A major change to your life is always scary.
Even if you know it's all for the best, it will still take some getting used to, for an uncertain amount of time.
This is especially true when it comes to ending a long-term relationship.
Adjusting your daily routine that once involved two people to now be solely about you is bound to feel strange, almost to the point of unsettling.
Not nearly as unsettling, however, as when you begin a new romantic relationship.
Redditor TXBikeRider was curious to hear about people's first intimate experiences after breaking up with their long-term partners, leading them to ask:
"How was your experience sleeping with someone new after having a very long relationship end?"
Eternal Guilty Conscience
"It was weird and awkward."
"I think I felt sick to my stomach afterwards."
"Even though my ex was in a new relationship I felt guilty for being with someone that wasn’t him."
"I was with the same man for 10 years so it was shocking to be intimate with someone new."
"At least that was my experience."- cklovergurl
It's All About The Connection
"Empty."
"I finally get why people now prefer to sleep with someone they love."- Obvious-Dinner-1082
It's All New...
"Honestly, it was weird."
"I thought i was gunna say my ex's name during and a few times I almost did."
"But it was also weird cause they didn't already know what I liked so I needed to teach them."- ThrowRA55555567
Awkward Ed Helms GIF by The OfficeGiphy
With Change Comes New Beginnings
"Actually is was amazing in that:"
"It restored my confidence when it came to dating."
"New person meant that it felt different and new."
"Made me feel attractive again."- Psytrancedude99
Onwards and Upwards
"The first time was after a difficult and abusive 15 year marriage, and I was a virgin on my wedding night so had no clue what sex should be."
"I was incredibly nervous, he was awesome and patient (and 12 years younger than me!) and it was phenomenal."
"We were together 6 months, ended on a lovely friendly note & are still friends to this day."
"My next relationship lasted 16 years with a man who was the love of my life."
"Sex was mindblowing and phenomenal with him."
"He died this past year after an unexpected illness."
"I have been in therapy working through residual trauma from that long ago marriage, and feeling grief but gratitude for the last wonderful man I was with."
"I'm scared sh*tless to get back out there again, but he wanted me to date again after I was done with therapy."
"Wish me luck."- UnlikelyRegret4
A Much Needed Boost!
"She was freekin hot."
"My ego needed that."
"And it made my day."
"Kicked me into gear."- LeRacoonRouge
Tom Cruise 80S GIFGiphy
Much To Discover
"After 20+ years and half that time being a dead bedroom, being with a new woman and being desired and appreciated, almost brought me to tears."
"In this new person there was no anger or resentment or starfishing."
"Turns out I’m not the reason that I had no sex life."- U-dun-know-me
Well Then...
"My first time 'back on the horse' after a long and painful ending to a relationship that didn't involve much sex was like getting kicked in the face, in a good way."
"I had fallen into a slump of thinking I would never have sex again, or if I did it would be embarrassing, shameful, and/or regrettable."
"Then I met HIM."
"Well, no, it was more like I adjusted how I saw him, after having known him for years."
"We flirted, we drunkenly kissed, he eventually asked me out, and it went well enough that we ended up in bed."
"I told him he was welcome to do whatever he wanted, expecting him to use me for selfish pleasure, and convinced I couldn't orgasm from his touch."
"I could barely get myself off, so what chance did he have with my withered, atrophied nethers?"
"I rediscovered a swiftness and surety of movement I'd forgotten, without even realizing I was doing so.'
"It helped that he had an almost psychic understanding of my body."
"That was a year ago."
"We still wear each other out every single night."
"Since then he has revealed himself as the kindest, sweetest, wisest, and most thoughtful person I've ever met, and I've been around the block enough times to know when it's lovebombing and when it's just a nice person being nice.'
"Once we're both financially stable again (long story) I want to have his babies."
"My story is far from typical, you probably won't be lucky enough to find your Prince(ss) Charming on the first try, but it contains an important seed of truth - it doesn't matter how high and dry you think you are, if you find someone, and you want it, and you're willing to put the work in to overcome any awkwardness or bad habits, truly wonderful things can happen."- ibiacmbyww
No Strings Attached Isn't For Everyone...
"Honestly not good, I need to get emotionally attached to someone before doing all that."
"I was so over my ex after 7 years of battling our differences but mannnn, I didn’t realize how much you really connect to a person after so long."
'It is absolutely not something you can do with someone new after 4 hours of knowing them lol ."- Shazule
Finding The Right Fit Isn't Always Easy
"Relieving."
"'Very long' in this case was three years, two of which was living with them."
"Event happened six months after our breakup, which was mostly my stupid fault."
"We weren't right for each other, and I was very much a work in progress."
"Now married for decades."- the_original_Retro
Schitts Creek Comedy GIF by CBCGiphy
"Only Fools Rush In..."
"Just showed me that she isn’t her."
"Don’t do it if you’re not 100% over it."- LinaPrcs
Talk About Rebound!
"It was beautiful, and I felt loved and appreciated."
"Guy, dumped with no explanation after 6 years, completely blindsided."
"Sex was insanely better every single time."- ButterscotchScary868
Can't Be Said Enough: TAKE.YOUR.TIME!
"Miserable."
"5 years in a relationship that ended very poorly."
"I was a mess."
"I tried a few weeks after the breakup, and I couldn’t even get it up."
"Not only was I angry and frustrated, but the poor girl I was sleeping with was just as upset."
"Don’t dive in headfirst unless you’re ready."
"Sex is just as much mental as it is physical."- craq_feind_davis
Chemistry Is Key
"Relationship sex is so much more satisfying, casual sex feels so empty."- IntroductoryScandal
Ending a relationship can feel like your world is over, and you will never find love again.
But the only way that is guaranteed to happen is if you don't allow yourself to take the first step and start looking again.
AFTER taking your time.
As "making love" and having sex are two very different things, which don't always suit everyone.
@annewheaton/Threads
@richardadlof/Threads
@mikeisaphreek/Threads
@daisymouze/Threads