Kids don't say the darndest things.
They say the craziest things.
I feel like some kids are dark psychics here to throw us off our game.
But I dislike children so I could be exaggerating.
Some of the phrases and prophecies I've heard children espousing have left my head spinning.
Where do they learn this stuff?
Redditor Eli_JMI wanted to hear about the things children have said aloud that left people SHOOKETH, so they asked:
" Parents of reddit, what is the creepiest thing your child has said to you?"
I once had a kid, stop me in the mall and just point at my head and go... "BOOM! HEAD!"
Creep.
Over Him
Big Brother Reaction GIF by Big Brother After Dark
Giphy
"My then 2 year old accidentally locked himself in a room and was crying hysterically while I tried in vain to coach him through unlocking the door. My then 5-year-old pulled me aside and said, in perfect seriousness, 'Forget about him, Mom. He's dead to us.' I'm a little worried about that kid."
Plus_Cardiologist497
In the Fire
"Not my child but my grandchild. She was about 3 years old when her parents were expecting another baby. She kept talking about how she was so happy she'll have her sister back once the baby was born. The sister that 'died in a fire before.' At the time she only had an older brother and had never had a sister, let alone one that passed away in a fire."
MaggieMews
Before
"My youngest daughter has always had a fear of the water that’s gotten better as she’s gotten older. But when she was a toddler, it would have been easier to baptize a rabid cat than try to get give her a bath. One night at around age 3, I was doing my routine of trying to get her in the tub to wash off when she said to me 'I scared of the water. It’s how I died before.' Yeah, the bath definitely didn’t happen that night."
bluegrassmommy
Wild
"My grandma used to tell this story all of the time! Apparently when I was a young kid, I saw a big blue lifted truck and began talking about how I used to drive one like that, and I had gotten into a car crash and died at a young age and talked about missing my life. Kids either have wild imaginations, or they remember some stuff from an alternate timeline."
NewToReddit4331
Bye Daddy
Excuse Me No GIF by Late Night with Seth Meyers
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"As I was leaving for work, my daughter said 'bye daddy, have a good day. I hope you don't get shot' and then went back to playing with her toys."
BarkingBagel
Kids know jobs are dangerous.
Think
Okaay What GIF by ABC Network
Giphy
" Woke one morning before my alarm went off to my three year old son standing next to my bed. He then says, 'Go back to sleep and think about your life.'"
KJDub6
Dreams
"My son used to say when he was younger that he used to fly around at night. Jumping from lamppost to lamppost in the neighborhood. That it was hard to get there because of the connection to his body through the belly button."
"I would have considered imagination if it weren’t that my dad told me he had the same type of dream when he was little as did I."
felixkatz
The Watcher
"Not my kids but I used to work with toddlers."
"We had one girl who got so upset at changing time. She would cry and say 'No, the man is watching!' When she was on the changing table. She would point to the ceiling tiles (sometimes the wind from the garden door knocked one out of place) and say he was watching."
"Freaked all of us staff out, we all looked but there was definitely no one there. We had to change her on a mat on the floor inside of a stall because she was so upset. We did that for the rest of the year."
"The next years class starts... A little boy (these kids did not know each other at all!) starts crying on the changing table. 'No! The man is watching!' Pointing at the ceiling tiles again. Same situation for the rest of the year. Had to change him in a stall on the floor."
"There was never anyone in the ceiling but it freaked us all out constantly!"
moonchild_86
Oh Timmy
"We were living overseas and the area we lived in had been an old Chinese fishing village. Locals were superstitious about the area because the village had been removed to replace with modern housing and it was supposed to have made the spirits angry. My 5 year old son had an imaginary friend named Timmy but he didn't actually like Timmy. He complained about him so much it got creepy."
"For instance, Timmy didn't like certain people... Timmy told him to misbehave... anything that was misplaced was lost because Timmy took it, etc. I joked that at least we knew Timmy wasn't a ghost because a Chinese kid would not be named Timmy. One day my son drew a picture of Timmy to show me. He labeled it 'Tai Mei.'"
NinaNina1234
Stick with Chicken
Wait What Sudden Realization GIF by Nick Jonas
Giphy
"Went to check on my five year old daughter who was asleep. She rolled on her back, still asleep, and said, 'I must not eat humans, humans aren't food.' Before rolling back over."
tiredandstupid82
Kids are crazy. Thank the Lord I don't have any of my own to terrorize me like this.
Do you have any crazy kid-related stories? Let us know in the comments below.
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