Being rejected by the object of your affection is humiliating, and the awkwardness that follows the momentary heartbreak only exacerbates the embarrassment.
But after receiving confirmation there is no possibility of being more than friends with the person you are smitten with, is there any way to walk away gracefully?
Curious to hear about the aftermath of getting your hopes crushed into a million pieces, Redditor Ok_Cycle2916 asked:
"What is the best thing to do after getting rejected to make it not awkward?"
You can be the bigger the person, or at least appear to be while you're slowly dying inside.
Keep It Positive
"okay thanks for being honest, all the best"
– groovy604
It's About Self-Preservation
"Something that really works well for me is if i want to try and start something with a girl, i compliment her. Her reaction tells me all i need."
"Get really good at reading social cues. You can avoid rejection before it happens if you are able to get a vibe from someone BEFORE you go in."
"If you are wrong and she isn't interested I still like to pay a small exiting compliment or crack a joke to ease the tension, in that moment of rejection if I can at least make her smile or laugh then i can feel good."
"Finally, self-worth is huge. If you get rejected get really good at not taking it personally and not letting it wreck your energy. YOU ARE ALL YOU NEED."
– WillyM35
At Least Try
"got rejected by my crush two days ago & said 'well it never hurts to ask right :)' & then i almost threw up in the bathroom from embarrassment."
– funeralguestlist7
What Makes A Better Impression
"Absolutely just say something like 'ok no problem I understand…' and LEAVE IT AT THAT…even if (and especially if) you do not understand why."
"Do not under any circumstances continue to ask them to change their mind, do not ask what went wrong, do not throw insults on them in any way."
"The guys I’ve rejected who have simply taken it like a man and accepted it and let it go have honestly impressed me so much because it’s SO RARE."
– Sanchastayswoke
A For Effort
"i didnt know what else to say plz i tried my best 😭"
– funeralguestlist7
Playing it cool is fine, but even that may have limits.
Watch Your Way Out
"if you trip over something that makes you stumble a lil bit but not fall, you look extra cool too."
– karmagod13000
Move On To The Next Topic
"Just be cool about it, like 'Oh ok, no problem' and then change the subject or find something else to do."
– Diet_Coke
A Disappearing Act
"Backup slowly, preferably into a tall hedge, into which you then disappear."
– Amara_Undone
Go Out With Style
"If someone actually Moonwalked in front of me then there’s no way I would reject them!"
"If you can moonwalk nicely then you’re getting that date."
—————
"Full disclosure: I’m on an MJ kick bc yesterday on his sub I saw a very short but very high quality clip of him performing... and I can’t stop thinking about it. Usually the quality of his concert footage is poor bc they’re so old. But the quality of this clip was so good, you could see every bead of sweat. I am stunned by how drop dead gorgeous and talented he was. Makes me want to SHA MOAN 😩"
https://www.reddit.com/r/MichaelJackson/comments/t9fpus/comment/hztz3uy/
– Miss_Adventurer
The Message It Sends
"Learned this way too late in life but your best move in this situation is if you can just take it in stride and act cool, 'yeah understandable I get it no worries' etc. and cool off advances moving forward. It has worked out twice for me where this has soon after developed into a relationship, including my current years-long relationship. That's not to say it always works, obviously often you will just drift apart but that's just the way it goes when you roll the dice on opening yourself up to someone and you should be prepared for this when you take the leap. And often if you get rejected it may not be about you in that moment, it might just as likely be about something going on in the other person's life that they are not prepared to take that next step."
"I think that if you can come off as cool about it, it sends the message that you are interested in them, but it's not devastating for you if its not reciprocated, you have other interests and goals in your life that make you happy and drive you, you are a confident and quality person that is not worried about finding someone else, your life and value are not tied solely to someone being in your life - just generally conveys maturity and leaves the door open down the line."
"If you act immediately devastated or worse, throw a fit about it, you're putting a lot of hurt and pressure on the person you're asking. Put yourself on the other side of the convo, having to say no, and think about how you'd feel if the person you were speaking to was crushed - you'd likely also feel awkward and maybe bad about yourself and might start avoiding them to avoid the awkward, even if you generally liked that person otherwise."
– FargoniusMaximus
Or, persistence is key.
Invisible Telephone
"say 'oh that's awesome. i can't wait! ok, so I'll see you around 8? brilliant. ok. later'. then press your ear like you're pushing a button to hang up a call. now look at the person standing in front of you and say 'sorry what were you saying?'"
– Unlikely_Afternoon94
There's no real remedy here as rejection will always suck.
But putting yourself out there at the risk of being turned down is a noble act that takes courage. That accomplishment alone is worth acknowledging.
Besides, wouldn't you rather have a definite answer rather than tormenting yourself wondering if the other person feels the same way about you?
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
@PreetBharara/X
@RepBrendanBoyle/X
@twesq/Bluesky
@christopherharris/Bluesky
@evangelinewarren/X
@FrankC164/X
AMC