After three miscarriages, country singer and American Idol alum Carrie Underwood says she told God how she felt.
Underwood sat down with CBS Sunday Morning to talk about the three pregnancies in 2017 and 2018 that "didn't work out" and how she was afraid to become angry because she has an incredible husband, hockey player Mike Fisher and son, three-year-old Isaiah.
To get through the tough times, Underwood kept writing. She says holding back tears:
And that was the thing, in the beginning it was like, 'Okay, God, we know this is, just wasn't Your timing. And that is all right. We will bounce back and figure our way through it and I got pregnant again in the spring, and it didn't work out. Got pregnant again, early 2018. Didn't work out. So, at that point, it was just kind of like, 'Okay, like, what's the deal? What is all of this?'
And throughout the whole process, you know, I'm writing and, like, literally right after finding out that I would lose a baby, I'd have a writing session, I'd be like, 'Let's go. You know, I can't just sit around thinking about this. Like, I wanna work, I wanna do this. cause I would literally have these horrible things going on in my life, and then have to go smile and, like, do some interviews or, like, do a photo shoot or something, you know? So it was just kind of, like, therapeutic, I guess.
It was while she was pregnant with her current child and experiences yet another miscarriage scare that she had a little one on one time with God.
Mike was away just for the evening, and I texted him, and I was like, 'I don't really want to be alone, so I'm just gonna go snuggle with Isaiah, and I don't know how I didn't wake him up, but I was just sobbing. And I was like, 'Why on Earth do I keep getting pregnant if I can't have a kid? Like, what is this? Shut the door. Like, do something. Either shut the door or let me have a kid.'
And for the first time, I feel like I actually I told God how I felt and I feel, like, we're supposed to do that. That was like a Saturday – and the Monday I went to the doctor to, like, confirm, another miscarriage. And they told me everything was great! And I was like, 'You heard me.' Not that He hasn't in the past. But maybe, I don't know, He heard me.
Fans of Underwood sent out messages of support.
With many people sharing their own experience.
A lesson for us all to be a little kinder to each other.