oh-myyy-ribbon

Food, like art, is objective. What we all feel in our mouths is a private thought. Our bodies are chemically defined in so many ways. How we indulge in taste is our our journey. However... somethings don't belong together. Like, it's total revolt against humanity. And pizza is the basic food life force. Don't get crazy with pizza... pizza is beautiful already.


Redditor u/jordwumble wanted to discuss what sort of hellish, crazy menu behavior some people indulge in by asking... What is a clear and objective food crime that people are getting away with because we're fighting about pineapple pizza?

Pringles.

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I let a guy couch surf at my place for a while and he would sit with a tube of pringles, a thing of ketchup, and one of mustard, and eat the whole tube, squeezing ketchup and mustard on each one.

He also tried to have sex my mom. Some days I struggle with which of those irritates me more. younghustleam

FOUR PEOPLE.

One time my girlfriend ordered french toast, topped with berries and whipped cream, for brunch once (she has the diet of an 11yo)... Instead of being topped with whipped cream though, the kitchen mistakenly topped it with creamy horseradish sauce. Now, I know, mistakes happen...not the crime...but...

When we communicated the issue to our server, he spoke with the chef, who then came out and spoke with us and apologized. It was a simple labeling mix up in the kitchen. He corrected it, all good.

Before he left though, he kind of laughed to himself, and said, "you know what's funny - we've had four other people order that this morning, but you are the first to say anything about it" and then walked back to the kitchen.

That means, FOUR PEOPLE had french toast for brunch TOPPED WITH HORSERADISH, ate it, and SAID NOTHING! They were just okay with it. bmchasteen

Soy Yes.

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I've been putting soy sauce on Grapes is that one? Sethleoric

That is mind-boggling. I have so many questions. How did you come up with that? Do you eat this often? What kind of grapes? How do you apply the soy sauce, doesn't it just glide off the grapes' skin? I kinda want to try this actually.

pumpkinadvocate

It's Soup....

Friend of a friend (from Eastern Europe) went to NYC years ago. He went to some cheap canteen and got a bowl of soup. The tables in that place were long and everyone could sit everywhere, so you can get strangers sitting right next to you, which is what happened to this guy.

The man next to him got a bowl of soup too. European guy put sour cream in his soup, while the American guy put ketchup. They both looked at each other, like "What the heck are you doing?" Airazz

It's Ranch....

My stepdad knew a man who loved ranch dressing. Ate it with everything. I said fine no big deal. But when he told me the man mixed ranch and water and drank it I knew that man needed to be sentenced to death. Reddit

Watermelon?

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Someone in another post is putting watermelon on his pizza. Like wtf dude. amuraiSchoolReject

"What's the problem? They're made from corn starch."

Previous boss of mine used to eat packaging peanuts straight out of recently arrived shipments

"What's the problem? They're made from corn starch."

"Yeah but... You know what? Carry on. There's entertainment value to be had from you doing that, even if there's no nutritional value." Or flavor. sydney_cider

MARSHMALLOWS?

My local restaurant once served mozzarella pizza with marshmallows. I think they meant to put marshmallows with chocolate but things got mixed up on the way. dippis98

Nah, the Ninja Turtles just skipped out on an order because the Shreddar tried to bring the technodrome to the surface during the lunch rush and you were served the leftovers. Mercurial_Black

War Criminals...

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People who put ketchup on their porridge. wowloneal

War crimes have had less shock value than this... Clayman8

Australia. 

(Typically) American YouTubers tasting Aussie or Kiwi snacks, who try a whole spoonful of Marmite/Vegemite on their first time trying it. KiwiHaggisSchnitzel

Luckily I read about how you should use Vegemite before I tried it. I spread the thinnest layer I could on some toast (I think with a bit of butter? It's been a while).

Absolutely revolting. oaschbeidl

"Mexican chocolate" 

I once ordered a dessert that was basically fried ice cream with "Mexican chocolate" sauce. The sauce was sort of tangy and odd but it didn't taste bad with the ice cream so I ate just about the entire thing.

That's also about the time the kitchen caught their own mistake and came out to apologize and let me know they mixed up the chocolate sauce with bbq sauce. The server and I both awkwardly looked at my nearly finished plate. g-rhymez

Not A Stew.

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Sushi soup: http://emais.estadao.com.br/fotos/comportamento,sopa-de-sushi,860417

/\ Photo NSFL. jvcscasio

At first sushi soup sounded fine. Basically Clear soup with some rice, raw fish, and maybe seasoned with some ginger. But Lord almighty what the heck is that?!?!? IMian91

Sugary Wrong. 

I have an aunt that will always use sugar instead of salt in mashed potatoes. I think prison is the only option. burmsrock

I have a coworker that's in her 70s that puts a minimum of 4 packets of Splenda on her spaghetti at lunch. One time I saw her get a massive philly cheese steak sandwich and douse it with 5 packs of Splenda. The kicker is she's diabetic.SalmonDong7

How's your Breath?

For me it was when my old roommate would eat an onion like it was an apple. silver_blade001

My sister used to do this with garlic. Eessh. Kenutella

Don't Add Water....

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Cereal + water, instead of milk. Joseph01950195

My mom told me repeatedly her family was poor when she was younger so sometimes they couldn't afford milk and would just eat water on stuff like cornflakes and every time I'm like YOU HAVE THE OPTION TO EAT IT DRY SMH....systolicfire

National Tragedy. 

A German comedy show translated called "Hidden camera" did that in a 5 star-restaurant of a famous chef. Actors put Ketchup on their expensive dinner and poured Coke in their even more expensive red wine, while the chef was standing next to them. Dude was close to crying and loosing his mind. It started a national outrage when the episode aired.Prince-Akeem-Joffer

Puke.

Oreos dipped in orange juice. booksoverppl

That's it. You just won the thread. I've got a tough stomach and a pretty adventurous palate, but that made me wanna puke. Pneumatrap

Just be a Vegetable....

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Making french fries out of cauliflower is OK if you want to.

But telling me that I'm literally not going to be able to tell the difference between that and potato? That's the crime. It's just insanity. I can tell, as can everyone else with working taste buds who pays even the slightest bit of attention.adrianmonk

Nasty. Nasty. 

Taking excessive food at buffets and wasting most of it. It should be a crime if not a conviction of the conscience.1MichaelThompson

The down side of buffets is often the food has been sitting a long time and you don't know what is nasty until you take it.ITpuzzlejunkie

Break it Off....

Not breaking Kit Kat's into their individual sticks before you eat them. A friend of mine once bit sideways into a Kit Kat and we were all horrified. rubensinclair

Give him a break. intensely_human

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