What makes someone likable? A smile, the way they speak, how they treat others? What is the quality you notice first? The thing that stands out the most when meeting a new person for me isn't simply if they have good qualities but how natural it seems to be for them.
If they had to pause and think about it to make a big gesture out of doing something nice they probably aren't like that in their downtime. The people who volunteer and do good deeds without posting about it, telling everyone about it, and just go on like that's a normal part of this day--those are my people.
Recognition is great but the people who do good deeds in private, those people typically have good hearts.
One Redditor by the screen name CremlinGremlin wanted to know the good qualities in people that shine through the most.
They asked:
“What's something that makes a person instantly likeable?"
Be nice to the shy kid...
“As a mini-introvert, I usually sit alone on a bench during school lunch, with friends sometimes joining me. Occasionally, someone would come to talk to me if I was alone, try to be friends. I hate it, but my respect for them grows immensely." MaskedNavajo
The way to the heart is through the stomach...
“They brought me something tasty. My affection can be easily purchased with treats.” sosogos
“I always do this! I've been told I'm a decent cook so how do I make new friends? Stuff their faces with food. Their stomachs? Full. New friend? Gained.” smolboi99
Comedy Central Eating GIF by Inside Amy SchumerGiphySeeing the beauty inside people...
“I have a physical deformity and everyone I've ever met brings it up instantly or makes fun of it, except for my current best friend. She hasn't even mentioned it once and she is the nicest person ever. That is why she is my best friend.” Kiaser_Wilhelm_II
“People who get hung up on trivial details aren't worth your time and energy. There are enough good people out there like your best friend to fill up your life. Think of others' rudeness as a convenient filter, letting you quickly sift through the rubble to find true gold. Never settle for disrespect. Keep on, my friend.” High_Point_Genetics
When they like to celebrate you...
“The person who remembers birthdays and either calls or treats the birthday person to a meal is instantly the best person in any group of people. We should all strive to be that person.”
"Pro tip. Put those Facebook dates right in your calendar. Within a single year, you'll have marked every significant birthday. I'm typically the ‘birthday guy’ in my circle of friends but I had somebody remember mine this year for a change and it made my entire f**king day. It's so absolutely worth the few seconds it takes to make a note for future use." TBoneUprising
This is a hard one for many people...
“The ability to be frank about their own faults.” Smooth-Revolution958
Beingkind when it's not expected shows good character.
“When you see them help someone in need while they really don't have to.” gargan_tua
“That's the trait that made fall for my now husband. We were on a bike ride and it had started raining so we were going fast. An old guy dropped his newspaper and then his cane when trying to pick it up. Now husband stopped picked both up, put them in the man's hands and told him to have a nice day before getting back on his bike like nothing happened.” iam_whoiam
“Someone who listens and shows interest in other people. It's hard to dislike someone when they're friendly and seem genuinely happy to see you.” deepthots20
“The cool people will be more likeable at first glance."
“A calm, happy demeanor. Being able to laugh at themselves or self-deprecate or not get pissy when people toss jokes at their expense. Smiles and warm eyes. That type of person will always do well in social circles.”
“Because they cause no static, no drama. They are just always showing off an appearance of ‘no stress, good vibes, happy go lucky, let's laugh and have fun!‘ That is very attractive in friendships.”
“No one likes that a**hole who gets all pissy when jokes are lobbed their way. Especially if they will roast other people but get butthurt when they are the target. No one likes a depressed sour puss.”
“No one likes someone who is already b*tching or getting mad over politics or always super stressed out and riding manic cycles... No one likes someone ruining the vibe and causing drama. Usually, you can sense it on people quickly too. When you meet people you can tell who is sincerely very cool, and who is not, for whatever reason. The cool people will be more likeable at first glance.” daithisfw
Being inclusive is important...
“When the person makes an effort to make everyone in a group setting feel included. I've always been the quiet and shy type, so I have huge respect for the people who find ways to include me in the conversation.” gabbykoenig
Be kind to service workers.
“Being nice to people in the service or retail industry. If I'm with someone and something happens at dinner or at the register and they're super polite and cool about it, then I know they're solid.” iBeleiveInSpace
Listen
"I genuinely love it when someone just listens and asks questions about what you're talking about, even if they understand nothing 😂 "
"Like, I could be rambling about an anime I'm watching and they'd listen, asking things like 'Okay, so this happened, but why? AND HOW!?' "
"Bruh, I could literally marry you 🥺"
- GeckoAJ0
Happy Stephen Colbert GIF by The Late Show With Stephen ColbertGiphyLet Me Be Me
"Good sense of humor, is what makes me most likeable to people."
"But I find, when others actually hear me out, can empathize with me, and don't try and tell me how to feel, act or be according to how they think I should be. Those really make a likeable person for me."
Kindness And Courage
"Kindness to beggars, homeless people, and other unfortunates, waiters, drivers and other providing service, and having time for small children."
"I traveled in parts of the Middle East and North Africa with a Syrian colleague who, to my surprise, was on first name terms with both CEOs in air-conditioned marbled offices with fountains and with the beggar outside the gate (to whom he surreptitiously passed money)."
"He lived by the old Arab/Muslim idea that all you will have in the next life is what you've given away in this one; a worthwhile perspective whether or not there's an afterlife."
"He was also a whisky drinking Muslim willing to face down anyone who tried shaming him (I sat beside him on planes often and saw him get glares often when devout Muslims saw him drinking; "You tell me where in the Koran it is forbidden!")."
"Being willing to defy social convention/think for oneself can be pretty attractive if the result doesn't adversely affect others."
"Kindness, courtesy, modesty, including refusal of credit, generosity etc. are all good, but kindness is surely first. Courage to be different and to tolerate and respect difference work for me."
- ponolan
Respect
"When they make sure to respect dumb questions - laughing a bit if they know it won't deter the person asking them, but respecting them nevertheless."
Person B
"Me: 'So when I was camping I found a snake...' "
"Person A: 'Oh yeah that reminds me! A while ago a snake.—' "
"Person B: 'She was telling a story. You could tell yours after.' "
"Me: :)"
"Don't be like person A. Be like person B."
- MixItUp0
Admit It
"Admitting your mistakes, or freely admitting ignorance on topics outside your wheelhouse."
"Maybe it’s more of my intense hate for the folks out there who will NEVER admit wrong. I was married to one (borderline personality with a nasty victimhood kink)."
"So when someone embraces their imperfect nature, it exudes a confidence that a lot of people don’t have."
Rat Boys
"I have pet rats."
"A lot of people assume the worst with rats or are scared. Anyone who is kind/curious about them instantly gets points."
"I love to talk about them and show them off. My rat boys are just so sweet and cuddly and I like anyone who is willing to give them a chance."
Appreciate Input
"When they actually appreciate your skills and input even though you may view it yourself as very insignificant. Especially if that person praising you is someone far above the totem pole and they acknowledge your hard work."
A Change In Views
"If they are able to take in new info and change their viewpoint if given sufficient reason. Also if they can examine things from other viewpoints without needing to actually adopt that viewpoint."
"Makes for very interesting, productive, and pleasant conversations"
In general, the qualities that make someone instantly likable are those related to being kind, being compassionate, and being inclusive. Qualities we all can be intentional about fostering.
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