When on a first date, or even in the early stages of a relationship, we are often on the lookout for "red flags" that might suggest there is no future with this prospective partner.
More often than not, major red flags, such as a lack of chemistry or a personality difference, are usually evident on the first date.
Other red flags, however, may not emerge until much later, sometimes even after marriage and the birth of children.
Red flags that we either missed entirely or chose to ignore.
Redditor bunny_irina was curious to hear about the most commonly ignored red flags when it comes to dating, leading them to ask:
"What is a ‘red flag’ people almost always ignore in dating until it’s too late?"
Looking for a meal ticket, not love...
"If you can't figure out how they were managing in life without you, it's because they've stopped doing the things they needed to do now that they have you."- brokenmessiah
All Talk, No Substance
"When their words don't match up with their actions."- RabbitCharacter5686
There's A Reason People Consider Greed To Be A Sin
"Being too clingy and wanting you to ditch your family and friends."- Appearance_Cold
friends cling GIF by Nick At Nite Giphy
Minor Selfishness Is Still Selfishness
"Minor selfishness."
"Taking the biggest piece of desert, talking over you, unwilling to inconvenience themselves for you."
"I had an epiphany while dating that I was expecting men who were selfish in all the little things, to suddenly be unselfish about big things."
"It doesn't work that way."- Sweaty_Knee_7425
No Laughing Matter
"Taking everything as joke and somehow everything is funny, even your damn life."- god_complex_irl
Not Likely To Work
"Not actually liking the person."
"Sometimes we convince ourselves otherwise for various reasons, but it will always become untenable."- Aggravating-One2200
I Dont Like You Lebron James GIF by Uninterrupted Giphy
The First Step Isn't Always The Most Successful...
"Newly divorced or just separated or something like that."
"They are almost never, ever, ready to date seriously, though they think they are."
"They certainly haven't given themselves the time to unpack what happened to them and heal."
"You're gonna get love bombed, then see how noncommittal they are."
"Speaking of noncommittal, if they keep moving the timeline because they're 'not fully ready', TRUST THEM."- pay_the_cheese_tax
Never Something To Brag About...
"A Dude told me early on in the conversation that he can be a jerk."
"And me being polite said, we can all be jerks sometimes."
"Well, little did I know that he would really turn out to be a big jacka**!"
"LOL!"- Opposite_Pea_6243
Being Treated As If You Were Family...
"People mention how they treat waitstaff, but plenty of people know how to be decent to strangers or acquaintances for an evening."
"What I should have paid closer attention to is how my now-husband treated his sister when they lived together."
"I saw how much contempt he had for her and how illogical he became in a seriously small dispute, and I even thought, 'Wow. He might talk to me like one day...'"
"It was a neon friggin sign."
"He talks so much worse to me now and the severe lack of logic is breathtaking."
"After 17 years, he hasn't matured all that much in that regard."
"So my answer is: family dynamics and how they resolve issues with closely familiar people in their lives."
"Do they take these relationships for granted?"
"Do they treat their 'loved ones' with respect?"
"If not, one day, you might fall into that category, too."- spentpatience
george costanza burn GIF Giphy
Mountains Out Of Molehills...
"Getting extremely mad at the smallest inconveniences."- Original_Day6832
"When Someone Shows You Who They Are, Believe Them The First Time..."
"When they show you who they are and you know you wouldn’t accept that, but hoping they will change."- krk03
Partnership, Not Ownership
"Controlling behavior."- Samsaara44
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Even The Tiniest Effort Is Always Appreciated
"Blowing off/ excusing men when they put their convenience over your comfort."
"This probably happens the other way around, I just personally haven't had a man tell me about it, but I know SO MANY women who do this."
"When he knows it will hurt you if he doesn't do x or y for you, but he still does whatever he wants because that's what's easy and convenient."
"It starts so small."
"He says you're going to hang out on Saturday, then Saturday comes and you don't hear from until 11pm because he's been at his friends BBQ all day and 'forgot'."
"He said he would run by Walgreens and pick up your prescription, then he shows up and says the drive-thru line was 10 cars deep so you can just get them another time."
"Years down the road and you're calling your best friend to take you to surgery because he's 'really busy'."
"You are the one managing the entire mental load of the household because you KNOW it won't get done if you don't manage it."
"You're making excuses for him when he eventually doesn't show up for your kids the way he should."
"He's brought home a 4th dog even though you said you didn't want it because you do all of the care for the other 3."
"He knows what he's doing - he just doesn't care."
"Never, ever choose a partner who consistently prioritizes their comfort over your discomfort."
"Good relationships aren't 50/50 or 60/40, they are when both partners care so much for each other that they're 60/60 because they want to show up and support their partner and are willing to do the work to make it happen."- tootincommon
A Test In Compassion
"Ignoring your pets’ boundaries."
"I’m not even talking about outright harmful behaviors, just pushy ones."
"If they can’t read and respect the boundaries of an animal (especially if they have one themselves), they won’t read or respect yours."- an_ineffable_plan
Consistency Is Key
"Inconsistency."
"They may simply grow tired of pretending to be someone they’re not, and their real selves begin to slip out."
"Be careful with people who show this pattern."
"Sometimes, their real personality only becomes clear after marriage, when they feel the commitment is secure."- Taegibears21
Consistence Be Consistent GIF by BDHCollective Giphy
Some people just have that inexplicable, extra special something that leads us to believe that whatever problems we might sense will all be solved through the sheer power of love.
Unfortunately, despite the age-old belief to the contrary, love does not always conquer all...
