Couples Reveal Just How Often They Get Into Fights With Their Partner

No couple has a perfect relationship.

Yes, there are very healthy, well-adjusted, happy lovers everywhere.

But fights happen.

Well, fights may be a strong word; arguments is probably better.

Every couple spars.

It is part of the natural order of things.

No one says it has to be a knock-down, drag-out situation.

But disagreements happen, sometimes rarely, sometimes all the time.

What is the norm?

Redditor Confident_Cod415

"Couples, how often do you get into fights with your partner? Every week? Every month?"

Rare

"Been married 15 years, I guess it depends on how you define a fight. I’m sure we bicker fairly often, but actual fights I would say are very rare."

- Any-Baseball-6766

Loving In Love GIF Giphy

16 Years

"My husband and I have been together 16 years, and it definitely depends a lot on outside influences, stress mostly. But over the years, we've gotten really good at knowing when to let sh*t go, we have little tiffs throughout the week, but at the end of every day, I look at him knowing he's it for me and the insignificant sh*t just melts away."

- RogueSiren__

Define It

"Almost never. It’s very peaceful. 28 years."

- AnotherDominion

"I’m so curious about this. I suppose the definition of 'fight' needs to be included. Do you never have different views or opinions? And when you do, what happens? Do you both voice disagreements? Have there been times when you felt the need to voice a difference, only to have them completely disagree? Even in friendships, there are disagreements and conflicts, so it’s hard for me to imagine a relationship with rarely any of this."

- Newgirl713

Explosions

"Once a month, maybe a little less than that."

"My wife can be tactless when voicing her complaints, and I can react quite violently when I perceive unjust accusations. So we can verbally explode at each other for a couple of minutes. After which, we usually talk it out when we've calmed down."

"Still love her to death though."

- zeekoes

Just Twice

"Been together 13 years. We’ve had two fights."

"When we first started dating, we went to dinner with my parents and I brought up that she likes to smoke weed and that turned into a big issue."

- ballin_buddha

Healing

"No fights so far at all! Some disagreements and heated conversations, but we clarify misunderstandings on the spot, and we are completely open and honest. We understand where the other one of us is coming from and also are willing to admit when we're wrong about something."

- TheGandu

Besties...

"In five years, we had one actual fight. Except for this one, we only have the occasional discussion about something and then agree on a compromise. We love each other and are best friends."

- Samar_Dev

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No Blowouts...

"Actually, never. We’ve been together 20 years and never had an actual fight. We might take swipes at one another when we’re annoyed, but we’ve never had an actual blowout fight."

"I learned from my grandpa that you need to consider one thing before getting into a fight. 'Who actually cares more about the issue than the other. Just let whoever cares more win, even if they’re wrong. It doesn’t matter enough to fight over it and then be fine in a few days. Just skip all the BS and you’ll both be happier.' Fortunately for me... I don’t usually actually care, so she gets her way a lot more often."

- BGOG83

Forever

"Very rarely, 3 or 4 fights in 7 years, once over when to have kids, once over if we should have pets, and I don't remember the other two. Pretty chill fights too, and we usually try to de-escalate and remind each other about the bottom line (we're together forever), it's pretty cute. A relationship where fights would often drive me insane."

- Zizaran

Just a Handful...

"We've been together 13 years and have maybe fought a handful of times. Each argument was when one of us was drunk and the other sober."

"Since having kids, it is easier for miscommunication to happen, and we get frustrated more frequently, but still not actual arguments once we clear up the miscommunication. I think we've both snapped at each other more this summer than almost ever, but we recently bought a new house, and we're getting it all together."

"The snaps happen because we thought we'd been direct with our communication and hadn't, we perceive the other's words to be more pointed or annoyed than they mean to be, or we're just tired and not in a good mood. Even then, it's still few and far between, and our relationship is solid. He's my best friend and I'm his. We work on our communication skills, and it gets better over time."

- tibtibs

After the Break

"We used to have a pretty unhealthy relationship when we started dating 11 years ago. Then we took a short break and got back together, and idk something changed. We got each other more and didn’t fight nearly as much."

"This July was 11 years together, 3 years married, and one baby later, we hardly ever fight. I think once a year, we get into a discussion that would be more intense than usual. But I wouldn’t even call it a fight."

- Shot_Goblin

The Odd Couple

"She feels like we fight a lot. I don't. Probably every couple of weeks. And when we do fight, it's over fairly stupid things. Usually, 'My fault,' really just an issue of us being a real-life 'The Odd Couple.' She's a neat freak. I'm messy. Like 90% of the fights are about that."

"Today I fed the cat and left the tin on the counter. Small fight. I would have thrown it away next time I went into the kitchen and noticed. It's morning and we are both running around trying to get ready for work. My brain isn't prioritizing cleaning/throwing things away."

- Short-Box-484

Oh No Oscar Madison GIF by CBS Giphy

Here and There

"Maybe once a week or so? Not big ones, just little arguments here and there. Bigger ones that blow way up are much fewer and farther between. But those little bickering fights where you're upset for an hour and then everything's good do happen from time to time. I almost feel like if you're not running into those, you're not communicating enough."

- ConstantlyJon

Hot Heads

"Varies person to person. My wife and I do have disagreements, but arguments are pretty rare. Like, not even monthly rare."

"I know a few couples where both are hot heads. They have what I would call a fight, dang near every other day. But somehow, they legit could not be happier in their relationship. Weird, but I guess it works for them."

- 5eppa

Respect...

"Never really - I think TV and movies (esp reality TV) give people the impression they’re supposed to be fighting with their partner all the time. Most relationships I see aren’t like this at all - most adults work out their disagreements respectfully."

- hangdogearnestness

Aretha Franklin GIF by Respect Movie Giphy

See... the answers are all over the place.

Some people fight every day, others not at all.

There is no perfect answer on how couples should disagree.

It's just going to happen, so live with it.

Embrace arguments and use them as tools to improve communication.

In the end, that's where all the problems are at... communication.