People Share The Best Ways To Instantly Tank A Job Interview

Sleeping Giant

"I had a candidate tell me 'I have extreme anger problems and I can't help but get loud and hands on when's someone's doesn't get what I'm trying to say'...it was for an engineering internship." -- KeemstarsBlackFriend

"NOT A WHILE LOOP!! A DO WHILE LOOP!!! WE NEED IT TO RUN ONCE BEFORE CHECKING THE CONDITION!!!"

"* shaking the other person aggressively by the shoulders *" -- moistkinkajou

In it for the Short Haul

"Where will I be in 5 years? Hell if I know but in 5 months I better be out of this slop house." -- BroadcasterX

"I thought the right answer was 'celebrating the 5th year anniversary of you asking me this question'" -- biggulpshuhasyl

All Good

"Sorry I'm late I got pulled over, but I was under the legal limit so..." -- lil-miss-militia

"just under the legal limit." -- kindsoberfullydressed

"Keyword being 'was' amirite guys?" -- Poly--Meh

Cartoonishly Problematic

"Excuse me ma'am, can I talk to a man here? Like someone who would be capable enough to interview me? I can't listen and answer to a woman." -- ilikesarcasticpeople

"I wish this was a joke but I once interviewed a guy who asked me who his boss would be."

"When I explained it would be me, the person interviewing him, he laughed and said congratulations for 'getting so far' but that he could not be expected to just do what I asked him to, and also any woman being in charge of a man was 'disrespectful.'"

"He did not get the job." -- TheWaystone

Keep Belching to a Minimum

"Did this already! Was nervous and chugged the last of my coke before going inside. Went to shake the guys hand and say Hello but a very loud long burp came out instead."

"I just dropped his hand and left."

-- RosieCakeness

Tough to Schedule

"Do you have masturbation breaks?" -- katep2000

Gauging the Strictness 

"Does your employee theft policy offer second chances or would you fire me right away?" -- SlapCracklePop

"Can I steal loo roll? Like, just 1 when it's nearly payday? Or enough that my extended family never need panic buy again?" -- JJY93

Way Ahead of Ya

"Bring a bottle of apple juice and proceed to tell the interviewer that you brought your own drug test sample whilst accidentally spilling it all over the table and their laps...." -- MatteBlack84

"Nah, if you're serious about it you'll use apple cider vinegar. They will never get that smell out." -- whiskeyweedwood

Optimal Performance

"I'm never on time for work as I sleep a lot but at least I'm not tired when I arrive" -- WhiskersCleveland

"In the 5 years I have been at my job I have slept through 3 alarms. As it turns out my natural wake up time is 10am.....2 hours after I start work." -- Ziogref

Pro Tip: Stay on Topic!

"Interview going well."

"Female Interviewer : Do you have any questions ?"

"Me : About you or the company ?"

"Female Interviewer : .............."

"Haunts my memory to this day"

-- ShreyasSodhe

Mid Shift Only 

"I had a guy applying while completely stoned."

"He was like « don't worry, I only smoke in the evening. Well sometimes before breakfast too »"

-- barbara84live

All About Eye Contact

"I will noticeably slide my hands down my pants. Then, while maintaining eye contact, take a deep and drawn out sniff of my finger."

"I proceed with the interview as if nothing has happened."

-- Ging_Philosophy

That Was One Tough Year, Whichever It Was

"'Wait, what year is this?' I actually said that in an interview."

"I had been traveling a lot and got some years and dates mixes up. The interviewer questioned me on how long I had been working in Germany, and I mixed it up. And I actually said that."

"Needless to say I did not get the job."

-- someonesgoat

Suppose Lyme Disease Would Be Worse...

"Here's what I saw someone do to tank their interview in 15 seconds. She stopped mid answer to a question, ripped her pantyhose open, dug out a tick, and then asked for a Band-Aid."

"No, she did not get a call back."

-- stickaforkimdone

So Much Work to Do

"Walk in."

"I'm black with a boring generic name. I've seen the light go out in many hiring managers' eyes the second they see me. Only takes about 10 seconds."

-- SystemOfADowneyJr

A Contemporary Offense

"I interviewed someone who rolled her eyes at me when I asked her to put a mask on before we got started."

"Spoiler: she did not get hired."

-- BearBeingFuzzy

In and Out

"We have a guy come in and say 'so I actually exaggerated on my cv just to get my foot in the door, I've never actually done any of those things'...."

"ok, bye then."

-- Letheron88

Strengths-Based Culture

"As an interviewer let me say my favorite one."

"Me: What's your greatest strength? Candidate: uhhh well I guess free lifts.. I can do like 80 now..."

"I had to excuse myself and leave the room. Mind you this was some 16 year old interviewing for a grocery store but to this day I still think I should have hired him."

-- serenerdy