After three miscarriages, country singer and American Idol alum Carrie Underwood says she told God how she felt.
Underwood sat down with CBS Sunday Morning to talk about the three pregnancies in 2017 and 2018 that "didn't work out" and how she was afraid to become angry because she has an incredible husband, hockey player Mike Fisher and son, three-year-old Isaiah.
To get through the tough times, Underwood kept writing. She says holding back tears:
And that was the thing, in the beginning it was like, 'Okay, God, we know this is, just wasn't Your timing. And that is all right. We will bounce back and figure our way through it and I got pregnant again in the spring, and it didn't work out. Got pregnant again, early 2018. Didn't work out. So, at that point, it was just kind of like, 'Okay, like, what's the deal? What is all of this?'
And throughout the whole process, you know, I'm writing and, like, literally right after finding out that I would lose a baby, I'd have a writing session, I'd be like, 'Let's go. You know, I can't just sit around thinking about this. Like, I wanna work, I wanna do this. cause I would literally have these horrible things going on in my life, and then have to go smile and, like, do some interviews or, like, do a photo shoot or something, you know? So it was just kind of, like, therapeutic, I guess.
It was while she was pregnant with her current child and experiences yet another miscarriage scare that she had a little one on one time with God.
Mike was away just for the evening, and I texted him, and I was like, 'I don't really want to be alone, so I'm just gonna go snuggle with Isaiah, and I don't know how I didn't wake him up, but I was just sobbing. And I was like, 'Why on Earth do I keep getting pregnant if I can't have a kid? Like, what is this? Shut the door. Like, do something. Either shut the door or let me have a kid.'
And for the first time, I feel like I actually I told God how I felt and I feel, like, we're supposed to do that. That was like a Saturday – and the Monday I went to the doctor to, like, confirm, another miscarriage. And they told me everything was great! And I was like, 'You heard me.' Not that He hasn't in the past. But maybe, I don't know, He heard me.
“I had always been afraid to be angry because we are so blessed.” An emotional @CarrieUnderwood revealed to… https://t.co/wfm9fsP8QN— CBS Sunday Morning 🌞 (@CBS Sunday Morning 🌞)1537105044.0
Pregnant Carrie Underwood Reveals She Suffered 3 Miscarriages in Last 2 Years: 'I Got Mad' https://t.co/yAkPw92hzb— People (@People)1537107592.0
Country singer Carrie Underwood says she had three miscarriages in two years. https://t.co/cRUA3k8nSh— The Associated Press (@The Associated Press)1537184234.0
@CBSSunday @carrieunderwood @thattracysmith I tuned in to watch but just missed it. I just love Carrie's realness.… https://t.co/HpP9Li7QTA— Jamie Heisler (@Jamie Heisler)1537105732.0
Amazing to see how strong @carrieunderwood is. It takes a lot to share a personal struggle like this, but important… https://t.co/UEoyOcDPfP— Mike Devine (@Mike Devine)1537113874.0
Fans of Underwood sent out messages of support.
@sam_ggonzalez My ❤️ goes out to Carrie.— Dixie doodah (@Dixie doodah)1537134185.0
@sam_ggonzalez & also that no amount of money suddenly makes a life perfect. People assume that because celebrities… https://t.co/5hF6x98wfy— B🐝 (@B🐝)1537154066.0
@sam_ggonzalez I couldn’t agree more. She’s a strong beautiful person and I pray she has a huge family and a long successful marriage— VeronicaHayes (@VeronicaHayes)1537152862.0
Carrie Underwood went through three consecutive miscarriages and still found the strength and courage to drop the b… https://t.co/f7D6979YUz— Stevie V (@Stevie V)1537117542.0
With many people sharing their own experience.
Having gone through three miscarriages in a year myself, I want to give @carrieunderwood the biggest hug! Sending a… https://t.co/pxj63d0vgX— Julia Southwick (@Julia Southwick)1537105777.0
@sam_ggonzalez @TAYL0R_M_ Also, women, talk about your losses! A miscarriage feels so lonely, so isolating. After a… https://t.co/ZidfmBVDWN— Alexmarie (@Alexmarie)1537132609.0
@sam_ggonzalez @flickerbria I’ve had 4 miscarriages and it hurts so much emotionally. I barely told anyone because… https://t.co/3UbjY3rzhL— ash ♔ (@ash ♔)1537138963.0
@sam_ggonzalez Ask almost any woman who's tried to get pregnant about the time she had to [fill inf the blank] whil… https://t.co/efpZB00Aku— Miche JC (@Miche JC)1537147367.0
@sam_ggonzalez @romemcelroy This is so sad and my prayers go out to @carrieunderwood carrieunand her angel babies a… https://t.co/RpY1IXe2oV— dbreezy (@dbreezy)1537177834.0
A lesson for us all to be a little kinder to each other.