Duck and Cover.

In Iraq in 2004, my unit was tasked with pushing from Hit to Fallujah in order to find and destroy Muqtada al-Sadr's Mahdi Army. In one of the cities we cleared, we were about to assault a 5-story building that intel had informed us was defended by more than 100 insurgents.

We were stacked up outside a medium-high wall that surrounded the building, and I was carrying my SAW (~20lbs machine gun). I got a boost over the wall and immediately fell into, and got stuck in, a thorny bush. I remember thinking, "Oh, man, what a stupid way to die" as I waited to start getting shot at.

Turns out that this insurgent stronghold was actually a school with 2 friendly dudes in it. 0311

Sleep is Perilous! 

About 19k feet (5.7km) up in Tanzania. Felt incredibly drowsy while taking a rest and started dreaming. Guide slapped me on the arm. "Don't sleep. You die."

The chuckle and "I'm in danger" came when I realized I felt so awful I might choose sleep. nanooka_nono

The body will survive!

When you digest a meal, a significant amount of your blood is diverted for that task. This is why under normal conditions, eating a large meal makes people a little sleepy, or if it's cold that chilliness in the air will be more noticeable (because instead of warming your extremities the blood is busy collecting nutrients). When you are at high altitudes, your body cannot afford to redirect that much blood for non-essential functions, not because you have less blood but because the blood has less oxygen in it. So I think your body made the right choice. pixel_and_sticks

No crack! 

A homeless girl grabbed me from a bar and said she needed an ambulance because her friend had ODed. I followed her and started phoning one, she led me into an abandoned building. All that was going through my mind was "someone needs help" when she led me to some stairs and said we need to go up them, my brain finally kicked in and realized it could easily be a trap. Even if it wasn't I was about to walk into a crack den and was far enough into the building where escape wasn't easy.

Luckily my friend had followed us in and appeared. So I phoned the ambulance and we left. McAnalSandwich

You gimme FIRE.... 

I leaned over a candle and set my t-shirt on fire. I thought it was really interesting and turned to my friends saying "Hey, look everyone. My t-shirt's on fire." Fortunately one of them had more presence of mind than I did and put it out.Chickpea123uk

Gut Instinct is everything!

When a car jumped the median and was barreling right towards me doing well over 70. Luckily horse power saved me from death, my first instinct was to floor it. At least have them hit the rear door/panels instead of the driver side door (I was only one in the car). Rycin

Kids are rough!

When I was 7 I was playfully pushing a sheep and he pushed forward. Next thing i know i am against a wall, sheep head on my chest and 5 seconds later i realize he is too strong for me. I literally thought i was going to die right there. SirSnipesAlots

Collect all the keys!! 

A crackhead got out of prison and went to visit his girlfriend. She moved out about 2 years earlier, and I moved in.

So at 1am there's a clearly drunk and high nutjob trying to break down my front door while my wife and kids are asleep (somehow). I hadn't put the bolts on the door yet as I was only just on my way to bed when he turned up. I still got the cricket bat out just in case. generic_brand_cola

Pay attention to the exit tutorial!

There was this time on a school bus, we had a new driver.

The area is pretty hilly, and in this route, had this steep 50' drop off where the bus turned around with a 3 point turn.

But the bus driver kept backing up. Closer and closer, we almost went of the cliff. I'm sure that if we measured, it was within a foot.

I started looking at exits, how fast I could run to the front, or the side exit. Man, we were all screaming in terror. Good times.

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I'll never ski again! 

I took an out of bounds ski trail that looked fun (by myself, because intelligence is my strong suit). Came upon a tall cliff with a flat landing that I knew I couldn't make on skis but I had come too far to hike back to the main path. Took my skis off, tossed them over and climbed down. Hurt my legs, but nothing serious. Continued on.

Several minutes later came upon a sign pointing towards a 20km bike trail ending God knows where. It was around that time I realized I could end up lost in the back country of a ski resort with no cell reception. Decided to hike in the opposite direction the sign was pointing since it was uphill and seemed more likely to take me back to the main trail. After several whispered swears and a good half hour of hiking uphill (and across a sketchy looking wooden bridge) through deep snow in ski boots holding my skis, I arrived at a populated ski run. I now make sure to have someone with me for all back country related adventures. That way if I die, I can bring them down with me. SelfAwareOstrich

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