Your Concerns Don't Matter

"If you express an issue you have and they keep doing it regardless how much you tell them it bothers you."

– Several-Progress-991

"The bad version of that is if they keep telling you they’ll change, or refusing to address it, and just keep doing it anyway."

"There’s a different version of this where you have an issue with their partner, and they’re just honest that it’s not something they’re willing to change, but are willing to try and find other solutions if possible."

"That can still sometimes be the end of a relationship, but it’s an end where they communicated and realized you weren’t compatible, rather than made someone else’s life miserable until they realize it’s not working."

"The first one is a lack of love or respect or just someone too immature to be in a relationship at all. The second one sucks too but sometimes you’re just not right for each other and that’s ok."

– FlanSteakSasquatch

Being Unconcerned About You

"You tell them you're feeling down and lonely and they don't give a sh*t. Then wonder why their spouse suffers in silence..."

– notsurewhoiam89

"I hear you on that one. Nothing quite like a day pushing you right to the the edge of a metaphorical roof, thinking about that one last step, and they never look up from their phone, and have all of the conversational responses ('yeah? ouch. that sucks. uh huh') in the wrong places of the non-versation. And when you stop talking, that 5% attention is right back on the phone. "

– fleener_house

Lacking Confidence In You

"They act like you’re incapable of new or different things instead of encouraging you like 'you can do it.' Like if you try a new hobby or express a new interest, they’ll act like you probably can’t do it instead of cheering you on."

– Ok_Nothing_9733

These examples serve as a reminder not to discount your feelings and instincts that something is off in a relationship.

Rather than being in a perpetual state of denial that it's all in your head could come back and haunt you for deciding to stay in a fading relationship.

If your significant other is making you feel insignificant in their actions, be the bigger person and confront them about their cowardice of wanting to break up.