People Imagine How They'd Spend 'F**k You' Money

Some Redditors felt philanthropic.

Family First

"Retire my immediate family."

– Ziggu12

"I'd pay off my parents' house and other debts and then send my brother a check for $0.81."

– She_Persists

This One's For You, Pops

"I'd retire my dad (46M) immediately. After my mom left when I was 13 (25M now) he stepped up to be in the role of both parents to us 3 kids and we struggle bussed pretty hard for a few years until i was able to start working to help out even though he said i never had to. I haven't seen my mom since I was 17. Both my younger sisters and I are eternally grateful for this man. He taught me everything I needed to know to grow up and be the man I'm now today. So, I'd return that favor. I'd buy him a house with a big a** garage and work space so he could work on his classic cars and trucks all he wants. I'm in that mindset now, I'm working to not only have a successful life right now but to take care of my own family and him."

–Slwrolla

Let the indulging begin.

Simplified Order

"I'd order Dominos without optimising the order to fit one of the deals."

– Si1Fei1

"Changing it to pan? Dollar fifty more. Bastards."

– DrGPeds

Unobstructed View

"I'd buy the first 3 rows of a Ja Rule concert to keep them empty."

– Usr_115

"50 cent is that you lol."

– eks91

Tough Lesson

"I'd get dental implants so I wasn't in constant pain/ didn't look like I started every day with a hearty breakfast of crack."

"Edit: The feel compelled to say that I've never smoked crack or meth in my life. I did all my damage with cigarettes, sugar, and good old fashioned neglect. I didn't brush my teeth nearly enough, often going days or weeks between brushing. Yes, depression. I didn't feel like there was a point, and now I'm at a what I consider to be a catastrophic level of damage. I haven't actually felt any tooth pain in a very long time unless you count poking my tongue or cheek with a jagged bit once in a while. I had two initial quotes from dentists, one for $15,000 and another for $17,000. Both came with the caveat that they'd likely cost more because of an unknown number of extractions that'd require surgical removal. Dental tourism isn't really an option, I'd be looking at multiple procedures requiring recovery and return trips that I'd rather not make internationally, alone, and require being put under for surgery, I'd rather not go that route. I live paycheck to paycheck, and not well. I bring home about $2800 a month and finances not covered by my medical insurance (and even those tbh...) in the scales of thousands of dollars are a fanciful dream not even worth thinking about for me. Yes. America."

"If you read nothing else in the post:"

"Brush your f'king teeth."

– uglymiddleagedloser

A Tasty Luxury

"Get a permanent personal chef, so that I can eat delicious food all the time, and in a relatively healthy way."

– Alkazeel

"This here is overlooked. Having some great chef that would also double as grocery shopper doing great food 3 or 4 days a week? Under 10 grand a month."

– PhillieUbr

Who would need a job?

Not these Redditors.

Peace Out

"Quit my job. I'm at the point I may do it anyway honestly."

– e22ddie46

“'What’s the point in having f'k you money if you can’t say f'k you.' Bobby Axelrod"

– smitcal

Off The Grid

"Disappear."

– YoungHermit92

"pay for a helicopter to come pick you up from work, 2 guys in suits come out, ask you to come back 'for one last job', you say you were retired, and ask why can't John handle it, the suits just shake their heads and say 'it's worse than last time, and they already have John.'"

"you look back, wave your coworkers goodbye, and get on the chopper, never to be seen again."

– Dravarden

See Ya Later Alligator

"Quit my job. It's not that it's a bad job, I actually do like it, but I don't have time for it! I would rather live my life and go on adventures. So many things to see and experience in this world and life. :)"

– chocolate_orca

Alternative To Quitting

"Never quit. Purchase the company while still working in the trenches without revealing that you're the new CEO. Begin making all the decisions you can see should happen because you're there. Fire bad bosses and managers, get yourself 'voluntold' to go to other stores/offices for various excuses, listen to the fellow employees b*tch about corporate and quietly fix the problems they bring up."

– Bridgebrain

Worthy Replacement

"I’d buy the company I work for burn it down and collect the insurance money and build a public restroom in its place."

– Doublecutz

If I had money burning a hole in my pocket, I'd rent out Disneyland for the night so my LGBTQ+ friends and I can have the happiest place on earth to ourselves in a safe space without the judgment of conservative guests.

Oh, wait, I already experienced that when Disney hosted their official Pride Nite last month!

Then I'll pay for another night of that, please, but this time at Walt Disney World in Orlando because they didn't host such an event there for a certain reason.

There'll be lots of rainbow balloons, confetti, and queerness all over the entire resort to make our presence known in the Sunshine State.

Methinks that's the ideal "f'k you money" scenario.