In an ideal world, all parents are their children's best and biggest cheerleaders. Children deserve to grow up feeling loved and supported.
Unfortunately, that's not always the case, and even the most well-intentioned parents falter from time to time and can harm their kids in irreparable ways.
This leaves kids with a choice when they grow up.
Do they continue the cycle? Or do they decide to change their behavior and not repeat it with their own children?
People told us about all the ways they've decided not to treat their kids after Redditor wetbreadstick asked the online community,
"What is something that your parents did that you swore never to repeat to your own kids?"
"It's why I don't like..."
"Making fun of their interests and hobbies. It's why I don't like showing anyone my artwork. But I will do anything to support my kids and encourage them."
lil_adk_bird
Getting your genuine interests mocked and belittled is the worst. Especially when they compare it to things they’d rather you do with your time.
"If they tell me something in confidence, I'm not using that as a topic of conversation with others. Tell my parents anything and everyone knows. My mom just couldn't understand why I was getting mad when she was telling any yahoo at Walmart the whole story of events leading up to my divorce."
lil_adk_bird
This is huge. Your business is your business! Why is this so hard for some parents to understand?
"I thought I'd grow up..."
"I was spanked. I thought I’d grow up and spank too because I ended up okay and thought that’s how you correct kids. But then as I got older I thought back to how I’d deal with other kids who made me mad or wouldn’t listen to me. I hit them. It clicked this wasn’t what I needed to do."
rnr357
Learning how to use your anger in a constructive manner is a valuable life lesson.
"Try to be controlling..."
"Try to be controlling over my kids life and blame all their problems on the other parent."
Itsonlymedisguise
Not good. Children learn not to trust either parent in this scenario.
"My mom could go on..."
"Lecture."
"My mom could go on for hours for even small misbehaviors. Somehow, it usually looped around to how I didn't keep my room clean, even though the rest of the house was just as much of a mess or worse."
HawaiianShirtsOR
No one wants to be lectured, especially if they're only going to hear the same things over and over again.
"Refuse to admit..."
"Refuse to admit I was wrong."
[deleted]
Parents aren’t infallible, insisting you are is asinine. Parents can provide teaching moments by admitting, explaining, and apologizing for their mistakes.
"Come talk to me..."
"Be unapproachable. Come talk to me any time about anything. Everything can be fixed."
dflear
When children learn to hide things from their parents (and parents are shocked), something went wrong long ago.
"Use them as leverage..."
"Use them as leverage against the other parent. Abuse them, allow them to be abused by a significant other, abandon them then return years later once they've grown and try to cause them as much pain as possible for who knows why."
Droidecon
Did your parents battle over who would get to claim you as dependents on their taxes too? How horrible.
"Growing up in a family of drunks..."
"Get loaded in front of them. Growing up in a family of drunks has soured me for the most part to drinking even socially."
jtown82
You are very strong for setting such an important boundary for yourself!
"I want my kids to know..."
"Judgemental behavior. I want my kids to know that I truly love them because of who they are and not feel like they have to hide certain parts of who they are because they are afraid I won't care about them anymore."
Imloudcauseimdeaf
Many people decide to hide things from their families precisely because of that.
There is always an opportunity to break the cycle. But it starts with taking that first little step. Parents who aim to do better by their children are to be commended.
Have thoughts of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below.
@sama/X
