Parents Break Down Which Secrets They Think Their Kids Are Hiding From Them

Kids do the darnedest things.

The Third Eye
 

"My nephew lied as a kid but my mother knew and called him on it. He asked how she knew (I think she actually saw him do whatever it was wrong without him realizing). She said the third eye on his forehead winked when he lied."

"For about 2 years afterwards, whenever he lied he would do it with one hand over his forehead. So we always knew. It was great."

– princecoo

Forgetting One Little Thing

"My kids sneak food from the pantry after they go to bed. I always know because they forget to turn the light off. Every. Damn. Time. I refuse to let them know what their tell is."

– angmarsilar

Hiding Something?

"My 2-year-old tries to hide a car behind his back when I put him to bed. I pretend not to see it until he gets in the crib and go 'ooooohh you got me soooo good! You tricked daddy!' ”

"Then I tickle him which causes him to drop the car, I take it and hide it. Then I continue to play with him for a minute until he forgets about the car."

– AdventureBegins

Snack Stash

"My 5-year-old daughter has a stash of snacks inside of a cat tree. The cats usually end up dragging them out and then I overhear her scolding the cats. I let this go on because 1) it's hilarious, and 2) it's nothing I haven't already given her."

– pantherrecon

"In 4th grade I used to do something similar, except it was just a blank page that I wrote my crush’s name all over and I also wrote ‘I love you Crush’ all over it with hearts and flowers."

"But my mom told me she knew so that I would stop sneaking outside to throw them into the dumpster in the middle of the night."

– _DiscoPenguin

Avid Reader

"My daughter thinks she 'gets away' with reading when she should be asleep. The fact that I have such a large book expenditure each month is also a dead give away."

– Supermac34

Early Riser
 

"Mine wakes up early (some days) and sneaks in to take her phone to play games under her bed cover. I know it every time she does it. I don't tell anything.. 30 mins later I go to wake her up loudly so that she gets time to 'put it away'."

"And she pretends to have just woken up, and I pretend not to have known that she was on her phone for the last half hour."

Sometimes, they make your heart melt.

Silent Protector

"My five-year-old sneaks into his 18-month-old brother's bed every night. He thinks he's being sneaky, but I hear him crawl back into his own bed when I get up at 5am. It keeps both of them calm because our neighbors are loud and scare them often."

– SnapCrackleandCrazy

Dog Whisperer

"My son has a crush on a girl in school. He walks home from school every day and visits our neighbors very old dog. My son gives him belly scratches, and, in exchange, my neighbor's dog doesn’t tell a soul what my son tells him."

"However, the dogs owner…who is 'working nearby in the garden' is an excellent eavesdropper and knows everything, and she in turn shares it with me."

"He will never know that I know."

– IKnowAllSeven

You gotta give kids credit for their dedication.

Purple Giveaway

"Not a parent, but when we were kids and one of us was sick, my parents would give us those disgusting purple Tylenol flu pills that you had to chew. My little sister would fake taking them and then stash them under the couch."

"Our house got flooded in a hurricane, and when we pulled the couch out, the carpet underneath was dyed purple from all the pills dissolving in the flood water."

– Significant_Sort7501

Role Playing

"Right now, my 10-year-old is supposed to be asleep. Instead she's laying in bed searching for 'Zoro with his shirt off' and composing a folder with the pics. She has completely forgotten that we share a Google account. She's hasn't even gotten to time ship zoro yet."

– daejane1

"He had a secret character/identity he dresses up as in his room with a jacket and hat and acts out some hero thing. He’s never told us what it is. Been doing it for years."

– Oceanbreeze871

Gamers Gonna Game

"My daughter (10) has been using a shared Google doc to chat with a friend while they play games on the switch. She told me yesterday 'I delete all the text so don't bother trying to see what I wrote.' "

"I wasn't planning on reading it, but since she spoke up, I went and checked, and it was the most boring to-the-point game stuff ever. What Pokemon do they want to trade, and what courses do they want to do in Mario Kart."

– Threndsa

How To Quit Smoking

"I thought I was sneaky at 11 and smoked my parents cigarettes, hiding in the barn. My father threw a package at me, 'here you go, but not in the barn, you can burn the place down. You can smoke indoors!'. I stopped, cos it just wasn't fun anymore."

– Murkla

My husband and I don't have kids because we don't consider ourselves "parent" material.

But I can imagine the humorous aspects of raising little ones who think they can keep their clandestine acts a secret. The effort in hiding their secrets must be more amusing than the quirky act itself.

I guess we'll have to live vicariously through our parent friends about being wise to the ways of their sneaky kids.