"Luckily for me..."

"I have a few but the worst, as I've said on here before, was when a colleague gave me a lift home from work as my wife was busy. When he dropped me off, I went into 'wife dropping me off' default mode, and leaned in for a goodbye kiss. Luckily for me, he wasn't looking and either didn't notice, or had an existential crisis and never mentioned it."

"The walk to my front door was spent bemoaning the fact I had been born."

SoapyRibnaut

I mean... I can't blame you. My face would be red as a beet!

"When I was in the 7th grade..."

"When I was in the 7th grade I got assigned a project with the most popular girl in school. This was my chance to become her best friend. I invited her over to my house and I thought we could chill before jumping into the project."

"I thought the best way to impress her would be to show her the dance I made to a song from the new J.Lo album. She sat on the couch while I performed."

"We did not become best friends."

SahmiSahm

This gave me a good laugh. Don't be too hard on yourself. At that age, kids lack a lot of self awareness.

"I was enlisting in the Navy..."

"I was enlisting in the Navy. I had to go for a drug test. The lady comes in the bathroom with you and watches you pee. I pulled down my pants and I had gotten my period bad; it was all over. I was mortified, I asked the lady if she had a pad or tampon, and she said no. I rolled up some toilet paper and stuck it in my underwear."

"The next thing we had to do was strip down to our bras and underwear (15 females in the room) and do stretches, and bends, and duck walk. I had on bloody underwear with toilet paper stuffed in them. Everyone saw. Everyone thought I was gross. I wanted to die."

lukriel

Why did they think it would be better for you if you just free-bled everywhere?! I am angry on your behalf.

"I asked my cousin..."

"I asked my cousin, who I hadn't seen in two decades, how long he and his girlfriend had been together. He informed me that it was his daughter."

kobblejagar

At that point just never speak to them again.

"I wander in..."

"I was rehired at a job after 6 years and most people still there remembered me and were happy to see me back. Friday rolls around and someone goes "Dave...come by the break room!"

"I wander in and there's this cake at the end of table and everyone is standing there. So I you say "You guys!" and blow out the candle ,not noticing it said Happy Birthday Julie."

The68Guns

Not hard to relight a candle and to be fair, you could always play this off as a joke!

"Some kid and I..."

"Some kid and I agreed to wear tuxedos to the last day of middle school. I was too young/stupid to realize he wasn’t serious, so I convinced my mom to front the cost of renting a tuxedo which I spent the next several weeks paying off."

"I won an academic award that year too, so not only did I show up in a tuxedo, I had to go up in front of the whole school in the gym to accept the award."

thisguyhaschickens

I realise it was embarrassing to you at the time but I feel that‘s pretty cool of you. The other kid should be embarrassed for standing you up. You got an award and accepted it in style.

"The time my high school history teacher..."

"The time my high school history teacher called me and the girl I was dating into her office, asked us about the nature of our relationship, and then told us we were cousins and she was our aunt. And that we should not be dating. We didn't know."

ThadisJones

I think there might be more to this story, no?

"Last week..."

"Last week when I accidentally sent an butt photo to my family's group chat for my grandmother's funeral."

[deleted]

Hey, look on the bright side: You took their minds off their grief!

"Love is bliss."

"During the early days of courting, we had just finished having sex. We were all sweaty and had those post-coital munchies. We went into the kitchen to prepare food."

"Our relationship was at that wonderful moment where everything was still new but we were gaining intimate trust. We had reached that huge milestone of farting in front of each other. We’d grown comfortable doing so and when we entered the kitchen in our sweaty glow I decided to let rip."

"I farted. Quite a small fart but with such pressure (I wanted to make her laugh) that some poop flew out my nekkid butt and landed on the kitchen door."

"I looked at the poo."

"She looked at the poo."

"I closed the kitchen door in her face and grabbed the kitchen roll. Utterly horrified. Hearing her howling with laughter the other side of the door. Me with my shame."

"It’s been 20 years and my wife reminds me of that shart almost every month. Love is bliss."

coglanuk

This is gold and I love that you two are still together!

"I pissed myself..."

"I pissed myself during my first grade play."

PlusDay2950

Stage fright, huh? Don't worry, it's quite common.

You live and you learn. As you get older, it becomes much easier to laugh at yourself. If you're not at that stage yet, you'll get there. You'll see that a lot of these moments are much more meaningless as time moves on and you acquire new experiences.

Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!