We tend to scoff at terrible baby names–especially the ones that make us sympathize with the child who will ultimately face humiliation as they grow up.
But equally as cringy are certain names people name their pets.
Sure, they may come from a loving place, but still, poor doggo.
Curious to hear of unforgivable pet names from those who work with animals, Redditor Lia_Julee asked:
"Vets of Reddit, What was the worst pet name you have ever encountered in your job?"
They're choices, but not necessarily the right ones. What were they thinking? We'll never know.
Return To Sender
"Envelope"
– Mskorn85
"Actually, Darren, it's pronounced En-vel-oh-pee"
– Lilzhazskillz
Bad Mashup
"I’m deeply involved in the horse world. There’s a 'discipline' called halter, and many of the horses are genetic atrocities to begin with. They’ve been bred to the point of uselessness."
"When naming quarter horses, many breeders like to create a registered name that incorporates the parents’ names and bloodlines. So, somebody bred together the stallion Kid’s Classic Style and the mare Lookin’ Touchable. The best name that the breeders could come up with for the foal?"
"KidsLookinTouchable."
"Yeah. That’s the best they could come up with."
– ModernPlagueDoctor
Winning Asset
"Old neighbor lady had a cat named 'face.'”
"because it had a beautiful face, she said."
– praisethehaze
What About The Dressing?
"My brother in law named his cat Salad."
– LeagueIllustrious
Poor Doggo
"My old neighbors apparently thought it would be a good idea to let their 3 year old name their dog."
"The dog was named dump truck."
– [deleted]
Here's a name that just left Redditors scratching their heads.
Sensual Misfire
"Sexy - for a chihuahua. Just made the whole consultation very awkward."
– prouvairee
Expected One-Liners
"If you could just lift Sexy up here please, thank you."
"Now I might need your help to hold Sexy down."
"I'm going to put this in your butt Sexy but I'll be quick."
– Opening-Thought-5736
The Followup Appointment
"Yes, but will you bring sexy back?"
– ermahgerdshoez
These examples say a lot about the pet owners.
There Are Worse Things Than Just Names
"Mom owns a vet practice so had a lot of these."
"Best/worse pet parents named their cat D.O.G. and their dog C.A.T."
"James Bond was my favorite doggy (Pekinese). He was hilarious."
"There were so many Mittens, Fluffys, Spots and Buddy's they got lost in the sea of animals."
"Worst story was a rescued golden retriever who was so malnourished they nick named him Pancake. Sadly, Pancake's kidneys were done so he dies 2 days after he was rescued by the local animal control. The two days I got to feed and spend time with him made it all the harder to realize he could have been saved if his family had let him go instead of leaving him chained up in the yard before they left."
"I hate people a lot of the time."
– AzureaWinds
Jokester
"I used to work at a pallet repair yard and a bloke had the last name Pallet. Initial A."
"A. Pallet."
" Funny as f'k when delivery drivers asked him for his name to sign the delivery note."
– Jaster_Rogue
Sure, many of these are hilariously absurd.
But the poor, poor animals are the ones not laughing, right, "Sexy?"
@nyknicks/X
@RaqiThunda/X
@SLCLunk/X
@thegodshow.com/Bluesky
