Everyone loves a bargain, but is there a wrong time or place to try to haggle over the price?
A 28-year-old woman faced such a question. She turned to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit for feedback on how she handled it.
Redditor Throwaway___30793 asked:
"AITA: For leaving in an Uber after my fiancè caused a scene at the restaurant?"
The Original Poster explained:
"I have been with my fiancé [Male age 32] for three years, We got engaged in April. He is a doctor and I'm a teacher."
"He's doing okay financially but I noticed his strange behavior with money. I don't know what to call this. But he has an argumentative personality."
"Whenever he buys something online or from the shop he'd try to haggle over the price. Complaining about how everything is expensive and overpriced."
"He does this all the time. I hated going out to shop with him as he'd try to argue constantly. That made me feel awful especially since he has enough money to pay and it's ridiculous."
"He used to pick up fights with his previous landlords. So far he moved into two different apartments claiming the landlords were the problem not him. Having lived with him and seen how he stalls with the rent I knew he was the problem."
"He wanted us to go out to a new restaurant and have dinner. I agreed and went shopping alone and got myself a nice dress since I don't have many."
"He insisted on finding out how much I paid and threw a fit when I told him the price. Saying I should've let him come with me and that I could've gotten it way cheaper."
"This really annoyed me it's just a dress no big deal."
"But he made me feel guilty for paying for it."
"I was in a bad mood already. He decided to order a meal from the menu even though he complained about the price. I told him he could pick something else but he insisted and said he'd figure a way to discuss the price."
"When the waiter brought him the bill, instead of paying my fiancé started arguing how the meal was overpriced and wanted to negotiate saying he won't be paying that much cause he thought it was too expensive."
"He berated the waiter for not accepting the price he wanted to pay. I told him I'd help with payment no problem but he was offended saying he'd never allow it."
"I was embarrassed since everyone was watching my fiancé telling the waiter he might be trying to keep the money for himself. The manager got involved and we had to wait for 30 minutes before he showed up since my fiancé refused to pay and get it over with."
"After arguing loudly the manager took the money my fiancé gave him and he ended up getting us kicked out while people were watching. I felt awful this was so humiliating."
"I yelled at him and refused to get in the car and instead called an Uber especially after he acted like he won the argument and had this awful smirk on his face. He said I was overreacting after he spent 45 minutes arguing about a meal which was rude."
"I stayed with my mom and couldn't help but cry after this embarrassment. He texted me later telling me how upset he was with me for treating him like this and siding against him."
"He said I hurt his feelings by leaving like that completely ignoring the fact that he ruined the night."
"I refused to apologize after his text and I couldn't even sleep thinking about it."
The OP added:
"No, not a cultural thing. I don't know anyone who does what he does. Especially not like this."
"We're in Europe, And yes I believe this has to do with how he grew up. His family always struggled with money."
"And is still struggling however this is unacceptable and he has no respect for other people and thinks they somehow deserve it."
"It's inappropriate and disrespectful."
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- NAH - No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
The OP was declared not the a**hole.
"NTA. I am secondhand embarrassed for you."
"You need to think about how long you are willing to stay if nothing ever changes. Are you willing to live with this behavior for five years? Ten? Do you want to have children with this man?"
"He's going to make more than you, and yet you cannot even be trusted to spend your own money 'correctly'. This is not how society, and especially restaurants work, and he knows it."
"You really need to think about what your life will be like with him. This sounds like a high probability for financial abuse if he is willing to berate you for buying a dress without him."
"Love does not conquer abusive, cruel and controlling behaviors." ~ Music_withRocks_In
"NTA and I feel like this is one of those 'do I want to be doing this for the rest of my life?' moments." ~ percival_fanning
"Agreed. As a former service worker, I want to add on: by staying with this guy, you are signaling to him & the people he's abusing that this behavior is acceptable."
"I've dealt with some truly monstrous people in my career, but I have even less respect for the people who think a quiet apology for their spouse absolves them of their complicity. You're choosing to go into the world with someone who you know will embarrass you and make other people's lives harder."
"Why would you want that? If you stay with him, YTA." ~ stickyfr0gs
"I thought this too. I would've shut him down so fast in that restaurant and paid the bill with a solid tip."
"I'm not blaming OP and I still think this is a NTA situation but harassing service workers is unacceptable. Hell, if I even caught someone being slightly rude to a waiter on a date I would be pissed."
"I wouldn't be caught dead with someone who acts this way in public and OP needs to go and do better." ~ TheConcerningEx
"NTA. This isn't the flea market where you can negotiate prices."
"He either agrees to pay for the meal he orders or doesn't order it. Price is there and him ordering and eating isn't some way to leverage that he should pay less."
"He agreed and ate it." ~ XavierDeRenegadeAngL
The OP was assured she was not wrong to leave her fiancé at the restaurant. But many Redditors noted enabling and complicity.
Before she walks down the aisle, the OP was advised to think long and hard over whether this was behavior she wanted to tolerate for the rest of her life.
Or as long as a marriage with this man could last.
